Are you annoyed by a baby/toddler crying?

Wizard!

If you have kids, you know sometimes they start crying without obvious reasons. I am not talking about spoiled kids that want that game or chocolate which you cannot buy, but for example when you need to shop in Dunnes, the kid is in the stroller and wants to get up and play, and since you cannot let him/her do that, starts crying. Another example, he/she pooped, you are in the middle of the street, so you cannot change the diaper. Or he/she is tired and want to go home and sleep, or his teeth giving him/her trouble.

When this happens in a public place, are you annoyed? Do you understand that sometimes is inevitable to avoid this?

When this happens, my wife feels terrible and tries to leave the place, or run away from people to stop disturbing them. What would you do in such cases?

LegacyUser

Honestly we did what your wife does,

if we were out to dinner and she got restless, whichever one of us had eaten the most would take her outside and we'd swop when the other had finished eating/conversations,

if we were in the middle of a street and she pooped (or more often with her in the middle of a shop) one of us would go take her to the nearest changing area/bathroom, (we always made sure to know where these were before going places or stuck to centers with the shops/facilities we needed) if i was on my own with her i'd ask customer services/staff if they'd mind my stuff while i changed her.

while her crying didn't annoy us i am aware that when amongst the public it is our job as her parents not to disrupt anyone else's day as much as we can, i've been that employee stuck in a shop with a screaming child and the parent just ignores them and continues on like nothing is happening,

its not only horrible for the public to hear a screaming/crying child, but i feel it's horrible to see a parent not even attempt to comfort/distract their child.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

I am like your wife, to a certain extent. I can put up with the odd whinge but if one (or both!) of mine was really kicking up/crying, I would feel very embarrassed and I would leave. Funny thing is though, if I'm out and I see another parent with a screaming child, I always feel really sorry for the parent and I say to myself 'I hope that parent doesn't feel the need to leave because of their child'. Maybe I should go easier on myself!

endacl

I don't have kids. Crying kids don't bother me. Kids cry. Always have done and always will. That's life.



Whining is another story altogether, though....

Penny Dreadful

I usually feel sorry for the parent(s). Sorry for the baby that their teeth/whatever might be painful. Feel glad that it isn't my baby at that minute thats crying.

However, those that allow their kids to be little brats e.g. you're in a coffee shop and the child at the table next to you keeps kicking the buggy and despite asking them nicely to stop they continue. Then you stop asking and just tell them to stop, they start to cry and FINALLY the parent gets involved and tells you off for preventing their child from expressing themselves as they wish. :rolleyes:

livinsane

I don't feel embarrassed if my young child is crying in public because that's a normal way of communicating on their part but I find it stressful to see them bothered about something so I would definitely try to get out of there. Then again my toddler doesn't cry unless there is something really wrong with him so it wouldn't be normal. If he is whinging I'll just try to distract him with songs or something while continuing my business.

Other children crying doesn't bother me at all but I would feel for the parent/child. Adults being loud and noisy in public is far more irritating. I'd take a crying baby on a bus rather than someone having a loud phone conversation.

Sligo1

Melany Careful Runway wrote: »

I am like your wife, to a certain extent. I can put up with the odd whinge but if one (or both!) of mine was really kicking up/crying, I would feel very embarrassed and I would leave. Funny thing is though, if I'm out and I see another parent with a screaming child, I always feel really sorry for the parent and I say to myself 'I hope that parent doesn't feel the need to leave because of their child'. Maybe I should go easier on myself!

+1. This is me to a T!

Sligo1

O but just to add... I do think it depends where you are. I went for a manicure (very rare occasion to get away from the kids for an hour) the last week at 5pm. There was a mother with a baby in there. Mid-mani the baby started crying. Now I have to say that really did annoy me. I don't think they should let babies into beauty salons for example. I would never bring mine in with me as I think it's quite inconsiderate to those who pay large sums of money to come and relax to have to hear a crying or sometimes screaming baby.

I understand it may have also been a rare occasion for that mother to get her nails done etc... But when mine were younger I went months and months without the pleasure of visiting a beauty salon.

Wizard!

Sligo1 wrote: »

I don't think they should let babies into beauty salons for example.

Agree, however there some cases you cannot do otherwise. Our families live thousand miles away, so no grandparents to leave the kid. Also, since we relocated before a few weeks, we do not know any babysitters and the kid does not stay calm when someone strange is supervising him. It will take time to get used to.

Sligo1

Wizard! wrote: »

Agree, however there some cases you cannot do otherwise. Our families live thousand miles away, so no grandparents to leave the kid. Also, since we relocated before a few weeks, we do not know any babysitters and the kid does not stay calm when someone strange is supervising him. It will take time to get used to.

The only time I ever get to a beauty salon is when my hubby comes home from work so I can nip off for an hour (and I feel guilty doing that). But I'd never take mine with me.

Cafes, shopping etc... I always feel really sorry for the parent. Usually it's my 2 (nearly 3 and 18month old) giving out... So I'm so relieved when it's not mine. Lol

questionmark?

Yes but only if the parent completely ignores the child or resorts to screaming/swearing at the child. Both making the situation worse! Children cry but it's the maturity of the parents that counts!

fro9etb8j5qsl2

That would drive me mental too Sligo!

livinsane wrote: »

Other children crying doesn't bother me at all but I would feel for the parent/child. Adults being loud and noisy in public is far more irritating. I'd take a crying baby on a bus rather than someone having a loud phone conversation.

Myself and my OH went out for dinner a few months back, it was the first bit of alone time we had since before our little girl was born so we went all out and booked a fancy restaurant and got dressed up. I was so looking forward to some child free time so imagine my horror when we were seated in a tiny corner at the back of the restaurant next to a couple who had brought their small baby and 4
toddler for a meal. In a posh restaurant. At almost 10 o clock in the evening :eek:

It taught me a good lesson about being a judgey pants actually. Because the kids were good as gold. The parents, however, were a different story. Loud, overbearing, helicoptery, obnoxious pain in the àrses :rolleyes:

pwurple

My local salon does not allow children. Mostly because it's way too dangerous, hot waxes, all sorts of chemicals waiting to be knocked over like acetone. Mental to bring children to that kind of place.

On shopping, I avoid it. I don't bring my own to a supermarket. It's of no value to them, no value to me, and pisses others off when they invariably lose interest and start playing up. Online shopping for us. I'll bring them to smaller shops to learn how to buy things,but I don't want to torture any of us with the trolley malarkey.

Babies do cry, and sometimes you get caught in public alright. I think as parents your own child's cries will just go through you. Other babies never bothered me as much as my own.

celligraphy

I always used to get so embarrassed /frustrated by my toddler crying , well whinging in public , but then I realised she's only a baby she's doesn't understand and if anyone has a problem with her whinging so be it.. it happens they are only small for a short time ,no point in ruining both our fun shopping together by worrying about other people's reactions

Ms2011

I must have the only child who enjoyed going shopping, never had to leave the supermarket due to him crying. He's in Montessori full time this year so I'm actually missing his company now when I go (I go first thing in the morning to avoid crowds).
The only time a crying child ever bothers me is when a parent is completely ignoring the child, if the parent is trying to sooth them my heart usually goes out to them as I've been that soldier

yellow hen

I completely agree with ms2011 re it depends on how the parent is behaving. My 2.5yr old has a speech delay and that combined with terrible twos is beginning to lead to tantrums sometimes when we're out. I'm mortified sometimes. They are the occasions when I want to tap him on the hand and waggle my finger but I feel like I'll be judged for doing that

mirrorwall14

Very very few toddlers or children crying bother me. One exception is an inlaws child who is 6, in senior infants and a month ago at a family event was lying on the floor screaming and hanging onto his mothers foot who was looking down at him smiling saying stop??! The child has no behavioural issues but he's spoiled completely rotten and the parents not only have no control over him, they think it's cute so don't even bother trying to fix things when he is bold.

Apart from them the only time I'd get annoyed is if a parent was doing something batty during a melt down

Wizard!

Today's tantrum:
We went for lunch on a local store. By the time we arrived, he was already asleep. We sat down, we ordered, we ate and minutes before we leave, he woke up. My wife tried to feed him (he had only breakfast until then), but he did not want to eat, while he noticed the saltshaker on the table. He started playing with it for 5-10 minutes, but at some point we had to leave. I gently asked him to hand it to me, he refused, so I had to take it. He started crying and stopped 40 minutes later. We sat him in his stroller and walked around so not staying in a single place for long to avoid disturbing the people around. During those 40 minutes, we talked to him, tried to hold him, tried to give him a hug, but he refused everything and kept crying.

Sligo1

Wizard! wrote: »

Today's tantrum:
We went for lunch on a local store. By the time we arrived, he was already asleep. We sat down, we ordered, we ate and minutes before we leave, he woke up. My wife tried to feed him (he had only breakfast until then), but he did not want to eat, while he noticed the saltshaker on the table. He started playing with it for 5-10 minutes, but at some point we had to leave. I gently asked him to hand it to me, he refused, so I had to take it. He started crying and stopped 40 minutes later. We sat him in his stroller and walked around so not staying in a single place for long to avoid disturbing the people around. During those 40 minutes, we talked to him, tried to hold him, tried to give him a hug, but he refused everything and kept crying.

That very frustrating for ye. You have my sympathies as this as happened to us on so many occasions! What I find helps is to have a little bag of tricks with u when u go out. Usually for distraction if anything. But sometimes that doesn't even work. I usually have a couple of little cars, some car keys, and something else I know they like to mess with. And also an apple and a small pack of 4 crackers. I'm very against food bribery (but so times needs must). Sometimes if u have to take something off them... Giving them something else (even a bit of paper) to play with can work. Having said that I've been known to walk out of a cafe once with a teaspoon rather than take it off himself (when he was about 12-18mths) rather than risk an utter nightmare meltdown which I know would've been imminent.. It only happened once and I'm not proud of it.... Lol. How old is your little one?

Wizard!

Sligo1 wrote: »

That very frustrating for ye. You have my sympathies as this as happened to us on so many occasions! What I find helps is to have a little bag of tricks with u when u go out. Usually for distraction if anything. But sometimes that doesn't even work. I usually have a couple of little cars, some car keys, and something else I know they like to mess with. And also an apple and a small pack of 4 crackers. I'm very against food bribery (but so times needs must). Sometimes if u have to take something off them... Giving them something else (even a bit of paper) to play with can work. Having said that I've been known to walk out of a cafe once with a teaspoon rather than take it off himself (when he was about 12-18mths) rather than risk an utter nightmare meltdown which I know would've been imminent.. It only happened once and I'm not proud of it.... Lol. How old is your little one?

Hi is 20mo.
We tried to give his something else, but did not want to. Also, his best option for treat, is his mother's iPhone. Not even close. He refused to trade anything for the saltshaker.

Anyway, my thing is, not to disturb the people around. If it is understood that sometimes this is inevitable, so be it.

Sligo1

Wizard! wrote: »

Hi is 20mo.
We tried to give his something else, but did not want to. Also, his best option for treat, is his mother's iPhone. Not even close. He refused to trade anything for the saltshaker.

Anyway, my thing is, not to disturb the people around. If it is understood that sometimes this is inevitable, so be it.

Yes I think most people understand what it is like with young children/babies/toddlers... For those that might raise their eyebrows... Well... I don't really think u should give them a second thought tbh. It's obvious you are trying your best (as most parents are) in a crap situation that is the meltdown moment.

mitresize5

out and about, shopping, playground, walking no issue with mine or other kids crying. That's life, it happens, we've all been there. Sympathy for the parents and kids. It will probably be mine the next time.

However if we're out for a nice lunch or evening meal and they start kicking off its remove them from the venue asap and deal with it outside. People have enough going on in their busy livea that they deserve a but of quiet time if they are out for a treat.

Dobbit

It used to bother me a lot when mine cried in public but less the older he gets (he's only 3 months now), any time I hear another child crying I'm too relieved it doesn't belong to me for the noise to bother me. I did see a toddler having a nasty tantrum in a toy shop yesterday and being carried out by her dad, kicking him all the while, my heart went out to the poor fella.

Diamond Doll

It's funny, I've always loved babies, but I've also always quite liked the sound of babies crying. I always just found it kind of fascinating, the way they can make such heartrending sounds, when really there's usually feck all wrong with them - a bit of milk or a cuddle or a nappy and they're sorted, I guess I sort of envied them the simplicity. That they could sound soooo heartbroken, when really, all of the problems in their lives could be fixed so quickly and easily.

Having had a child, I do realise it's not always that easy to sooth them (especially where medical conditions are involved etc.) But when my son was tiny, I did get a certain amount of satisfaction out of being able to fix his little problems, just like that. And then he'd just cuddle up on me and back to sleep. Makes me want to be a baby again!

I should clarify, when I say I liked the sound of babies crying, obviously I mean when their needs were being (or about to be) addressed. Nothing nice about a crying baby being ignored, for any length of time.

Wizard!

Diamond Doll wrote: »

Nothing nice about a crying baby being ignored, for any length of time.

What would you do if your baby/toddler was crying about, for example, a game that you cannot buy to him, or because you have to leave the playground, or because he/she pooped and you need to clean him/her ? If you let it "win", then he/she will do the same every time. I don't say to ignore it completely, but try to calm him/her down, without let his/hers achieve what he/she wants.

Sligo1

Wizard! wrote: »

What would you do if your baby/toddler was crying about, for example, a game that you cannot buy to him, or because you have to leave the playground, or because he/she pooped and you need to clean him/her ? If you let it "win", then he/she will do the same every time. I don't say to ignore it completely, but try to calm him/her down, without let his/hers achieve what he/she wants.

If my guy cries about not getting something he wants (nearly 3)... I try and distract him. If that doesn't work i speak to him very firmly. And if that doesn't work and I can't take him out of the situation and go home, I let him cry and try and ignore it. I might have people giving me dirty looks but I'd prefer my son was disciplined appropriately rather than be soothed by giving him exactly what he wants. I made that mistake when he was a baby. I would do anything to stop the public meltdowns as it not only stressed me out but I thought people were looking at me thinking I was a terrible mother. It did him NO GOOD whatsoever. And it's only in the last few months since I've changed my technique that he's learning that he doesn't get everything he wants! At least I could take that learning opportunity and use it with my little girl A LOT earlier on than I did with my guy.

Wizard!

Sligo1 wrote: »

I might have people giving me dirty looks but I'd prefer my son was disciplined appropriately rather than be soothed by giving him exactly what he wants.

Thanx Sligo, that is exactly what we are doing and what we have read about. That's why on my initial post I am asking if other people are annoyed. I am worried if they understand the concept of discipline and comforting your child, without spoiling it.

Sligo1

Wizard! wrote: »

Thanx Sligo, that is exactly what we are doing and what we have read about. That's why on my initial post I am asking if other people are annoyed. I am worried if they understand the concept of discipline and comforting your child, without spoiling it.

Lol... It's good to know I'm doing something right then . I hate to hear them cry but I think I'm doing what's best. Parents are always doubting themselves....