Saying no when it comes to presents

LegacyUser

Hi guys.
Posting anonymous here as I don't want to out myself as a mean parent!
I'm just wondering how you go about explaining about the man in red and how he can't bring every present a child asks for!
Child is 3 and sees some ads. They've expressed a want for a few toys, just small ones but now they've seen a toy that costs around 80 euro and not only that but you buy all the characters to go with it separately!!
It gets decent reviews but I just see it as a big lump of rip off plastic!?
How do I say no, I wouldn't mind paying for a good toy but the fact there's so many ad ons... Ugh.
Santa can't bring them all how do I say this to a child who's understanding santa for the first time?

pwurple

3 is starting young! very decisive child!

You've a few options I guess., and I don't think explaining is going to cut it.

Hope they forget about it.
Divert to something else.

Ps, maybe drop the advertising where you can. There are ad-free children's tv channels. Also Netflix, YouTube. Or be like a ninja on the remote control when a break comes on.

acia

I have a 3 year old who wants everything that pops up on tv or he sees on shelf in shop for Christmas, when he asks can Santa bring it I say 'yes ask Santa for it' 5 mins later he's completely forgotten about it!!!
I also did this with my now 11 year old when he was small and he would also forget about all the things he wanted by the time Christmas comes along as he was busy playing with what Santa did bring!

RentDayBlues

Paw patrol by any chance?? I've explained to my 3 year old that santa has to bring gifts for everyone and while he will try to bring what she asks for he may not be able.

On the day, they'll be so happy with what they get they will forget. And if not, saw this is another thread, a note left on the actual gift from santa to say he was all out of the requested gift

If they are used to getting every things they want all ways, you have a problem. If they are not, you do not

Moonbeam

Mine are paw patrol obsessed.

They are 6,4,2 and 1.(7,5 and 3 in Jan)
They don't tend to ask for anything crazy though the eldest wants a kindle or sewing machine this year.
I tend to spend 50/60 euro each on them and they have so far got what they wanted but it has been easy to date.
The 2 year old wants a lego Thomas and maybe a Percy:)

cyning

If it's that stupid paw patrol yoke you have my sympathy

What I've told my three year old who not only wants but NEEDS everything is that you can ask Santy for only two small things because he has to get toys for everybody... And if your very good he will bring surprises too. It's half working because she's currently going through the Smyths catalogue saying I can only have two things: and is trying to convince her sister who can't talk to ask santy for the other things she wants

Das Kitty

My 5 year old wants that stupidly expensive Light Sabre builder thing. I asked him what he would even do with it. His answer: Pose with it.

I'm taking him to Smyths on Saturday and I'll begin the process of mind changing.

Rose35

My 3 year old is not expressing much interest in Santa, we have flicked through the smyths catalogue and his only interest is in tractors, diggers etc.
Now, he only watches RTE JUNIOR which has no ads so is probably not exposed to much advertisments. He also likes Paw Patrol, must check out that toy ye guys are talking about.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Some of the lump of plastic toys are a shocking price! Remember the peppa pig weebles toys last year? They were EVERYWHERE in the lead up to xmas and were nothing more than overpriced branded plastic. We lost the disney jr channel when we switched from upc to sky so we only watch ad free cbeebies now, it's great

When I was a child, my mother would order all of the toys in September and put them on lay away until Christmas. She picked things that looked useful and were good value. She would then begin the 4 month systematic brainwashing to convince us that we actually wanted what she had picked :pac:

LegacyUser

Yes it's Paw Patrol haha how did you guess

Thanks for all the tips,
Child is usually very good about not getting what they want all the time, sharing, good at picking presents for others etc
I had planned on going with the surprise route but the child has a tendency to mentally fill in what the surprise is!!
I think the ads will have to go alright, on demand and the radio for the next few weeks I think!!

godtabh

We are the same. Every ad he wants unless there is pink in it. Doesnt like pink toys.

We have most off his presents bought. Any time he sees it on TV we play it up and he'll think its his idea. Sounds bad but my mother told me thats how she did it when we were young. He will be writing to santy for one big on and a 2 surprises.

seamus

Decide on what is the most that Santy can bring, and make that the party line. "You can't have X, Y and Z because Santy doesn't have enough room in his sleigh" or whatever.

Then do the letter. Have them write the letter and lock in what they're getting. Even at 3 they'll be able to understand this. If they really lose the plot then closer to Xmas about a toy you can explain that the letter has already been sent and Santy is so busy it's too late to change it. Sounds complicated, but they'll easily accept it.

I think at this age they tend to obsess less about specific presents, and they're happier with a theme. Ours is 3 this Xmas - she understood Xmas last year to a certain extent, but this year she properly gets it. But even so, it's been more, "I want Frozen toys and a dolly", rather than, "I want the Hasbro 16" talk-to-me Elsa, and nothing else will do".
Her stuff has been sitting in the attic for two months already (my wife is well prepared ), so the conversations around toys have been carefully curated to guide her towards what's already been bought.

If there really is something last minute that they're losing the plot over, you can make that their Xmas present from Mum & Dad.

iguana

Karen Large Sty wrote: »

When I was a child, my mother would order all of the toys in September and put them on lay away until Christmas. She picked things that looked useful and were good value. She would then begin the 4 month systematic brainwashing to convince us that we actually wanted what she had picked :pac:

I bought S's main present secondhand in April so he is big time brainwashed at this stage.:eek: Of course I picked something that I could see he absolutely loved and was just at the beginning of loving when I bought it, so he'd only love it more and more as Christmas approached. But the spasms of awe and delight I enact every time we see it in Smyths/Argos/Toy'r'us are probably eyebrow raising to anyone nearby.:pac:

Thankfully there are only two other things he has expressed interest in getting for Christmas. One is something that he is getting as a surprise and the other is the Hot Wheels Volcano Blaster set which for some reason he is obsessed with but he got a Gormitti Volcano playset for his birthday and that seems to have satisfied his volcano craving.

I remember ho my parents used to divert me from something I wanted that they really didn't want to get me. Step 1, which I don't know if they did on purpose or not, was to talk amongst themselves about how rubbish something was when the ad came on. This was super effective because they weren't telling me something I loved was rubbish, so I didn't argue back I just started to think that it must be rubbish if that was their mutual opinion. Step 2, was to explain to me that the item was over-priced and not very good at what it was supposed to be while having a better alternative to convince me of the merit of. The main example I remember was that I really wanted the Fisher Price 3 stages skates one year but was instead convinced that I actually preferred proper, rubber wheeled, sports skates.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Were they the skates that strapped to your shoes? I asked santa for them one year and my parents made a big deal about how the rubber soled ones were for the big girls etc. Woke up xmas morning and found that santa had brought me the big girl ones by accident and I was thrilled but very worried that my parents wouldn't let me use them because I wasn't big enough :pac: My little boy is nearly 2 so he won't understand a whole lot this year but I can't wait until next year when we can really have fun with it

tickingclock

cyning wrote: »

If it's that stupid paw patrol yoke you have my sympathy

What I've told my three year old who not only wants but NEEDS everything is that you can ask Santy for only two small things because he has to get toys for everybody... And if your very good he will bring surprises too. It's half working because she's currently going through the Smyths catalogue saying I can only have two things: and is trying to convince her sister who can't talk to ask santy for the other things she wants

That's hilarious. Good thinking on the child's part to get her sister in on the toys!

cyning

tickingclock wrote: »

That's hilarious. Good thinking on the child's part to get her sister in on the toys!

She's well out of luck Santy is bringing her sister a doll and pram and singing dancing penguin

Diamond Doll

When I was young, we were encouraged to ask Santa for a list of presents, on the understanding that we'd only get one of them plus a "surprise".

What generally happened was that we'd end up getting maybe 2-3 of those presents, but those and the surprise present would be so good that we'd completely forget about all the other things we'd had on our list.

Of course, you could always just steer them towards a different present, and tell them they can ask for the other present "next Christmas" ... chances are they'll have well moved on by then!

dori_dormer

We got to ask for 2 presents and a surprise. My mum would always steer us towards different things and shed win out! Lists were always written first weekend in nov. Then they were set in stone, no changes allowed!

I remmeber one year wanting a push along yapping dog, and my mum was adamant that santa wouldn't bring it as I was too old (7) I was devastated but didn't put it on my list, but regretted it all the way to christmas. We all went to my granny's xmas day and who's ther but my cousin (8.5) with the bloody yapping dog! I was inconsolable and completely blamed my mum. Bought the dog with my communion money the following year but it wasn't the same.

So long story short - don't pusuade your child out of certain toys before talking to relatives first!

LegacyUser

Oh Dori_dormer thats so lousy!! Was the dog called scamp by any chance?
Cousins getting things is another minefield and another thread I think!

My child pays a lot of attention to details on things and is all about "why" like a lot of small kids are.
Last year in the run up they saw toy X in Tesco. I'd already bought toy Y which is very very similar. They asked and I said maybe santa will bring one like it... Rookie mistake does a 2 year old know the difference between similar and the same!! Anyway Christmas morning after all the presents are opened "hmmm... No toy X
.." And they continued on playing. Loves Toy Y. Not remotely upset or disappointed but noticed.

and I'm not sure they see the difference between big and Little toys (or cheap v expensive) and while I do point out about money
Eg
"but why can't I have that toy?"
"because I don't have enough money and you got x toy a few weeks ago remember? "
"Oh yea!! "
I don't want to be constantly droning on about it either!
I suppose With santa (seeing as we're sharing our own experiences!) I vividly remember running into my dad after "writing" my letter aged 4-5 saying "guess what I'm getting for Christmas?! " and being stopped dead in my tracks "you can't say ' I'm getting ' because you don't know you're getting it or not, santa mightnt bring it, so you can say you want it"
After that I didn't really feel like telling him what I wanted, I felt bad and greedy for wanting it. "santas not made of money " was another one of his gems.
Now he wasn't being mean of course, just his delivery wasn't great. My child is a thinker and I reckon they'll figure the whole santa gig pretty soon so I want to make the most of these years BUT without spoiling them OR making them guilty!! I understand I'm overthinking this a lot

Thanks again everyone for your tips and sharing your memories!

cbyrd

My 5 year old says 'can I have that??' to EVERY ad on tv. I say ' sure you can ' and this goes on religiously every day.. The hilarious thing is now the 4 year old is getting involved saying 'but you won't share it! ' so to combat this the 5 year old is saying ' can I have that, and yes I will share it! '
They're funny,
My other half tried explaining how they can't have everything, he couldn't understand why I said yes to everything.
He gets it now!
He was explaining 50 times a day!
It's like wishful thinking for them, not being greedy, like me going into my favourite shop wanting everything. There's no harm.
They do understand that they get what santa brings. Ain't got nuttin to do with me!
Put it on your santa list
Put it on your birthday list
You're the grown up. you have the control!

Sound Bite

I don't have kids but when we were young we were always told not to be disappointed if we didn't get what we wanted and that Santa had to bring presents to the sick and less fortunate children first.

Santa always visited the hospitals first and they got the best presents. The sick children definitely got my Mr Frosty one year!

We never questioned it!

LegacyUser

growing up we were told we'd get one big thing and two small things from santa,


like yours our child wants everything she see's in every ad on tv,

if it's something i have no chance of buying, i dismiss it in a positive way and as truthfully as i can be, kind of like that ad for that helicopter in a ball that "rolls" along the roof (disney xd is advertising it)
she asked for it so i said "yes you can ask santa for it but remember when dad had the helicopter and it spend more time charging than flying, that wasn't much fun"

or last year with Snow glow elsa, i pointed out how the bigger doll was for toddlers and the little barbie sized ones were for 5 year olds due to the small pieces.

with a 3 year old i think an easier explanation is: "Santa can bring one big thing and one small thing and a surprise" this also gets you out of the price dilemma, as in if something is expensive but tiny thats still the "big" thing because it's "big" money for santa to make...

every-time they say "i want that" tell them to add it to their mental list and then when the time comes to write the list/letter to Santa you'll narrow it down to what santa can only bring (1 big + 1 small) added to this we steer her towards what we've already bought and you get the "perfect" christmas where they get "everything" they wanted or asked for

with them only essentially picking two things out of their big long mental list it teaches them to weigh up their options and usually the crap plastic stuff gets dropped for the exciting thing you've been telling them about, and you get the luxury to pick and choose what other "bits" to get them, (so if something on their list is a great toy and only €20 you might throw it in amongst the "surprise" part.

Paddy Cow

cyning wrote: »

If it's that stupid paw patrol yoke you have my sympathy

What I've told my three year old who not only wants but NEEDS everything is that you can ask Santy for only two small things because he has to get toys for everybody... And if your very good he will bring surprises too. It's half working because she's currently going through the Smyths catalogue saying I can only have two things: and is trying to convince her sister who can't talk to ask santy for the other things she wants

That's brilliant! You definitely won't have to worry about her being naive and taken advantage of when she's older. She's very sharp

Bigmeanie wrote: »

and I'm not sure they see the difference between big and Little toys (or cheap v expensive)

When my sister was young, she had a fiver and asked my mother to get her a lego set when she was in town. The set my mother got probably cost about 30 or 40 quid and when she gave it to my sister, my sister demanded her change :pac:

xalot

Sound Bite wrote: »

I don't have kids but when we were young we were always told not to be disappointed if we didn't get what we wanted and that Santa had to bring presents to the sick and less fortunate children first.

Santa always visited the hospitals first and they got the best presents. The sick children definitely got my Mr Frosty one year!

We never questioned it!

That's fabulous, will definitely be using that in the future.