Age gap whats your thoughts

Ciara M26

I am 25 years old but have recently started seeing a 19 year old guy I really like him but the age gap thing holds me back a little just wondering what others would think of it silly I know but still does anyone think the age difference is too much and 19 year old guys would you date a 25 year old girl?

We get on really well and I never notice the age difference until I think about it too much ðŸ˜
Thanks guys

Addle

I did my leaving cert at 19.
I presume a 25 year old is working a while.
Very different stages of life lived and ahead.
I think it's inappropriate.

Witchie

If you are happy together and are on the same page life wise, there is no issue in my eyes. Just be careful that he is mature enough in all ways.

Exclamation Marc

It's not 'inappropriate' at all but I would say that even though it's only 6 years he's probably at a very different stage of life to you where I assume he's living the college life and on nights out quite frequently whereas you're working maybe?

Generally 19 year old guys are still fairly immature for serious relationships, especially if its not with someone in the same stage of life. I'm a guy so its a little different but at 25 I wouldn't have bothered trying to have a serious relationship with a 19 year old girl as work life and college life are so incompatible.

missrosetaylor

What others think doesn't really matter too much. What matters is your happiness, and the only issue I see here is that you being 25 and him being 19, he might still have a lot of living to do before he reaches the same level of maturity that you are at. This could lead to problems down the line.

Ciara M26

missrosetaylor wrote: »

What others think doesn't really matter too much. What matters is your happiness, and the only issue I see here is that you being 25 and him being 19, he might still have a lot of living to do before he reaches the same level of maturity that you are at. This could lead to problems down the line.

Thanks for the feedback its all just a little confusing at the moment I don't know what to think

CaraMay

Hmmm I think it's a huge gap and wouldn't be comfortable if he was my son / friend. He's way younger than you mentally

trixychic

I don't and can't really have an opinion as my bfs gran and grandad had an age gap of 21yrs. They had 7 kids and were happy out. He died from Alzheimer's a few yrs back.

So while I would often jump straight to judgement.... I then stop and think of them.

Not sure if that's even helpful. Sorry

Xcellor

CaraMay wrote: »

Hmmm I think it's a huge gap and wouldn't be comfortable if he was my son / friend. He's way younger than you mentally

Agree. Even the most mature 19 year olds are still stupid because they havent lived enough.

Ave Sodalis

Addle wrote:

I did my leaving cert at 19.

Where as I was going into final year of a four year degree.
It really depends OP. None of us can say yes or no for definite without knowing either of you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It is really only your call to make.

OnTheCouch

In theory it shouldn't be a problem if you both really like each other. He's over 18 so no issue legally either.

However in my experience, if there is to be an age gap, it is probably preferable that the man is older, simply because men as a general rule take longer to mature.

We don't know anything about him either. You didn't mention if he was working or at college. That may make a difference, if he has been working for a few years he may possibly be slightly more mature in terms of responsibilities (a paid job clearly requires you to be more organised than merely attending classes) than someone pursuing higher education. As others have said, the two lifestyles are so different that combining them may be tricky. If you work the traditional 9-5 Mon-Friday schedule, it'll be hard to reconcile that with your boyfriend who wants to go out on the lash every Tuesday and Thursday.

I wouldn't agree with the poster who said that just because he is that age he is immature on the other hand. People mature at hugely different rates and no one knows what sort of life experience they have had that made them grow up quicker.

I will say that the greater the age gap, the higher the chances of the relationship not working out mind you. In your case if both of you were ten years older it may not be so bad, but he's still likely at 19 to be somewhat 'unsettled' as a person. It's possible that he acts more mature than he actually is around you and your friends, which may be quite tiring for him in the long run. Not as extreme obviously, but a little similar to how many of us tended to act as children when introduced to friends of our parents.

You'll also get a lot of social pressure dissuading you from going any further. Many women I know who are older than you, wouldn't even consider going out with anyone more than 1-2 years younger than themselves. And parents/older relatives tend to greatly favour couples who are as similar as possible, (ie age, background, educational status etc). Just to warn you, society in general won't be particularly favourable to this relationship.

So to conclude, only you know the bond and circumstances you have with this man. If you are really right for each other than yes, things can certainly work out. But it would also be naive to not consider the problems that can and will occur, plus the reactions from other people.

ibarelycare

Is this the guy you were asking about in this thread? In the space of 5 days have you gone from not knowing if he liked you to seeing each other?



Anyway if you're both happy, then screw everyone else, but as others said you probably are at different stages in life so it might not be completely smooth sailing.

Taltos

Mod note
OK OP as this is your 4th thread in RI in around 1 month, 3 in the last week I have closed them all.
Posting on the same thing here is a no-no and per our charter all threads will be closed.