Statement of Means

tmalmb

Going through a separation and applications for maintenance. My Ex is lying on her statements, does anyone know what options are available to challenge...my solicitor wasn't very helpful

thanks

desbrook

tmalmb wrote: »

Going through a separation and applications for maintenance. My Ex is lying on her statements, does anyone know what options are available to challenge...my solicitor wasn't very helpful

thanks

Are you going to court or working out a separation agreement?

tmalmb

Its all in court at the moment :-/

desbrook

tmalmb wrote: »

Its all in court at the moment :-/

Judicial separation in the circuit court ?

braceface

I was asked to back everything up with Bank Statements, letters from creche, payslips etc. What are they lying about?

tmalmb

desbrook wrote: »

Judicial separation in the circuit court ?

No we are still in District (very early in the process)

tmalmb

braceface wrote: »

I was asked to back everything up with Bank Statements, letters from creche, payslips etc. What are they lying about?

everything really, her income, her savings, her outgoings.

It seems no-one cares as the focus seems to be on my earnings

tmalmb

Does anyone have experience on spousal maintenance (I'm ok with child maintenance) but I have a real issue with my ex's demands for personal maintenance (which are ridiculous)

Stheno

tmalmb wrote: »

Does anyone have experience on spousal maintenance (I'm ok with child maintenance) but I have a real issue with my ex's demands for personal maintenance (which are ridiculous)

Have you read the attached link?

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/maintenance_orders_and_agreements.html

tmalmb

I did read it but it isn't very clear...I get that according to Irish Law there is a provision for spousal maintenance but I still have an issue that she is completely lying on her means which surely has to stand for something in the court agreement on her personal maintenance

Stheno

tmalmb wrote: »

I did read it but it isn't very clear...I get that according to Irish Law there is a provision for spousal maintenance but I still have an issue that she is completely lying on her means which surely has to stand for something in the court agreement on her personal maintenance

Then you need to bring that up with your solicitor and ask them to get full clarification of her declaration from her solicitor/the judge in court.

desbrook

tmalmb wrote: »

Going through a separation and applications for maintenance. My Ex is lying on her statements, does anyone know what options are available to challenge...my solicitor wasn't very helpful

thanks

Who wants a change from whats being paid currently ? That person is the person seeking a "variation" in a court situation. As such they have the burden of proof and must prove they need the extra money or don't have it if they wish to reduce maintenance.
In an agreement situation you like it or lump it really.

Edit: in an agreement situation your solicitor writes to hers pointing out the glaring inaccuracies and stating that unless they are rectified in the statement of means within x number of days you will apply to the district court etc etc.

Stheno

desbrook wrote: »

Who wants a change from whats being paid currently ? That person is the person seeking a "variation" in a court situation. As such they have the burden of proof and must prove they need the extra money or don't have it if they wish to reduce maintenance.
In an agreement situation you like it or lump it really.

Edit: in an agreement situation your solicitor writes to hers pointing out the glaring inaccuracies and stating that unless they are rectified in the statement of means within x number of days you will apply to the district court etc etc.

Afaik from the ops other posts, they are at the very beginning of determining what levels of maintenance should be paid, nothing is currently in place

desbrook

Stheno wrote: »

Afaik from the ops other posts, they are at the very beginning of determining what levels of maintenance should be paid, nothing is currently in place

In that case the OPs wife would be applying for a variation of spousal maintenance which currently is zero. In the case if child maintenance my strong advice is to pay clearly by bank transfer and to clearly label it CHILD maintenance to avoid confusion.

tmalmb

so a bit more clarification. We currently have an inetrim agreement on maintenance, my Ex gets 100 amount per week for my child and twice that amount per week for herself and she keeps the children's allowance (for 3 kids...even though two live with me). In total its a sizable chunk of cash.

I don't know why I agreed to it, I was caught off guard, I was under extreme emotional pressure and now in hindsight I feel my solicitor did not advise me correctly, she was looking to cut a deal before the hearing....and under pressure I agreed on the basis the mortgage was put on hold for 3 months.....not much I can do about the past but the formal maintenance hearing is coming up.

My Ex wants more and I want to cut her personal maintenance down (preferably to zero).

For those of you who have gone through this or have experience with it....should I let the judge decide or should I try cut a deal...my solicitor keeps reminding me that the judge can award up to 150 pw for the child and up to 500pw for my Ex?

Ken.

The judge can't put you in the poor house either. If 2 of the children are living with you that has to be taken in to account. Make sure you have a solid fully backed up statement of means done up. Preferably with receipts.

Stheno

Tbh, at this stage you've had a fair few troubles with this solicitor, and they don't seem to be in your corner at all.

WOuld you consider getting a new solicitor?

tmalmb

Stheno wrote: »

Tbh, at this stage you've had a fair few troubles with this solicitor, and they don't seem to be in your corner at all.

WOuld you consider getting a new solicitor?

I'm seriously considering it, my worry is that they are all the same and that really they don't care about you, they are looking for the path of least resistance irrespective of whats best for you :-/

Stheno

tmalmb wrote: »

I'm seriously considering it, my worry is that they are all the same and that really they don't care about you, they are looking for the path of least resistance irrespective of whats best for you :-/

It's kinda the opposite of your experience but when I split from my ex (I'm female) I was recommended a female solicitor by a friend who had gone through an acrimonious divorce.

This one was hard as nails. My ex and I were getting on fine, and I suggested I move out, so I rang the solicitor to check if it would affect my rights to the house.

She jumped right into "Is he insisting you move out? I'll get you a barring order" which wasn't what I wanted at all. I switched to a different solicitor again on a recommendation, and everythingi that happened was at my behest, with obviously some advice from her.

My worry for you here is that your solicitor is not 1. listening to you, 2. explaining what's happening to you, and 3. not defending you and your position appropriately.

If I was to be blunt, they are not representing you. In times like these, you need to be sure your legal advocate is on your side.

Do you mind me asking where you are based? Someone might be able to recommend a solicitor known for work in this area. Alternatively, could you contact AMEN? www.amen.ie they advocate for men in such situations and might give you a face to face/phone contact to discuss this and help you more?

I can only imagine how **** you are feeling, that's a heavy burden to be carrying.

Try contacting Amen, they won't ignore you and it might be the bit of reassurance you need.

tmalmb

Stheno wrote: »

Do you mind me asking where you are based? Someone might be able to recommend a solicitor known for work in this area. Alternatively, could you contact AMEN? www.amen.ie they advocate for men in such situations and might give you a face to face/phone contact to discuss this and help you more?

Thanks, I'm based in County Galway. TBH...I just feel like a punching bag at the moment, I'm trying to rebuild my life with two children that are with me...My Ex has little to no contact with them so there is a lot of juggling at the moment but every-time I feel like I'm getting my head up and a new routine set...I have legal challenges,demands, accusations coming my way and the only pressure my solicitor seems to apply is on me :-/

I've another consultation with them today, maybe I can get some reassurances from them...if not I'm going to follow your advice and reach out to AMEN

peckerhead

Good luck with the lawyer today. And pick up the 'phone to AMEN anyway — you need all the support you can get.

Talking to family and friends is vital, yet often difficult (whether they were 'mutual' friends or 'your friends, not hers'). And I know how tough it is to have to keep trying to put a brave face on things for the kids' sake. You're in the early stages of what will unavoidably be a long, messy, stressful and painful journey, and you need to look after yourself. Your lawyer is/can only be one part of the support you need, but you do need to feel at some level that (s)he is on your side. Speak frankly to him, and go well.