I was suspended and not given chance to redeem myself

tonyheaney

When I was in senior infants I remember my teacher doing some no how shall I say non-legal stuff to us kids. Such examples as using boxing tape to stick us to chairs and sending us out of the class for the entire class and missing essential learning if we were naughty. All this came up in a chat with a few old friends and up to now through it was just a distorted memory and that it surely couldn't have happened. while it wasn't good for us, and some of us were naughty and may have deserved chastising I am glad it wasn't just me.

MOVE forward to secondary school and only a few months into year one and I was permanently suspended for scraping some teachers cars doors with something sharp. it was pretty bad I am told.

while I would have loved to have done this to a certain two teachers I actually didn't do it. but I was being bullied at the time and tried to keep myself to myself. the kids in question were the ones that reported me and i was brought in to the office for questioning. so were they. we had to do an essay of what happened, (or at least I was told I had to.)

I was promptly taken to the gate and told to never return.

My life was ruined as a result, my education suffered and today I am not where I should be in life as a result of that incident.. don't get me wrong, I am married now and happily with two wonderful kids.

there was no official investigation into what happened, I was never given a fair chance to prove my innocence and I was just wondering if I could do something about it.

sorry for the waffle but it's taken me a log time to properly come to terms with it and get this on paper.

lifeandtimes

tonyheaney wrote: »

When I was in senior infants I remember my teacher doing some no how shall I say non-legal stuff to us kids. Such examples as using boxing tape to stick us to chairs and sending us out of the class for the entire class and missing essential learning if we were naughty. All this came up in a chat with a few old friends and up to now through it was just a distorted memory and that it surely couldn't have happened. while it wasn't good for us, and some of us were naughty and may have deserved chastising I am glad it wasn't just me.

MOVE forward to secondary school and only a few months into year one and I was permanently suspended for scraping some teachers cars doors with something sharp. it was pretty bad I am told.

while I would have loved to have done this to a certain two teachers I actually didn't do it. but I was being bullied at the time and tried to keep myself to myself. the kids in question were the ones that reported me and i was brought in to the office for questioning. so were they. we had to do an essay of what happened, (or at least I was told I had to.)

I was promptly taken to the gate and told to never return.

My life was ruined as a result, my education suffered and today I am not where I should be in life as a result of that incident.. don't get me wrong, I am married now and happily with two wonderful kids.

there was no official investigation into what happened, I was never given a fair chance to prove my innocence and I was just wondering if I could do something about it.

sorry for the waffle but it's taken me a log time to properly come to terms with it and get this on paper.

I genuinely don't how a 12 or 13 year old child can be suspended from secondary school in their first year,for a first offense, with no evidence what so ever other than the word of two other students,not given the chance to pay for damage and who's parents didn't put up a fight.

Surely there must be some further information you can provide because what you stated seems a bit far fetched and there may be more to the story

LegacyUser

I'm not sure what to say, apart from the very easy version - there's nothing you can do about is, as far as I can see. I do sympathise, my background has a similar theme, was "lifted" by the armed forces in the North when I was 16 (& an extremely naïve, innocent and ignorant of the Troubles child I was) Interrogated, tortured into confessions which were double dutch to me then finally released, got expelled for bringing the school into disrepute, I thought they were going to come to my rescue ! put onto a plane to the Uk and had to make my way from there on. My education was destroyed. After years of drinking too much etc (it was a very brutal spell of torture) I just had to get my act together and studied at night while working finally getting into a job I loved. But the mental scars have never gone and as I got older I let the anger go although that got replaced by a sadness. I know my life could and should have been better but equally I made the best of a bad lot. I lived in parts of the world I could never have believed I'd ever see, I've said hello, and goodbye, to some of the most amazing people but I never got any stability, ever. Nothing I can do about it. If I ever got the opportunity to enjoy myself I grabbed it with both hands so there's no regrets there, I did live, but remember even those who never experienced anything but " the normal path " are not exempt from illness, troubles and grief.

Ursus Horribilis

This all sounds awfully familiar. Have you posted about this before?

Edit: I see you have. At least once. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=68796811

Listen, I'm sorry this stuff happened to you but you've got to learn to let this go. You posted about this FIVE years ago. You're now 38 years of age so you've been carrying this around with you for more than half your adult life. What steps have you taken to get over this? You can't change what happened but you're letting this poison you. If you've not done so already, I suggest you seek professional help.

tonyheaney

lifeandtimes wrote: »

I genuinely don't how a 12 or 13 year old child can be suspended from secondary school in their first year,for a first offense, with no evidence what so ever other than the word of two other students,not given the chance to pay for damage and who's parents didn't put up a fight.

Surely there must be some further information you can provide because what you stated seems a bit far fetched and there may be more to the story

No that's pretty much it. The gods honest truth. There was no compo paid to any teacher that I know of, believe me if there was I wouldn't be alive today, my dad was a bit of an ogre and if he had to pay I'd be dead.

Saying that I went back a few years later as I wanted to get into nursing this was a few months after my dad was killed in an RTA and the principle told me and I quote F%@~!!f Heaney before I call the cops, you will never amount to anything"

so that more or less destroyed any inkling I might have had at bettering myself.

tonyheaney

Odus fell down wrote: »

This all sounds very familiar. Have you posted about this before?

I might have I really don't remember, but I keep coming back to the issue as every now and again i kind of bad dreams and whatever. Its starting to bug me now and with 2 kids of my own I would like to resolve it now sooner than later.

I actually had a very bad health scare recently, ended up in hospital wires hanging out of me like some kind of human/super computer hybrid and it made me think if i die then people would think I did do it but I didn't.

Ursus Horribilis

So have you ever sought counselling or professional help for it? It's consuming you and that's no good for anyone.

tonyheaney

Odus fell down wrote: »

This all sounds awfully familiar. Have you posted about this before?

Edit: I see you have. At least once. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=68796811

Listen, I'm sorry this stuff happened to you but you've got to learn to let this go. You posted about this FIVE years ago. You're now 38 years of age so you've been carrying this around with you for more than half your adult life. What steps have you taken to get over this? You can't change what happened but you're letting this poison you. If you've not done so already, I suggest you seek professional help.

thanks for finding the link for me, to be honest i wouldn't be able to afford it. But i did get a bit of flack from some people who more or less told me to stop going all boo hoo and grow the fcuk up and i just walked away from that. many comments were deleted and a lot of piss taken. But its not easy to let go.

tonyheaney

tonyheaney wrote: »

I might have I really don't remember, but I keep coming back to the issue as every now and again i kind of bad dreams and whatever. Its starting to bug me now and with 2 kids of my own I would like to resolve it now sooner than later.

I actually had a very bad health scare recently, ended up in hospital wires hanging out of me like some kind of human/super computer hybrid and it made me think if i die then people would think I did do it but I didn't.

no as money is the issue course saying that a hefty lotto win and id be there ina flash

Ursus Horribilis

I think there's a sticky here for low-cost counselling. If you're on a medical card you might be able to get it for free. Maybe talk to your GP. I think you really need to talk to someone and let this go. Otherwise you'll still be obsessed by this in 20 years time and blaming it on everything that has gone wrong in your life.

The Princess Bride

Tony.
You really do need to speak to a professional about this..You've carried it around for too long and although it was horrible the way you were treated, it has to be left in the past and you have to focus on your future.

€50-60 for a session with a counsellor. Yes it's a lot of money but it could be the best you'll ever spend.
As a once off even just to get it off your chest and see what's recommended.
No?

ElleEm

In an ideal scenario, what would you like to happen?
Over 20 years ago, you had an obstacle put in your way but you could have overcome this to do nursing/ whatever you wanted to do. You are fixating on something that you cannot change, but you are also blaming this incident on your life being how it is. You should really look into low cost counselling. It is not healthy to be so caught up with something that happened when you were a child.

Merkin

As you have already opened a thread on this and it's evidently enough of an issue to cause sleep disturbance and anxiety then it is probably best that you invoke the help of a professional who will be able to give you the help you need. Best of luck OP, I hope you find peace re this particular issue.