Break up

Runforfun15

Hi,
Any advice appreciated.
Basically I am mid 30s and met a great guy last January. I had a previous bad break up a few years ago and dated plenty since but nothing too serious. So I met this guy through mutual friends and we really hit it off! We event on a holiday this summer which may have been a bit much and soon in hindsight. Up to that point we only saw each other at weekends. About a month ago he started saying he wanted out and became totally negative on the future. However when he would see me he would melt but then during week when just on the iPhone he would say he wanted to be on his own etc. he is nearly 40 and pretty stubborn and set in his ways. He wouldn't move etc i would have to. I'm very involved in sports and so had a good bit of commitment over the summer and in hindsight I should have put more time for us etc. we have great physical chemistry and always enjoy seeing each other. Maybe we just are too different as he has spent the last month in his local every weekend since we have stopped seeing each other. That would not be my scene every weekend.
I suppose what I'm trying to get at is that there was so much right. I wanted us to spend more time together etc but maybe I left that too late to realise.
He really got under my skin and I genuinely miss him terribly.
I suppose I'm trying to accept my regrets and somehow move on........

Thanks for reading

zoobizoo

(a) you like him
(b) he might still like you
(c) you are allowed to have your own interests and commitments and sometimes they will come first
(d) if he can't deal with that, then he's not very understanding
(e) did he say that he had an issue with your commitments?
(f) how far apart do you live?
(g) does he want to be on his own or does he just not want to be with you?
(h) would he prefer to just hang in his local or would he prefer to meet you?
(i) have you expressed your feelings to him?

you've been together about nine months and it sounds like you get on well. just because you are different doesn't mean it can't or won;t work. Has he made any effort to contact you and did he actually break up with you?

There are plenty of obstacles we can put in the way or we can remove them to get what we want - maybe he thinks it's "too hard" to have a real girlfriend who has interests, lives a bit away and actually wants to meet up. I'd suggest calling him, meeting, lay your cards on the table and see what he says.

Runforfun15

Thanks zoobizoo

I suppose initially the dynamic changed and I had a wake up call but for him it seemed too late. We are that bit away from each other so the phone does not help!!
I am resigned that it is over but I am carrying regrets and maybe left it too late to realise its potential. I was a bit self consumed with my own interests etc.
so now I just have to get over it ......