Tactless friend - need to vent !!

doireann08

Hi all

I met up with a girl I used to work with tonight for a few drinks . I know her about 8 years or so . When we worked together , we used to hangout a good bit . Since I left company , we meet up every few months for a catch up.

Sarah means well , heart in the right place, but she really p'ssed me off tonight.
I turned 39 this year , however for the last 3 years coming up to my birthday, she has asked me - are you celebrating a milestone birthday?

She asked me last year , I said no, this year I said no. Anyway as we were walking to our cars - she said " So are you still saying you are 37, you've been that age for the last 3 years "

I said to her that I wasn't 40 this year but I will be next year . She kept going on and on about it . Saying that I was definitely not 39, but 40 and why did I have a problem with being 40? The whole thing was so ridiculous and childish but I was getting pretty annoyed . I said to her this whole questioning was getting offensive particulary as she has asked me every year for the last 3 years if I am 40.

She apologised but said she was only asking because she wanted to get me a nice birthday card.

Turning 40 doesn't bother me in the slightest but I just found the whole situation really odd. I mean why couldn't she just accept when I told her that I was 39 rather than repeatedly saying no way was I 39, that I was definitely 40

Kind of trivial but I'm really annoyed with her to the point that I don't really want to meet up with her again . If this was an isolated incident , it wouldn't bother me, however she had had digs at me before saying I looked older than my age but acted younger .

myshirt

To be fair, there are a portion of women who will of course lie about their age. If you look 40, you look 40, what about it. I'd say she's genuine and only trying to be nice. You might feel better in the morning. Forget this '40 for the last three years', 'husband can now trade me in for two 20 year olds', or if you dont have a man 'no man will have me now, and I'll have to subject a few cats to a life of misery with me'

It's nonsense.

Someone has to be the one in a social circle of ladies that's getting on looks wise and looks a bit older, it's no biggie. Embrace it.

Ursus Horribilis

Sounds like there's a pair of you in it. Is she a nice person/good company apart from this? Next time she brings it up, just give her some facetious answers and change the subject. Tell her you're 43 or something and she has missed the boat.

R.D. aka MR.D

Do you enjoy her company otherwise?

If so, then the next time, as soon as she brings it up tell her that it's not very nice to go on about your age like that and it's hurtful. If she doesn't apologise back off at a genuine request to stop, then she isn't much of a friend.

If not, then forget about her. If she's rude and not good company then why bother?

Rubberchikken

she may mean well and her heart may well be in the correct place but she is tactless and childish. unless she's trying to get a rise out of you, why she'd go on about your age puzzles me.
if you actually like her, keep meeting up with her. but if it's got to where you're just doing so because you used to work with her, then maybe it's time to call a halt.
take care

Neyite

Why didn't you just show her your ID?

I'm 40 but am told I don't look it a lot, but I don't think I'd get to a stage where I'm so annoyed I'd end a friendship though.

She has been a bit pushy on the subject, which I get was annoying, but it could have been diffused with humour eg. a silly bet that the next round of drinks was on her if you could prove the age you were claiming to be and pull out your driver's licence or passport or whatever ID you tend to carry. Then slag her back a bit that it must be because she uses a fake age that she's getting confused about yours.

Back in the day when I used to go clubbing I used to bet the bouncer asking me for ID that if I was older than him, he'd let me in free. And it worked fair few times too.