So I think I just invited a paedophile into my life...

Witchie · 12-11-2015 4:40am #1

I was on a dating forum, and by chance got chatting to a guy in America who, though quite a bit older than me, was very charming and funny. We just clicked and started chatting.

Then we started emailing and tonight I added him on Facebook, where his full name was revealed. I googled him and turns out he is on the sex offenders register for trying to illicit sex from a minor using a computer. It is definitely the same guy from details he has given me and photos I have seen.

I have told him that because of the age difference I am not comfortable being friends on fb coz my mum will ask questions and have unfriended and blocked him but am a bit freaked that he has my email address.

I don't know what am worried about really as a) I am not a minor and b) I didn't send him any pics or anything but just worried that he might now target some of the people I am friends with including some kids that I know.

I feel so sick.

FanadMan · 12-11-2015 4:53am

Report him to FB? They mightn't want him online.

Witchie · 12-11-2015 5:13am

I reported him on the dating site and provided links showing who he is. Found out that he was caught by a sting operation. He was chatting to a "dad" and trying to talk him into having sex with him, he shared naked photos of himself and photos of him having sex with a minor and expressed an interest in having sex with the "dad's" 12 year old son and 14 year old daughter.

Sick f...

Am really upset now coz I was getting to know this guy. He was telling me how he was robbed while living in Jamaica and had a machete put to his throat, now I am thinking it was done to him coz he was kiddy fiddling over there.

Just reported him on FB.

Sunnyisland · 12-11-2015 6:09am

As he hasn't committed any crime yet suppose reporting him is all you can do As these people need to be tagged,also don't forget to let your FB friends no.

smash · 12-11-2015 6:12am

Might be time to ditch the dating websites witchie. You've already said you're a minor, so why are you on them?

Witchie · 12-11-2015 6:13am

Apparently fb have a policy of removing convicted sex offenders, which he is, from the site so hopefully, coz his picture isn't on fb and his name isn't given in full, that they can see it is indeed him and remove him.

Figbiscuithead · 12-11-2015 6:17am

smash wrote: »

Might be time to ditch the dating websites witchie. You've already said you're a minor, so why are you on them?

She said she wasn't a minor.

smash · 12-11-2015 6:18am

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

She said she wasn't a minor.

Oh yea. I'm still waking up here...

Witchie · 12-11-2015 6:21am

Smash am 42. Lol.

smash · 12-11-2015 6:22am

Witchie wrote: »

Smash am 42. Lol.

And remembered just after my last reply that I know you from other forums. I'm getting a coffee....

Witchie · 12-11-2015 6:23am

You are forgiven this time.

keithclancy · 12-11-2015 8:32am

Witchie wrote: »

I was on a dating forum, and by chance got chatting to a guy in America who, though quite a bit older than me, was very charming and funny. We just clicked and started chatting.

That was your mistake right there, lots of weirdos in that America place.

You sure it's the same guy ? Lots of people have the same name.

Buona Fortuna · 12-11-2015 8:38am

Hi Witchie

Report him to the FBI

https://tips.fbi.gov/

PARlance · 12-11-2015 8:42am

You can't win em all.... head up, chances are the next one will be normal enough.

Brian201888 · 12-11-2015 8:44am

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Hi Witchie

Report him to the FBI

https://tips.fbi.gov/

Report what exactly to the FBI? " A previously convicted person is speaking to me "

12-11-2015 8:49am

Imagine if this guy is innocent and then suddenly he gets removed from loads of places and suddenly has the cops at his door.

Buona Fortuna · 12-11-2015 8:50am

Eoghan_2 wrote: »

Report what exactly to the FBI? " A previously convicted person is speaking to me "

I'm open to correction but I understood it to be a dating site.

but ....

Witchie wrote: »

..... but just worried that he might now target some of the people I am friends with including some kids that I know.

I feel so sick.

I'm not saying they'll be able to do anything but its a little more proactive than "reporting to FB".

Peregrinus · 12-11-2015 9:06am

Wait a minute. You're not a minor, but when you wanted to break off contact with this guy one of the explanations you offered him was "my mum will ask questions"?

Does he think you're a minor?

Does he think you're a minor because you have let him think that, or even led him to think that?

Are you presenting online as a minor, or as someone who might be a minor?

I don't want to accuse you of anything, so my apologies if I have put two and two together here, and got 22. But if you're not a minor, but are presenting in online dating sites as a minor, you really can't go to the authorities about this. This behaviour is classic paedophile-trolling-for-victims behaviour. I'm sure that's not your intention, but can't you see how it would look from someone else's perspective? Absolutely do not ever do this, or do anything that could remotely be misconstrued as doing this.

StewartGriffin · 12-11-2015 9:10am

Witchie wrote: »

I have told him that because of the age difference I am not comfortable being friends on fb coz my mum will ask questions and have unfriended and blocked him but am a bit freaked that he has my email address.

Witchie wrote: »

Smash am 42. Lol.

12-11-2015 9:15am

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Hi Witchie

Report him to the FBI

https://tips.fbi.gov/

Sorry report him for what exactly?

Edit: I'm now thinking this a joke :pac:

Reporting to the FBI is such an overreaction, that it can't be in earnest

PARlance · 12-11-2015 9:16am

Peregrinus wrote: »

Wait a minute. You're not a minor, but when you wanted to break off contact with this guy one of the explanations you offered him was "my mum will ask questions"?

Does he think you're a minor?

Does he think you're a minor because you have let him think that, or even led him to think that?

Are you presenting online as a minor, or as someone who might be a minor?

I don't want to accuse you of anything, so my apologies if I have put two and two together here, and got 22. But if you're not a minor, but are presenting in online dating sites as a minor, you really can't go to the authorities about this.

Look up Dark Justice, a Newcastle duo that go around doing this. They don't have full cooperation with the Police but all of their stings have lead to arrests.

Witchie · 12-11-2015 9:22am

keithclancy wrote: »

That was your mistake right there, lots of weirdos in that America place.

You sure it's the same guy ? Lots of people have the same name.

Absolutely sure it's him. Same name, same address, same photos, and he had told me lived in Jamaica for a while and that was noted on one of the reports. Also he had told me about his free sex ways, one of the things we had laughed and joked about.

Peregrinus wrote: »

Wait a minute. You're not a minor, but when you wanted to break off contact with this guy one of the explanations you offered him was "my mum will ask questions"?

Does he think you're a minor?

Does he think you're a minor because you have let him think that, or even led him to think that?

Are you presenting online as a minor, or as someone who might be a minor?

I don't want to accuse you of anything, so my apologies if I have put two and two together here, and got 22. But if you're not a minor, but are presenting in online dating sites as a minor, you really can't go to the authorities about this. This behaviour is classic paedophile-trolling-for-victims behaviour. I'm sure that's not your intention, but can't you see how it would look from someone else's perspective? Absolutely do not ever do this, or do anything that could remotely be misconstrued as doing this.

In no way did I mislead him, I may look young but it states clearly my age on my profile plus we talked about my age and my adult sons.

I panicked when I realised what he was and just said that coz he was a lot older my mum would ask questions I wasn't prepared to answer yet to use as my excuse for unfriending him. So basically I do not appreciate you accusing me of any impropriety.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 12-11-2015 9:36am

I wouldn't worry about it. He has your email address but so what. If your that concerned then change it and/or block his. If he contacts you again tell him you know who he is and will report him to the US authorities if he continues to try and contact you. I'm guessing he's already forgotten about you and has moved into someone else or has plenty of other potential candidates on the go. Don't stress too much, you've nothing to worry about.

Witchie · 12-11-2015 9:40am

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I wouldn't worry about it. He has your email address but so what. If your that concerned then change it and/or block his. If he contacts you again tell him you know who he is and will report him to the US authorities if he continues to try and contact you. I'm guessing he's already forgotten about you and has moved into someone else or has plenty of other potential candidates on the go. Don't stress too much, you've nothing to worry about.

Just feel so guilty that I may have allowed him into my circle of friends and put their kids at risk. I have some friends in Florida and some live in the area he was convicted in. That was why we got talking pretty much.

I have blocked his email and posted a warning on fb as well as reporting him there and on the site I met him on. It's all I can do.

jamesbere · 12-11-2015 9:54am

It's a bit strange that he's using a dating website considering he's a known pedophile, I mean most people would do a Google search on anyone once they've their name. But I suppose he'll probably catch someone out eventually.

NachoBusiness · 12-11-2015 9:57am

You'd think Sting would have enough to do with all the singing and all.

Micky Dolenz · 12-11-2015 10:01am

How old is he?

Micky Dolenz · 12-11-2015 10:02am

NachoBusiness wrote: »

You'd think Sting would have enough to do with all the singing and all.

Ah come on, you know he was with the Police.

Witchie · 12-11-2015 10:29am

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

How old is he?

He is 60. It's weird that I even spoke to him voz I am all about the younger guys but I made a comment slagging him and we started talking.

I think, coz am hoping to move over there next year that I let my guard down a little and was thinking of building up more of a network of people I know.

kunst nugget · 12-11-2015 10:33am

StewartGriffin wrote: »

Yeah, that has me scratching my head as well…

Witchie · 12-11-2015 10:44am

kunst nugget wrote: »

Yeah, that has me scratching my head as well…

What has you confused exactly?
I explained that I panicked and didn't want him knowing why I was unfriending him so told him I didn't want questions from my mother. Some of us are friends with our parents online you know.

suicide_circus · 12-11-2015 10:46am

Take a seat...

Hammer89 · 12-11-2015 12:23pm

Send him a picture of yourself wearing tights. Paedophiles don't like that apparently. It makes them softer than Niall Horan throwing a roll of Charmin at Daniel O'Donnell.

Sheeps · 12-11-2015 12:28pm

The poor fella.

ScumLord · 12-11-2015 12:30pm

Witchie wrote: »

In no way did I mislead him, I may look young

If you can pass for a minor at 41, I want a loan of your anti-aging cream.

Sheeps · 12-11-2015 12:32pm

This sex offender has made a change to his ways, and started looking to date mature women of his own age. The first woman he meets and connects with reports him to the FBI because of his past with out bring it up for discussion. The sex offender no longer trusts women of his own age and goes back to fingering children.

The OP is responsible.

asherbassad · 12-11-2015 1:13pm

Witchie wrote: »

Smash am 42. Lol.

You're 42 and your "mum will ask questions" ??

Who are you, Norma Bates?

kylith · 12-11-2015 1:23pm

What'll the cops do exactly? You're going to report him for what? Talking to you, a grown adult? Being friendly and personable? Not prefixing every state any with 'As a peadiohile...?'

etoughguy · 12-11-2015 1:24pm

FanadMan wrote: »

Report him to FB? They mightn't want him online.

add an I and report him to the FBI too

OneOfThem · 12-11-2015 1:28pm

I love you Witchie, but I think you're being pretty melodramatic. You spoke briefly to him on a dating site, you didn't ship your nieces and nephews off to spend the summer with him in his cabin in the woods.

Do nothing. Forget about it. Nothing happened.

JohnnyChimpo · 12-11-2015 1:30pm

kylith wrote: »

peadiohile

Did you even try, mate?

kylith · 12-11-2015 1:33pm

JohnnyChimpo wrote: »

Did you even try, mate?

No

Paramite Pie · 12-11-2015 1:38pm

Witchie wrote: »

Just feel so guilty that I may have allowed him into my circle of friends and put their kids at risk. I have some friends in Florida and some live in the area he was convicted in. That was why we got talking pretty much.

I have blocked his email and posted a warning on fb as well as reporting him there and on the site I met him on. It's all I can do.

Did you post the warning publicly or specifically to certain people? Some people just skim these posts, so if they're in that vicinity then I'd suggest sending the warning to their inbox if you haven't already.

Also did you have any mutual friends on FB?

Witchie · 12-11-2015 2:36pm

ScumLord wrote: »

If you can pass for a minor at 41, I want a loan of your anti-aging cream.

Ha ha now am not that young looking but often get told I pass for late 20's early 30's. It was me that started talking to him so he wasn't trying to hit on me as a minor.

Sheeps wrote: »

This sex offender has made a change to his ways, and started looking to date mature women of his own age. The first woman he meets and connects with reports him to the FBI because of his past with out bring it up for discussion. The sex offender no longer trusts women of his own age and goes back to fingering children.

The OP is responsible.

Stop it! Am almost 20 years younger than him (he turns 61 next month), I didn't report him to the FBI and I really don't want to discuss what he did with kids as he was convicted so that is enough for me.

kylith wrote: »

What'll the cops do exactly? You're going to report him for what? Talking to you, a grown adult? Being friendly and personable? Not prefixing every state any with 'As a peadiohile...?'

No, I didn't report him to cops/FBI. I reported him on the dating site and Facebook as both have policies of not having sex offenders on their sites.

But also from reading about his case, his modus operandi seems to be to befriend the parent and get to the child, he knew I had kids, didn't know they are both adults until late last night, so he may have been trying to fish.

etoughguy wrote: »

add an I and report him to the FBI too

No coz he did nothing wrong to me. They know where he is as his address is easily found on one of those "There is a sex offender living beside you" websites that Florida is fond of.

OneOfThem wrote: »

I love you Witchie, but I think you're being pretty melodramatic. You spoke briefly to him on a dating site, you didn't ship your nieces and nephews off to spend the summer with him in his cabin in the woods.

Do nothing. Forget about it. Nothing happened.

I think I just got a shock that someone who seemed so nice would have such a dark past and it gave me a major wake up call about trusting people. I have decided to step away from dating sites after a number of mad experiences with married men, users, losers and now a paedo.

I am also a little concerned that I may have exposed some of my friends, particularly those living near him, to him during our brief 30 mins or so of fb friendship. I don't think I did, but I do feel bad in case I did. If anything happens one of their kids/grandkids coz of this, I will feel responsible.

Paramite Pie wrote: »

Did you post the warning publicly or specifically to certain people? Some people just skim these posts, so if they're in that vicinity then I'd suggest sending the warning to their inbox if you haven't already.

Also did you have any mutual friends on FB?

I made a public post. A few people have shared it and others have responded to it. I will send a specific message to my mates in the area.

So I think I just invited a paedophile into my life...

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