Must you inform employers of marriage

LegacyUser

I'm changing jobs early next year which also coincides with me getting married in about June of next year. Now the situation isn't the norm as I'm marrying my girlfriend, who I am going out with for almost 5 years, as she cannot legally stay in the country after November 2016. She's my absolute world and I'd be so lost without her in my life so marriage is definitely on the cards, just not this soon.

We are to get officially engaged in the next few months, which all our friends and family will be aware of, but we are keeping the wedding quiet as we just want to be legally married for the above stated reasons. We plan to get married in 2017 so only a year after the legal marriage, as we feel we'll be more prepared at this stage.

Now my question is, do I have to tell my employers that i'm married when we do get hitched? I won't be wearing my wedding band until the actual wedding itself and only our parents, siblings and 2 of my friends will know about the legal marriage. I know for tax reasons I may have to, although I won't be taking her tax credits and the higher cut off doesn't affect my wage as it's lower than the single persons cut off.

I suppose I could only tell HR or whoever processes payroll but then I'd have to hope they keep it quiet. If it gets out I'm married and i then ask for time off for the wedding in 2017, there'll be questions asked.

I'm a self conscious person and don't want everyone judging me if they find out the reasons we got married and how we got legally married. We would both rather the actual wedding to be the wedding that is remembered.

tea and coffee

tell them for payroll reasons. They won't know if you had a big "party" and it's none of their business. Or you culd say, you are getting married but are saving up to have a big party later on

ted1

do you have life cover provided in Work?

she'll be the benefitter and also your next of kin.

does the new job provide additional days off for getting married?

Paddy Cow

I'm confused. If you are getting legally married in 2016 then won't the wedding in 2017 be a blessing? Could you tell HR about the 2016 marriage because it will probably affect your tax credits and then book time off in 2017. You could say nothing and book the time off as a holiday or tell them that you are delaying your honeymoon until 2017 when you have saved up enough money.

I'm not married myself so don't know about the legal stuff but do you legally have to declare marriage because of tax?

uck51js9zml2yt

i don't get why you're getting married a year after your legal marriage!
You've been together 5 years, what more do you need to be ready for?

When you're married you'll need to contact revenue to arrange your tax credits. If she isnt working you can have hers.
They will send a new tax cert to your employer.

If you have a work pension, your employer will need to know as she is a beneficiary.

ivytwine

Why on earth would your employers even care you're married beyond your tax credits? Most workplaces are a mixture of single and married people. Loads of people are married to foreign nationals, loads of people do a blessing... I think you're really overthinking this. Making a thing of this will probably only make people more curious.

Addle

You don't inform your employer of your tax credits, revenue does. And your employer doesn't get a break down of them-it's none of their business.
You don't have to tell anyone you're married.

Pawwed Rig

Anonymous0611 wrote: »

I know for tax reasons I may have to, although I won't be taking her tax credits and the higher cut off doesn't affect my wage as it's lower than the single persons cut off.

This part depends on what you earn and what she earns. Once you are married you can use her tax credit if she isn't using it already.

If you want a second wedding next year just have one. Why would you have to justify the time off?

Hemerodrome

You know there's no "legal" and "real" marriage, right? Once you're married, that's the only legal one you're allowed, you can't be legally married twice in Ireland even if it's to the same person. You then inform revenue who in turn inform your employer of your entitlement.
Personally, I don't think keeping that secret is a great idea, it has potential to backfire and undermine your employer's trust in you. Seems a big risk when there is no upside to keeping it secret.

strandroad

Anonymous0611 wrote: »

I won't be wearing my wedding band until the actual wedding itself and only our parents, siblings and 2 of my friends will know about the legal marriage.

This sounds really weird, why all this secrecy? You'll have to pretend in front of almost everyone for a year, and for the wedding you'll lie to all you guests again that you're "marrying" someone who is your wife already? It sounds paranoid and you or your family are bound to slip up anyway.

Are you sure that pushing this forward for a visa is the right decision? You sound as if you want to erase the fact of this rushed marriage from your mind already.

LynnGrace

As suggested upthread, I would say, book the time in 2017 as time for your honeymoon. Lots of people defer a honeymoon for one reason or another. I genuinely believe nobody will bat an eyelid. Most people are too busy living their own lives to give much thought to what is going on with others, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Bear in mind also that your colleagues won't know the ins and outs of why you are getting married in 2016, apart from whatever you choose to tell them. So, my advice would be, have the wedding, as planned, and say you are having the honeymoon the following year. My guess would be that people will simply wish you all the best, and think no more about it.

LegacyUser

I've had two sets of friends have a legal marriage and a big "wedding" later but it's usually within a month. They both did because they wanted to get married outside so they got a quick marriage at the registers office so they'd be legally married but they treat the big family wedding to be their wedding anniversary.

Key thing is they were getting married within a month so I don't know how you'd manage to wait over a year OP without everyone finding out regardless of what your work does or doesn't know. Why not have a small service and a big party for everyone the following year if that's what you want? I know several people who've married someone from another country and had two weddings and sometimes even three. My cousin and his wife got married in the country they were living in and then another 'wedding' in her home country and another one here in Ireland for his family.

amdublin

Do you need to get married now? I am not sure that getting married automatically gets you a visa??


What about a de facto relationship visa?

katydid

Anonymous0611 wrote: »

I'm changing jobs early next year which also coincides with me getting married in about June of next year. Now the situation isn't the norm as I'm marrying my girlfriend, who I am going out with for almost 5 years, as she cannot legally stay in the country after November 2016. She's my absolute world and I'd be so lost without her in my life so marriage is definitely on the cards, just not this soon.

We are to get officially engaged in the next few months, which all our friends and family will be aware of, but we are keeping the wedding quiet as we just want to be legally married for the above stated reasons. We plan to get married in 2017 so only a year after the legal marriage, as we feel we'll be more prepared at this stage.

Now my question is, do I have to tell my employers that i'm married when we do get hitched? I won't be wearing my wedding band until the actual wedding itself and only our parents, siblings and 2 of my friends will know about the legal marriage. I know for tax reasons I may have to, although I won't be taking her tax credits and the higher cut off doesn't affect my wage as it's lower than the single persons cut off.

I suppose I could only tell HR or whoever processes payroll but then I'd have to hope they keep it quiet. If it gets out I'm married and i then ask for time off for the wedding in 2017, there'll be questions asked.

I'm a self conscious person and don't want everyone judging me if they find out the reasons we got married and how we got legally married. We would both rather the actual wedding to be the wedding that is remembered.

It's your private life. The tax situation is dealt with by Revenue, so what's the big deal? I don't understand all the cloak and dagger stuff.

When you say you are getting married in 2016 for legal reasons, but that you plan to get married in 2017 - you can't get married twice. You can get married in a civil ceremony first and have the church wedding afterwards. Is that what you mean?

GerardKeating

amdublin wrote: »

Do you need to get married now? I am not sure that getting married automatically gets you a visa??


What about a de facto relationship visa?

Dies that apply if the spouse is on a student visa?

amdublin

GerardKeating wrote: »

Dies that apply if the spouse is on a student visa?

No idea GerardKeating. That's my point the op needs to make sure this marriage is the right thing for him and his partner.

Neyite

katydid wrote: »

It's your private life. The tax situation is dealt with by Revenue, so what's the big deal? I don't understand all the cloak and dagger stuff.

When you say you are getting married in 2016 for legal reasons, but that you plan to get married in 2017 - you can't get married twice. You can get married in a civil ceremony first and have the church wedding afterwards. Is that what you mean?

The church cant marry you again, I've seen this crop up on a few wedding forums. You can have a ceremony to bless the marriage, or one to renew your vows but the omission or change of the wording of the legal bit, signing of the register at the end and those sort of things will show the guests that it was ceremonial and that you've gotten married already.

And OP, there is nothing wrong with doing that - having a quiet legal wedding with two witnesses now, and having a bigger celebration down the line. But you wont be able to hide it from friends and family I imagine.