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Working with a manipulator!

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  • 28-10-2015 7:39pm
    #1
    Feckthis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭


    This is a long post but I would really appreciate any feedback/advice I don't know what to do!


    There is one guy I work with that keeps trying to take advantage of me.. Since I started back in February I helped him out everyway that I could. He doesn't have a car( lives 10 mins walk from a shop). He is always looking for something every week in work be that money, fags, lifts or wanting me to take time out of my break to go to the shop spend my money on what he wants and he will give me the money back on this day or that day or next week!.


    I mostly always agree as I don't like seeing anyone stuck. I can't say he never gives me back what he owes but there has been times were its mysteriously slipped his mind.

    He's a smoker that only has fags 3 out of the 5 or 6 days we work a week. He could ask me for 2 in the morning, 3 at break and another 2 in the evening. He always says I'll buy you 20 when I get to the shop. "Which means he's looking for a lift to the shop and back home in the evening with his groceries. And he would think very hard about handing over what he agreed or would come up with some excuse about his wife only leaving him €15 to spend" YA!.


    He has also offen asked me for money " saying how stuck he was and how I would get it back the next day. Which would turn into another excuse and then another excuse until a couple of days has passed he MIGHT give it back. " I think he is hoping I'll forget.

    Now anytime I have given him something I have never asked for it back. I believe if someone gives you something like money! You should not have to ask to get it back.

    Now it got to the stage where he was taking the piss so I had to ask for it back. Many times!!

    So I got sick of it one day. I wasn't rude to him. But when he asked me to go to the shop buy him fags and he will pay me back. I told him I wasn't taking time out of my break to go shop as I had my lunch with me. He then proceeded to beg me to go to the shop so I said look I have no money im short at the minute. He grunted at me and walked off. When I got back from lunch you could see he was mad. So I asked him what was wrong with him? He said I lied to him giving him excuses ha..That's rich coming from this fella. Anyway make a long story short I told him I wasn't his mammy and I didn't have to run around after him. We were very close to coming to blows!!

    So fast forward to TODAY! He asked me the same question will I go to the shop and buy him fags. I told him I forgot my wallet which I didn't just sick of him. He was very disrespectful towards me that morning so I said no way am I doing anything for him. So I got back from my lunch today. I put my feet in my boots and noticed my left boot was soggy and my foot was drowned.

    I kept going anyway as there wasnt much I could do, but I had a cut on my foot which started to sting then I knew it wasnt just water the ****-head had put in my boot so I took my sock off and it smelled like coolant or detergent he put in it.
    He denied any involvement in it. This guy is 40 years of age!! I am half that!. I know it was him as none of the rest of them would do it.!
    So basically on my next few days off I'm thinking of going to look for a new job so I don't have to deal with this arse hole. Or what can I do?


Comments

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    #2
    toptom
    Registered Users Posts: 195 ✭✭toptom


    Call the guards, that'll put manners on him What he done to youre shoe is criminal damage


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    #3
    huey1975
    Registered Users Posts: 493 ✭✭huey1975


    You should send him a link to this page.


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    #4
    Feckthis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Feckthis


    In order for people to get a better understanding of what's going on here
    I'll just leave these few details here about my friend ( Polish, lives here, wife lives in Poland(with kids), he claims for kids here and in Northern Ireland( gets FIS, medical card, everything), wife does the same in Poland. Gets paid more than me, won't buy a car, lives rent free, still takes everybody for what they have!!!


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    #5
    machiavellianme
    Registered Users Posts: 12,502 ✭✭✭✭machiavellianme


    Feckthis wrote: »
    In order for people to get a better understanding of what's going on here
    I'll just leave these few details here about my friend ( Polish, lives here, wife lives in Poland(with kids), he claims for kids here and in Northern Ireland( gets FIS, medical card, everything), wife does the same in Poland. Gets paid more than me, won't buy a car, lives rent free, still takes everybody for what they have!!!

    Report him. You'll never win in a situation like this.


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    #6
    Feckthis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Feckthis


    machiavellianme wrote: »
    Report him. You'll never win in a situation like this.

    Report him to who?


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    #7
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    Feckthis wrote: »
    In order for people to get a better understanding of what's going on here
    I'll just leave these few details here about my friend ( Polish, lives here, wife lives in Poland(with kids), he claims for kids here and in Northern Ireland( gets FIS, medical card, everything), wife does the same in Poland. Gets paid more than me, won't buy a car, lives rent free, still takes everybody for what they have!!!

    Approach him, tell him that you are stuck for cash and ask to borrow 20 quid from him, which you will repay 'tomorrow'. If he lends you the money, then then deduct whatever you are owed from him and take your time repaying him the balance.

    If he refuses to lend you anything, you'll have beaten him to the punch by asking him for money so you won't be in a position to lend him anything.

    Make a habit of asking him for cigarettes and money and he'll lose interest in you.

    Then wait several months so he won't know it was you and make an anonymous report to the Department of Social Protection and its Northern Ireland equivalent in relation to his claims for social welfare.

    Don't let him know it was you. He'll have such a headache dealing with all of his new problems that he won't be able to think about victimising anyone else, hopefully.


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    #8
    Feckthis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Feckthis


    Going to look for another job on Monday. As you said you can't win with fellas like that. I'd be happy to be rid of him at this stage


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    #9
    uck51js9zml2yt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,268 ✭✭✭✭uck51js9zml2yt


    I don't know the industry you're in but talk to your boss/hr and tell them you are being bullied into giving this guy money etc. Tell them you stopped giving into him and are now being intimidated by him.
    Bullying is a serious offence in the workplace .have you an employee handbook? What does it say?


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    #10
    bit of a bogey
    Registered Users Posts: 528 ✭✭✭bit of a bogey


    Feckthis wrote: »
    Going to look for another job on Monday. As you said you can't win with fellas like that. I'd be happy to be rid of him at this stage

    Do you like your job? If so, don't let this low life win anyway! Do exactly as Pat Mustard says. I wouldn't normally be one to recommend squealing but this lad seems like a leech to society and an excuse of a human being. If he tries any nonsense like the shoe again, confront him!


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    #11
    Feckthis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Feckthis


    Cara Straight Valet wrote: »
    I don't know the industry you're in but talk to your boss/hr and tell them you are being bullied into giving this guy money etc. Tell them you stopped giving into him and are now being intimidated by him.
    Bullying is a serious offence in the workplace .have you an employee handbook? What does it say?

    I don't have an employee handbook. I have confronted him about it and he has threatened me several times today. When He is trying to make a laugh about it. And when I show him I am serious about the issue he gets confrontational. He is denying it and trying to make out that I am paranoid.
    Or when I pass by him and smile and maybe whistle to show he is not bothering me he also gets very confrontational. He is being passive aggressive. He looks at me like he wants to fight me couple of minutes later and he could be talking normal to me. I don't know what's wrong with this guy! I told him I am not scared of him. He replied with you should be. I am honestly just waiting for **** to hit the fan!

    What way can I handle this situation better tomorrow?


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    #12
    Kristopherus
    Registered Users Posts: 11,907 ✭✭✭✭Kristopherus


    Feckthis wrote: »
    Report him to who?

    You can report him to Child Benefit in Letterkenny for illegally claiming C.B here while also claiming it in N.I. And you can report him to the Dept of Work & Pensions in Belfast re the same vice versa.If you know his wife's name, you can report him/her to the Polish Embassy here. With regard to the Medical Card, he is entitled to this under E.U. regulations. His use of the card here is charged to the Polish Dept of Health.


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    #13
    Canadel
    Registered Users Posts: 1,586 ✭✭✭Canadel


    I really cannot believe the op is a factual account of events. Not only has this person walked all over you and rubbed the sh*t off their boots onto you while at it, but they've actually criminally damaged your property i.e. literally your boot! Two words for you op the next time this guy so much as murmurs something towards you "FU*K OFF" and walk away. And report him in a few weeks as others have suggested.


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    #14
    0ph0rce0
    Registered Users Posts: 3,936 ✭✭✭0ph0rce0


    PM his details. I'll report the thieving ****


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    #15
    Severard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭Severard


    What an absolute scumbag! You should continue to remain "friends" with him, keep it going for several weeks (buying him stuff when he asks), When this tension between you two wears off, get evidence that he is claiming for all the things he does and then report him to the appropriate authorities. If you report him now, he'll know it was you.


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    #16
    Mrs OBumble
    Registered Users Posts: 25,839 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    Feckthis wrote: »
    In order for people to get a better understanding of what's going on here
    I'll just leave these few details here about my friend ( Polish, lives here, wife lives in Poland(with kids), he claims for kids here and in Northern Ireland( gets FIS, medical card, everything), wife does the same in Poland. Gets paid more than me, won't buy a car, lives rent free, still takes everybody for what they have!!!


    Do you actually have an evidence of any of this, or is it all just lines that he's fed you and you've believed? 'Cos frankly I'd not be believing it all (eg lives rent free? yeah, right).

    TBH, I think you should tell your manager about him interfering with you safety equipment (boots), and about the situation overall.


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    #17
    tommyboy2222
    Closed Accounts Posts: 914 ✭✭✭tommyboy2222


    Stop being a doormat OP. That should solve all your problems.


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    #18
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,297 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Feckthis wrote: »
    Or when I pass by him and smile and maybe whistle to show he is not bothering me he also gets very confrontational. He is being passive aggressive. He looks at me like he wants to fight me couple of minutes later and he could be talking normal to me. I don't know what's wrong with this guy! I told him I am not scared of him. He replied with you should be. I am honestly just waiting for **** to hit the fan!
    Report the bullying to HR, before he pulls the victim card.


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