Difficult Colleague

ddtimeuk

Just looking for some advice on dealing with a difficult work colleague.

I manage a large team who despite a fairly mixed bag of personalities and abilities - on the whole works well together and there is a good atmosphere and co-operation amongst everyone. Save for one individual who is perpetually miserable ! I am really at my wits end with her. This lady has worked for the company for 10 years or so and is a constant source of arguments and conflict. She constantly bad mouths colleagues or management and is only happy when her every whim is being catered for. I have tried several approaches with - compassion, frankness, tough love approach and nothing at all seems to be working.

My biggest issue is that the minute you approach anything at all with her - she starts to cry uncontrollably and the whole meeting descends into a cry fest where we are not really focusing on the heart of the issues. She will then throw in the odd remark about being stressed out with the job. The thing is that owing to past difficulties with her - her workload has been reduced significantly to that of her colleagues so by no stretch of the imagination is she in any way overburdened with work. If she does not get her own way ( ie annual leave, flexible working times) she will throw an almighty strop and act like a six year old. Ironically when she is not causing trouble of some form or another - she is generally a good worker -has good ability and aptitude.

I have in the past thought that she was lacking motivation so I tried to outline a progression plan and spoke to her about various routes to get to the next level and she just dismissed it all and said that promotions within the company were all an inside job blah blah blah ..... . At team meetings her only contribution is to say something negative. She refuses to take part in any work projects outside her everyday work and then a few months later will say she was unfairly excluded. She hates to see anyone else being praised and if someone is publicly applauded in anyway she will spend the next few days to go out of her way to highlight something negative about that person. To be honest she just prefers to be miserable as it allows her ample opportunity to vent on a daily basis! Which is fine - except I have a team to run and she is really causing a lot of tension for various reasons.

My gut instinct is that she is not stressed with the job but is unhappy with her personal life and that its the job that bears the brunt of it ( nothing major in her personal life - I just think she is unhappy with her lot in life )

I know people may suggest exiting her in one form or another however given that her work is on semi acceptable level - this would be easier said than done - I don't think I would have much HR support in trying to exit someone just because they are a misery ! Advice welcome !

The Pheasant2

She cries in front of everyone? Jesus that is so unprofessional...tbh OP she sounds like a pain in the arse - you need to consider the effect her disruptions have on everyone else's work as well as the negative/toxic attitude she seems to bring to work (this can really damage the functioning of a team).

I know you've said you don't want to exit her due to her decent work but I'd be having a very frank discussion with her. Her behaviour is unacceptable and she can either address that or you can find somebody else who can do a decent job without the drama.

ScottStorm

How about increasing her workload back to a par with her colleagues and demanding the same performance, also stop making special arrangements for her. From what you've said she's bound to crack up, when she complains of being stressed send her to the company gp to have her signed off for stress.

Hopefully that would be the last you see of her.

*not legal advice

Stheno

I'd be putting her on a performance improvement plan tbh

seamus

Crying in a meeting? Seriously, as soon as that happened, I'd be pulling her into a 1:1 meeting to see what's wrong and to suggest to her that she takes time off.

The quality of her work is somewhat less important. "Never hire a brilliant asshole", a HR guy once said to me, and it's one of the best pieces of work advice I've ever gotten. There's no point in having one person whose work is 100% when they drag five other people's work down to 50%.

Talk to your HR department about her, with a view to pushing her to take a leave of absence while she sorts herself out. It's either that or you begin a disciplinary process.

I'd be inclined to view the whinging and emotion less as actual unhappiness and more as emotional manipulation. She knows that the more emotionally fragile and unstable she appears, the less likely you are to take a hard line with her. This is work, not a creche, don't treat her with kid gloves.

ddtimeuk

Thanks all for the response

I should clarify - that although it is not unknown for her to cry at a team meeting , for the most part the crying will take place in a 1:1 meeting such as a performance review.

Seamus your point about the emotional manipulation is spot on - that's exactly what it's all about and unfortunately the reality of the situation is that this is exactly what happens as when the crying starts its very difficult to maintain a hard line - as then you are going hell for leather on a somewhat "vulnerable" employee !. She has honestly started crying within 30 seconds of a review starting , and said she didn't really know why she was crying - she just found the whole review situation stressful !

I myself am female and have very little tolerance of the helpless woman act. I should also point out that she has also been like this with male managers before me - probably more so !

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Put her workload back up to what's expected of her in her role. If she's unable to cope with that she's not fit to perform the nessessary duties. She's not irreplaceable

irishgrover

Personally I would commence by fully documenting all instances of where you believe that the individual is not performing to her expected/contracted performance levels. When doing this thoroughly reacquaint yourself with her employment contract, all HR policies etc that she should be measured against.
After a period of time 4 - 8 weeks have an informal sit down with your own manager and ensure they are aware of the situation and instigate an improvement plan. Ensure that HR are directly involved and are present when you communicate the plan to the individual. Ensure that you document and communicate required improved behaviour and the what the employee needs to do, timescales etc. (Your hr team should have a process for all this). Frequently meet with the individual during this process, at all times ensure a third party from hr are present.
At the end of the process you will hopefully have an employee meeting expected standards or an employee who is closer to ending their employment with your company.

This is a serious process and you have a professional duty of care to the employee. However you also have a professional duty of care to the rest of your team and to the wider company.
Put the individual in charge of her own destiny, using the same standards as your company expects from all their employees and ultimately it is the responsibility of the individual to decide their own fait.
Good luck

_Brian

Two possible approaches.

1. Stick with the status quo. Leave her be and work around her as best you can.

2. Manage her out the door. Apply the systems at hand to escalate her through The discipline system and terminate her. This takes a thick skin but it can be done, sounds like a bit if crying would be expected. Just a matter of finding an angle be that timekeeping, absence, work errors and developing it from there.

LegacyUser

Hi Ddtimeuk,

You have my sympathy dealing with a woman like this working for you.
Because of her attitude along with what she is doing and saying your having tensions and problems with the rest of the team.

At this stage you can't let things go on as they are. The reality is she is not willing to do her job and she is causing problems with the rest of the staff. I would be speaking to hr and letting them know what she is like. At this stage I would tell them what you have done to help her over the past few years. I would get there agreement to put her on a performance improvement plan. Meet with her regually with a hr person present. Start to put up her work load over a period of time say 2 to 3 months. Let her know in writing what is expected of her.
Keep an eye on her time keeping, don't let her have the flex working hours always, her work errors, tell her she can't have holidays on x date as they are already booked and keep note of all absences.
The reality is that if you follow the above over a few months you could be in a position to work her out of the company unless she makes the changes your require.

I have a feeling that the other staff will begin to notice that you are making changes with her. They will see that she has more work to do. By doing this you showing them that she is no longer getting away with doing less work, the complaining ect. This should lead to less tension with them.

The reality is that from what you told us you sound like a decent manager. You have a good team of people working for you except this person. She has 2 choices at this stage shape up or change jobs.

Wanderer2010

Its about time you called this sly womans bluff once and for all. Set up a meeting with the two of you and tell her that, in light of the number of complaints, crying a negative comments, that you are very concerned that this job is not right for her and she is wasting her potential in this position,

In other words, ask her would she be happier looking for another job as she is clearly (as per the tantrums etc) unhappy and that you will help her look for another job and give he a great reference. She will either start copping on and working properly or she will realise her game is up and look elsewhere.

the_syco

ddtimeuk wrote: »

I should clarify - that although it is not unknown for her to cry at a team meeting , for the most part the crying will take place in a 1:1 meeting such as a performance review.

Include HR in all such meetings going forward.

If she throws a tantrum over annual leave, refer her to HR.

Bring her back to the same level of work as everyone else, and if she is not doing her workload up to par, go the disciplinary route, again with HR.

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

ISet up a meeting with the two of you and tell her that, in light of the number of complaints, crying a negative comments

With the two of you plus HR.

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

that you are very concerned that this job is not right for her and she is wasting her potential in this position

Advise against this, as she could use an increased workload and this talk as "constructive dismissal". I generally find a certain sort of lazy worker knows their rights more than you may.