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wedding etiquette around present and attendance

  • 19-11-2015 9:24am
    #1
    jon1981
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,359 ✭✭✭


    Hi,

    Just looking for peoples thoughts on this. In a scenario were the bride and groom have been given a card and monetary present in advance of the wedding by a guest(s) and the guest(s) have to cancel last minute due to circumstances outside of their control. What is the right thing to do with respect to the money received as a gift? Give it back? Keep it? Would giving it back insult them?
    Would keeping it be seen as mean?

    thanks
    J


Comments

  • #2
    SecretBride
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 89 ✭✭SecretBride


    If I were invited to a wedding and had given a card and gift I would never expect it back whatever happened in relation to me attending the wedding.

    My gift would be to the bride and groom who I cared enough about to actually give/buy a gift for to celebrate their marriage and not as a 'barter' for attending their wedding and eating their food.

    I would treat it as any other gift and send them a lovely thank you card mentioning the fact that you missed them at the wedding and would love to meet up soon for a mini celebration.


  • #3
    lazygal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    I see a wedding gift as something to celebrate the occasion of a marriage. We'd usually give a gift even if we can't attend a wedding.


  • #4
    Milly33
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,658 ✭✭✭Milly33


    I would keep it would think that is the norm. Sure it is the same as any other gift as such. If they gave you a birthday pressie and then could not go to the party would you give it back..


  • #5
    stickybookmark
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,186 ✭✭✭stickybookmark


    keep it. Offering it back would be awkward.
    It's just one of those things...


  • #6
    Dodge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,330 ✭✭✭✭Dodge


    No one expects that gift back. Even if they're the most miserable people on earth, they'll be happy not to have the expense of hotel, drinks, hair do, etc that come with a wedding

    Enjoy the gift and married life guilt free


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  • #7
    seamus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Depending on how close you are to the couple, you could arrange to bring them out for dinner at some point to catch up and thank them in person?


  • #8
    Jen44
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 455 ✭✭Jen44


    defo keep it you would prob insult them giving it back


  • #9
    Miaireland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,065 ✭✭✭Miaireland


    People give a present to the Bride and Groom (whether it is a physical present or a cash gift) as a gift to celebrate their marriage. They don't give it to refund the Bride and Groom for the price of the meal they get at the wedding. Of course they would not expect it back.


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