Advice needed

LegacyUser

Okay.. So at 29 I've never had a relationship or had sex (I've messed around etc but never went the whole thing). Do you think this would be a No No in a future partner....?

I've worked on my own self esteem and confidence issues which held me back over the years . However every now and then this thought comes into my head "what will people think"

I've properly ventured in to the world of online dating and even though on POF I get mutual matches and views - I rarely get messages, and yes I message first but usually they stop chatting after 1 or 2 messages. Now I know I'm not WOW gorgeous but I'm not ugly either, I keep fit etc ...

Then when I'm out I wonder do I give a standoffish impression as most guys won't approach me but if I approach them then its great. However, I rarely approach guys out of fear of rejection or being ridiculed. Also, I'm not keen nor do I think you really can meet someone in the pub scene these days unless it's through a friend! Most people are gone quite cliquey...

I fear ending up with someone I have no chemistry with just because they like me ... I also am quite happy in my own company and could see myself always being single, but I would like to experience a relationship at some point!

So in regards to online dating, can someone advise do you think it's the pictures or am I not interesting enough in the about me section.

In real life as I'm not a big drinker, how would you advise going up to guys in general -

magneticimpulse

Feel for You. In a similar situation. I fear I might be single forever and I look at single female friends in their 40s...sorry I can't give advice...just thought I'd show support and let you know you are not alone

Exclamation Marc

I don't think there's anything wrong with not having sex at 29 from the point of view of a prospective partner. People can sleep with dozens of people and be truly awful in bed, it's really irrelevant from the other person's point of view. And in every relationship, it will always take a few goes to become compatible and get things right as the first few times can be fiddly or awkward with anyone. I dated someone previously for 2ish years and I was her first at 23 (a few months into the relationship) and it had no bearing on how I looked at her/us.

You are right on the pub/club scene, it's an awful place to try and meet people, very rarely does it work or do you get more than someone looking for a night and not much else. In terms of approaching people, have no fear, if they're not interested then it's their loss. You'll never be ridiculed for approaching someone and if you ever hear any smart-arse comments, then you've dodged a bullet. Online dating can be tough, a lot of guys lose interest when they figure they're not getting a ride straight away. It's pathetic but quite common (i've a few firends who approach it like that sadly), so it can be a bit of a wade through the bell-ends before someone of real promise comes along but messaging first is a good approach.

I'll have to leave the 'how to approach a guy' part to a female I'm afraid, as I wouldn't know where to start