Drinking too much?

LegacyUser

Morning all,

I know this will probably be a normal enough email to hear on a Monday morning but i think i really need some advice on this. Was out for Halloween and drank way too much - can't even remember the end of the night and I wasn't even out that late. I spent all day dying yesterday in bed and it's got me thinking that there most be a better way to do this.

Now I will admit I do like to drink and there's nothing better to me then chilling after a long day of work with a glass of wine. I'm finding though where as a few years back it wouldn't bother me if I had a drank or not, now I look forward to it. I don't think I have a problem as such but think it has become a crutch for me to lean on when I'm having a hard time or hard day. I'm not looking for medical advice or anything like that because if I did think I had a problem I would address it.

I guess what I'm looking for is some advice - I know I should just know the nail on the head and take a break from drinking indefinitely until I decide on what I want to do bit but I don't like that. It may be something I have to do as once I have a drink or two in me I just can't seem to say no to anything. It seems to be a viscous cycle where I can go out for weeks and be ok and then have one bad night like this and these bad nights are ruining things for me.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation and what have you done.

Xterminator

If the wine isnt in the house, you cannot crack it open. Remove the temptation by not buying it! that way you dont need iron will power at all times.

Also you ahve identified that you are at risk of having a drink after a hard day at work. You know that is a trigger.
so can you break the habit by maybe going for a long walk after a hard day? A trip to the gym to burn off the frustration?

X

whippet

keepingthisanon wrote: »

Morning all,

I know this will probably be a normal enough email to hear on a Monday morning but i think i really need some advice on this. Was out for Halloween and drank way too much - can't even remember the end of the night and I wasn't even out that late. I spent all day dying yesterday in bed and it's got me thinking that there most be a better way to do this.

Now I will admit I do like to drink and there's nothing better to me then chilling after a long day of work with a glass of wine. I'm finding though where as a few years back it wouldn't bother me if I had a drank or not, now I look forward to it. I don't think I have a problem as such but think it has become a crutch for me to lean on when I'm having a hard time or hard day. I'm not looking for medical advice or anything like that because if I did think I had a problem I would address it.

I guess what I'm looking for is some advice - I know I should just know the nail on the head and take a break from drinking indefinitely until I decide on what I want to do bit but I don't like that. It may be something I have to do as once I have a drink or two in me I just can't seem to say no to anything. It seems to be a viscous cycle where I can go out for weeks and be ok and then have one bad night like this and these bad nights are ruining things for me.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation and what have you done.

just read the parts in bold to yourself a couple of times and that should be the answer
.

Having a drink should be a present and sociable experience .. if not .. it is a drug that is being abused and treated as such

Timothy Bryce

You have a dose of the fear by the sounds of it, trust me we've all been there and you should be right as rain in a day or so.

I have been where you are, where you're looking forward to a drink in the evening after a tough day at work. I'd have a couple of beers most nights of the week, and probably go on the lash on either Friday/Saturday as a 'reward' for getting through a tough week. I work bloody hard and should be allowed to blow off steam with my hard earned cash.

A couple of years back I had a similar experience to you; went out, drank far too much, no recollection of where I was, who I was talking to and what I was talking about. Complete blackout, credit card receipts from random places. Was about a week before I felt better.

During the following days I decided to take a break for 1 weekend - my 'reward' was to go out for a nice breakfast in a fancy cafe in town. The weekend stands out in my memory, for the first time in a long time, I used the time to be nice to myself. I went shopping, got a haircut, went to the cinema, had a long walk with the dog, went for a swim etc. Both Friday and Saturday of that weekend I slept for 10 hours each night, another first for me.

I found that following week in work wasn't anywhere near as stressful as normal. I was well rested, and more focused (not for a minute suggesting that you're not focused on your work!) and the days seemed easier and more productive. As a result I stopped having beers in the evenings during the week. I couldn't wait for the next weekend so I could head into town for a nice breakfast and enjoy my free time, rather than hopping around the bed riddled with anxiety. That 1 weekend, turned into 2 weekends and before I knew it I hadn't had a drink in nearly 6 months - I do dinner with my friends, and hit the pub with them for a while but normally head home when things start to get really messy. It is possible to enjoy nights out with drinking, believe me. If your friends are anything like mine, they won't remember much after midnight!

I still have occasional drink at a wedding or birthday party but always have a plan in my head beforehand of when I'm going to leave and how I'm going to get home.

The choice is in your hands, and there'll be tough moments. But I can genuinely say that my quality of life is immeasurably better than it was during the 'blackout' days.

Hope this helps!

Pawwed Rig

It is not really normal in most countries in the world to drink until you black out but is unfortunately very common here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking forward to relaxing with a glass of wine but when you are losing whole days to drink then you do have a problem albeit a very common problem.

LegacyUser

Thank you to everyone who replied - was afraid to come back here as thought I would be getting slated left, right and center.

I joined a gym a coupe of weeks ago so trying to focus on that which does take the temptation away as I sometimes just drink cos I'm bored. It also doesn't help that I'm living abroad so have no family around me that I can call into when I'm bored.

Timothy Bryce - special thanks to you - it's nice to have someone gone through and gone over the other side. I definitely had and still have the fear from that night - I have totally blanked out the remainder of the night and really don't like that I got myself into that situation. For obvious reasons haven't drunk since then and am actually going to try and stay off it indefinitely. I am going to watch a rugby match tomorrow - so it'll be interesting to see if I can keep to my pact. Even though I wouldn't drink every night I do notice that I am clearer getting up in the mornings for work and it's not like 'oh I really shouldn't have had that second/third glass' kind of feeling!

I am definitely taking everything on bored though and will be staying tee-total for the indefinite future and focusing on getting myself fit in the gym and healthy outside the gym- I know the first weekend will be tough as it's a bad cycle I need to break so wish me luck!!

zoobizoo

Just on that, well done OP.

What I found when I've been off drink and abroad is that I have a lot of spare time on my hands - particularly Saturdays and Sundays.

So take up a hobby that will keep you busy.

The gym is a very solitary existence so maybe a sports club - particularly those who'd travel away at weekends such as kayaking or surfing... great way to keep busy and meet new people