Admit to suicide attempt?

Meadhbus

So I'm new around these parts; hello.

I have bipolar disorder, and two and half years ago, I tried to commit suicide. It wasn't even that I was particularly depressed, I was still taking my meds, I just couldn't stand feeling nothing anymore. So I overdosed.

Woke up the next morning, and I didn't remember what I'd done, so I let my roommate take me to the doctor's, and then the hospital. It was a full day and some very concerned family and friends later when I figured it out (I'd sort of had flashes all day, but I couldn't believe that I'd actually done it). By then, I'd convinced everyone, including the doctors, that it wasn't a suicide attempt.

Had I remembered in the first place, I definitely would have told them and faced the consequences. Anyway, I was discharged, and sent home on the assumption that it was a seizure or a virus because they hadn't been able to find anything wrong.

Since then, I've encouraged that assumption; I'm terrified to know how they're going to react when I did something so horrible to them. I admitted it to my psychiatrists a few months later. It's been bothering me lately though, and I'm wondering if I should finally tell some one of them.

So, my question is, should I? If you were someone close to me, would you want to know? I'm not sure how any good will come of it, it'll just hurt them. But it's killing me to keep it a secret, and I know if roles were reversed, I'd want to know. Any advice is welcome.

Turtle_

Assuming you have a good relationship, then yes; I would want to know. I'd want to know so that I could be there to help and support you.

It's obviously eating away at you trying to keep it secret, and that's not going to do you any favours at all.

I don't think you need to tell all your relatives and friends, but certainly your closest family members and friends. If you tell them, it more than likely will upset them that you were in that place, but on balance I would still want to know.

I suppose there's an argument in favour of letting the past be in the past, but if it's still cropping up for you and still on your mind it doesn't sound like that's an option.

I think your instinct that you would want to know if roles were reversed is spot on. Of course it will hurt them, but not so much as finding out and thinking of how you suffered alone and in silence would.

uck51js9zml2yt

There is a sticky in this forum with information for distressed posters.
It has organisations you could talk to and who can offer support.

You should also talk to your clinical psychologist.

Being Bi polar isn't the end , it just poses new challenges

Meadhbus

Alayna Rancid Sidekick wrote: »

There is a sticky in this forum with information for distressed posters.
It has organisations you could talk to and who can offer support.

You should also talk to your clinical psychologist.

Being Bi polar isn't the end , it just poses new challenges

Actually, I'm not particularly distressed at the moment, I've been pretty good the last while. And I've been bipolar for pretty much my entire teen/adult life, so I know all about the challenges.

But thanks for letting me know. I'll definitely check it out for future reference.

Turtle_ wrote: »

Assuming you have a good relationship, then yes; I would want to know. I'd want to know so that I could be there to help and support you.

It's obviously eating away at you trying to keep it secret, and that's not going to do you any favours at all.

I don't think you need to tell all your relatives and friends, but certainly your closest family members and friends. If you tell them, it more than likely will upset them that you were in that place, but on balance I would still want to know.

I suppose there's an argument in favour of letting the past be in the past, but if it's still cropping up for you and still on your mind it doesn't sound like that's an option.

I think your instinct that you would want to know if roles were reversed is spot on. Of course it will hurt them, but not so much as finding out and thinking of how you suffered alone and in silence would.

Yeah, you're probably right. Just I do have one or two family members in particular (my parents) who are definitely going to react badly. And I feel like I can't tell my siblings without telling them - if and when they found out, it would be even worse that I hadn't told them too.

I'm not sure about the logistics of it either. Do I sit them all down and tell them at once? Or individually?

uck51js9zml2yt

Meadhbus wrote: »

Actually, I'm not particularly distressed at the moment, I've been pretty good the last while. And I've been bipolar for pretty my entire teen/adult life, so I know all about the challenges.

But thanks for letting me know. I'll definitely check it out for future reference.

Glad to hear you're OK.

Diamond Doll

Meadhbus wrote: »

Yeah, you're probably right. Just I do have one or two family members in particular (my parents) who are definitely going to react badly. And I feel like I can't tell my siblings without telling them - if and when they found out, it would be even worse that I hadn't told them too.

I'm not sure about the logistics of it either. Do I sit them all down and tell them at once? Or individually?

Would it be easier to say it by letter or e-mail? I think that's probably the route I'd go down. Allow them some time to digest the news, then talk to them face-to-face.

And I don't think it should be a case that you tell them all, or no one. I would start by telling perhaps one sibling - whoever you're closest to. Then, judging by how they react and how you feel after sharing it, you could decide if you'd like to tell anyone else right now.

Meadhbus

Something written is a good idea actually. And I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist coming up, so I'll probably talk to her about it. Thanks everyone.

And yeah, it's great to be normal - for a while anyway.