We all have problems

poeticjustice

So yeah, we all have problems. Things that make our lives seemingly much more difficult than they really have to be. And if you could just make that one annoying issue fall off the face of the earth, dare I say you could even be...happy?!?!

I work with the best bunch of lads. We have a laugh at work and the business runs nice and smoothly. Until the boss/owner gets involved. His incompetence and ignorance is astounding and has the annoying habit of treating everyone like a bag of ****. If he were to say disappear, and life carried on as normal, my life would be a whole lot easier (until I find a new problem shortly after of course).

What's the one thing you would magically change in your life that would make a huge difference to your happiness/success?

Edit. Wrong forum

_Brian

Having to go to work. It's a bag of rubbish and just gets in the way of real life.

Tasden

The common cold. It's such an inconvenience and knocks you out for a few days but there is nothing to cure it. Last few times I've tried to work through them only to end up even more sick for longer. Even when you feel that niggling feeling of a cold brewing and you have a sore throat and you're a bit tired you still can't prevent it from developing!

Hammer89

_Brian wrote: »

Having to go to work. It's a bag of rubbish and just gets in the way of real life.

Are you a binman?

whatismyname

The inability / unwillingness of mental health services to provide appropriate support / recognition / treatment to me for a whole childhood of abuse and neglect and its impact on my life. That would be kinda cool.

circadian

TheTorment wrote: »

Edit. Wrong forum

I thought AH was the anything goes place?

meeeeh

My legs could be longer, I wouldn't need to wear heels all the time.

KERSPLAT!

circadian wrote: »

I thought AH was the anything goes place?

You thought wrong.

circadian

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

You thought wrong.

Within reason of course.

It's a Saturday night, lighten up!

poeticjustice

meeeeh wrote: »

My legs could be longer, I wouldn't need to wear heels all the time.

Just curious. If you wore flat shoes now instead of high heels, how would your life be different? Do you think tall girls are considered to be cuter or is it more a reaching for high objects issue?

KERSPLAT!

circadian wrote: »

Within reason of course.

It's a Saturday night, lighten up!

Still hungover from last night

poeticjustice

_Brian wrote: »

Having to go to work. It's a bag of rubbish and just gets in the way of real life.

If you didn't have to go to work and money was no object, within reason (you can live the same lifestyle as you currently do) what would you do instead?

poeticjustice

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Still hungover from last night

Would your thing be to get rid of hangovers forever?

meeeeh

poeticjustice wrote: »

Just curious. If you wore flat shoes now instead of high heels, how would your life be different? Do you think tall girls are considered to be cuter or is it more a reaching for high objects issue?

I would need to shorten trousers made by Italian brands because they almost exclusively do 34" leg. Happy?

ballyharpat

If I could not over react so much or when I do, be aware of my tone of voice-I wouldn't scare so many people… having said that, I have gotten a lot of things in my life by using that behavior, but I think itt has served it's purpose, not so easy to put a lifetime of it behind me………

circadian

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Still hungover from last night

Is this turning into a 2-dayer hangover? I feel for ya, they're minus craic.

KERSPLAT!

poeticjustice wrote: »

Would your thing be to get rid of hangovers forever?

Nah, I don't drink often so that'd be a waste!

I'll think of something and get back to ya

@circadian. All my hangovers are two days at least Santa shopping in the morning so I'll feel better hopefully!

Stheno

meeeeh wrote: »

I would need to shorten trousers made by Italian brands because they almost exclusively do 34" leg. Happy?

I have to get the hems on those let down so I don't have ankle flappers.

poeticjustice

meeeeh wrote: »

I would need to shorten trousers made by Italian brands because they almost exclusively do 34" leg. Happy?

See I'd have never thought of that! Thanks, i'm happy now.

poeticjustice

ballyharpat wrote: »

If I could not over react so much or when I do, be aware of my tone of voice-I wouldn't scare so many people… having said that, I have gotten a lot of things in my life by using that behavior, but I think itt has served it's purpose, not so easy to put a lifetime of it behind me………

That's a good one. At least it's within your own control to try and do something about if you wanted to try. Easier said than done though, I'm sure. You tried anything to fix it?

Wanderer2010

Social anxiety. Very tough thing to deal with and it does get worse as you age unless you tackle it. I have had counselling for it and although I feel a bit stronger I STILL can't walk up to a stranger or strangers and introduce myself without sweating and getting tongue tied. I tried signing up for a Meetup event few months back but when I arrived and saw a few others talking and shaking hands I had a panic attack and drove home! I've given up on myself as regards new friends go..

ballyharpat

poeticjustice wrote: »

That's a good one. At least it's within your own control to try and do something about if you wanted to try. Easier said than done though, I'm sure. You tried anything to fix it?

I have tried meditation and reducing stress in my life, it helps, but at times we all have a bit of stress…..then I fall back into it, until it becomes really obvious that Ive upset someone, then I feel really guilty…..and like an asshole-rightly so- i may need to get some therapy to help me deal with it and become more aware of my triggers…..

Tasden

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Social anxiety. Very tough thing to deal with and it does get worse as you age unless you tackle it. I have had counselling for it and although I feel a bit stronger I STILL can't walk up to a stranger or strangers and introduce myself without sweating and getting tongue tied. I tried signing up for a Meetup event few months back but when I arrived and saw a few others talking and shaking hands I had a panic attack and drove home! I've given up on myself as regards new friends go..

There's always time to make new friends, honestly. Try again next week! Message one person going and ask can you meet them first and can they introduce you to the others.

circadian

ballyharpat wrote: »

If I could not over react so much or when I do, be aware of my tone of voice-I wouldn't scare so many people… having said that, I have gotten a lot of things in my life by using that behavior, but I think itt has served it's purpose, not so easy to put a lifetime of it behind me………

I know what you mean. I don't do this but know others that do, it's hard for me to understand that frame of mind but when I feel like I'm letting my emotions get the run of me, I just stop and take a nice slow breath.

You gotta remember, very few people enjoy confrontation. We all want the easy life and that usually involves compromise. So, be prepared to compromise, but only compromise as far as you're comfortable with. It's like a see-saw and you'll figure out what works in most occasions.

Although, there will be times where you just gotta loose your sh!t.

eviltwin

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Social anxiety. Very tough thing to deal with and it does get worse as you age unless you tackle it. I have had counselling for it and although I feel a bit stronger I STILL can't walk up to a stranger or strangers and introduce myself without sweating and getting tongue tied. I tried signing up for a Meetup event few months back but when I arrived and saw a few others talking and shaking hands I had a panic attack and drove home! I've given up on myself as regards new friends go..

Please don't let that one thing put you off. Tasdens suggestion is a great one.

poeticjustice

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Social anxiety. Very tough thing to deal with and it does get worse as you age unless you tackle it. I have had counselling for it and although I feel a bit stronger I STILL can't walk up to a stranger or strangers and introduce myself without sweating and getting tongue tied. I tried signing up for a Meetup event few months back but when I arrived and saw a few others talking and shaking hands I had a panic attack and drove home! I've given up on myself as regards new friends go..

That's pretty rough alright. I found a good way to improve is to set small goals every week. Like the first one might be to smile at a random stranger walking down the street. Do that for a few days until you get comfortable with it. After that, just say hello to a stranger you pass and keep walking. Eventually, increase it to saying hi to someone you don't know at work or any other random place. It might help you gain confidence and you'll realise its not the life or death situation you build it up to be in your head. Its good to go out of your comfort zone regularly I think. Good luck with it though

circadian

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Social anxiety. Very tough thing to deal with and it does get worse as you age unless you tackle it. I have had counselling for it and although I feel a bit stronger I STILL can't walk up to a stranger or strangers and introduce myself without sweating and getting tongue tied. I tried signing up for a Meetup event few months back but when I arrived and saw a few others talking and shaking hands I had a panic attack and drove home! I've given up on myself as regards new friends go..

What exactly puts you off talking to others? Sure the feelings are as you described, but can you point out why? Even if you don't answer here, you should be asking what it is about meeting others that causes these feelings and how do you deal with that? Do other people have these thoughts?

They probably do.

KKkitty

A neighbour died today. Waking up this morning I never thought at this stage of the day the estate I'm living in would be one friend less. The woman who died was similar to my own mother in physical appearance and it brought me right back to how my own mother looked on her deathbed. Looking at her sons and their anguish is heartbreaking. Since I moved here she was always nice to me. We often spent ages out talking about anything and everything. Goodbye dear friend

circadian

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Social anxiety. Very tough thing to deal with and it does get worse as you age unless you tackle it. I have had counselling for it and although I feel a bit stronger I STILL can't walk up to a stranger or strangers and introduce myself without sweating and getting tongue tied. I tried signing up for a Meetup event few months back but when I arrived and saw a few others talking and shaking hands I had a panic attack and drove home! I've given up on myself as regards new friends go..

Actually, I'll open up as well as my above post.

I deal with the urge to spit/punch/other inappropriate thing at times. Almost always one on one with people in professional/stressful situations.

Completely off the wall thoughts. Absurd and not going to happen thoughts.

They're there though. They exist. They cloud my judgement.

Find a means of control my fellow poster. Own that sh!t. YOU are the boss, do not fall to sorrow. Do not allow yourself to succumb to these feelings. You are more than intelligent enough to control your feelings.

As mentioned above, meditation is a great way to centre yourself.

poeticjustice

KKkitty wrote: »

A neighbour died today. Waking up this morning I never thought at this stage of the day the estate I'm living in would be one friend less. The woman who died was similar to my own mother in physical appearance and it brought me right back to how my own mother looked on her deathbed. Looking at her sons and their anguish is heartbreaking. Since I moved here she was always nice to me. We often spent ages out talking about anything and everything. Goodbye dear friend

Really sorry for your loss

ballyharpat

circadian wrote: »

I know what you mean. I don't do this but know others that do, it's hard for me to understand that frame of mind but when I feel like I'm letting my emotions get the run of me, I just stop and take a nice slow breath.

You gotta remember, very few people enjoy confrontation. We all want the easy life and that usually involves compromise. So, be prepared to compromise, but only compromise as far as you're comfortable with. It's like a see-saw and you'll figure out what works in most occasions.

Although, there will be times where you just gotta loose your sh!t.

I never heard it put so well, and it makes me feel half normal…..'letting my emotions get the run of me' -LOVE IT!!!

I will try that in future, all actions/states of mind like that take time to change, like any bad habit, but I am gonna keep trying, my only other option is to do nothing, but eventually I'd have to quit my job and maybe even not deal with people t all……. It happens.

circadian

ballyharpat wrote: »

I never heard it put so well, and it makes me feel half normal…..'letting my emotions get the run of me' -LOVE IT!!!

I will try that in future, all actions/states of mind like that take time to change, like any bad habit, but I am gonna keep trying, my only other option is to do nothing, but eventually I'd have to quit my job and maybe even not deal with people t all……. It happens.

It takes a while to change your habits, even, your own personality at this point.

Just remember, there is a time to be aggressive and/or assertive. At all other times, this takes a lot more energy than working to resolve an issue. Almost everyone just wants a resolution. There are very few cases where someone wants aggravation. With this in mind, you'll eventually find the gauge. It'll be frustrating, but in the long run make your life easier.

The good things in life don't come easy.

Capt'n Midnight

I have 99 problems. Money would solve 80 of them.