Bi-Polar Drug Addict with Crippling Debts

LegacyUser

I am a recently diagnosed Bi-Polar, with serious drug addiction issues and debts and a failing business.

I have been taking my medication but it has not been working and I am getting more and more depressed. I owe money in the tens of thousands to drug dealers and fear of getting shot. My business is failing and I can't claim welfare as I am self-employed. I have no money whatsoever. I can't deal with all this stress at the moment. I feel like I am about to have a break down.

I can't afford to go to a doctor. I can't afford anything. I don't know what to do but my options are quickly narrowing. I don't know if there's any way out of this.

Shrap

I wouldn't know what to say about your other difficulties OP, but you can claim welfare if you aren't working enough to support yourself and you don't have to de-register as self employed anymore. This scheme has been in place since 2014. Hope that helps a little. Here's the relevant section in citizens information: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/unemployed_people/self_employed_and_unemployment.html

Ps. You could also qualify for a medical card. Go have a meeting with C.I. and see what the process is.

Rachiee

Re: the drug addiction check out Drugs.ie for services in your area (if you are interested in getting help with the addiction) not sure how to advise on the debt issue though.
Also if your meds aren't working for you make contact with your community mental health team to try to arrange to link back in with your psychiatrist problem be aware that whatever drugs you are taking could be adversely affecting your mental health and that could be the problem rather than your medication.

Meadhbus

Howdy, I'm bipolar too. I've no experience of addiction, so I can't help there, but I'll give you my advice, based on nothing more than my own experiences.

First off, you absolutely have to have a doctor. I'm pretty sure that after initially going to the GP, I was referred on to the out-patients at the local hospital, and all of that was free. I believe it did take a few weeks to get seen, but if it's an emergency they'll definitely prioritize you - now they see me every few months when I'm well, every week when I'm bad and they send me to a crisis nurse for daily counselling when I'm really bad. The GP I have at the moment has half an hour in the middle of the day when I can ring and talk to her without any cost - perhaps you could ring yours and ask for a referral? I don't see a problem if the GP is familiar with your situation.

How long have you been on the medication? A lot of them can take a few weeks - months to start working, particularly things like Lamictal etc. that you have to build up the doses for. If that's the case, I'd recommend going back to the p-doc who started you on the meds and asking for something stronger that will work immediately, short term, until the other stuff kicks in. Just stay away from anti-depressants, unless you really really need them. The doctor will keep an eye on that anyway, but they can trigger really bad manic episodes.

Another possibility is that particular medication is just never going to work for you - most often the first medication you're tried on doesn't work, usually for no good reason. It can take a lot of experimenting to get the right mix of medications. I was diagnosed 4, nearly 5, years ago and only in the last 6 months does it seem I've found the right balance of them, and I still have the occasional bad day (and mine's slightly seasonal and I haven't gotten to the bad part of the year yet, so we'll see how that goes).

But that being said, they do work. Like, a lot. They can pull you out of things in the short-term incredibly well, it's just in the long term (when you don't want to be taking the maximum dose all the time) that I've had issues.

There are a lot of other steps besides medication though. Things that help vary from person to person, but common ones are exercising, art, writing. Trying to get out of the house, meeting people, having proper meals and trying to do something productive help me a lot. The worst thing that I can do is lie in bed all day, staring at the ceiling. Which I do a lot of.

I hate counselling, but I know that it really helps a lot of people. There are some free options (JIGSAW, for under 25-ish, I think, and I'm sure there are more). Support groups too, but most of them are for people with uni-polar depression, which sort-of limits their understanding of what us bipolar people are going through.

Have you got a more spesific diagnosis? For example, I have seasonal bipolar type 2 with psychotic features. Which is a mouthful, but it basically means that at certain times of the year I'm worse than others, type 2 means my depressions are worse than my manias and psychosis is the occasional hallucination (seeing, hearing, sensing something that isn't real eg. a white fox in my backgarden a few months ago) or delusion (believing in something that isn't real, eg. the universe is talking to me through the sunlight). Anyway, my point is that having the more spesfic diagnosis helps me to know what to expect. But you usually learn more and more as you go on, and the symptoms can change a lot over time.

You say you're feeling like you might have a breakdown? Then you need to do something asap. If things are really bad (particularly if you are feeling suicidal, like you might hurt yourself, or you're psychotic - which a lot of bipolar people don't get) you can go to A&E, there's always a psychiatrist on call. They'll listen to what's going on, give you a prescription for any meds that need changing, and if they think you need it, they'll admit you. They usually refer you to a crisis nurse too, who'll keep an eye on you for a few weeks - couselling sessions as often as you need them and frequent phone calls to check in.

My biggest point is though, it is really really hard being treated. The medication is great, and it helps me have a normal life, but I have to say, I miss the buzz of being hypomanic sometimes, to the point of nearly stopping taking the medication. But then I remember how devastatingly dark and horrible the depressions are and it scares me straight.

If you have a close family member or friend, I'd recommend giving them guidelines on what to do if and when things get bad, for example, if I spend two days in bed, or start going for walks at three in the morning, my mother will ring the psychiatrist. If I stop taking meds, start having psychosis, or feel suicidal it's straight to A&E. It's better to overreact than to be balancing on the sides of bridges or leaving the country or stepping out in front of traffic.

Anyway, the important thing to remember is that no matter how bad the depression gets, it doesn't last. It's the nature of the illness - you will come out of it. It will get better. You just need time.

Sorry about the length of this, but I hope some of it helps. I think though, people who haven't experienced it just can't understand. I'd recommend doing a bit of research too - Kay Reidfeld Jamison's book "An Unquiet Mind" is a really good place to start (she's bipolar and a renowned psychiatrist, so she understands it from both angles.

Be safe.

Teafor two12345

I think this issue is a bit beyond what I can advise but I just wanted to say all the best in getting better and helping yourself. xx Don't lose hope.

Meadhbus

It won't let me link to the Aware website, because I'm a new user, but it has links to other charities that might be able to help. And I find it useful to keep track of my moods on an App (currently eMoods because it has a good graph). Helps me notice the sort of things that effect my mood - hours of sleep, forgetting to take meds.

I wish I could help with any of your other problems. Perhaps you could post on another board that might know more about the spesfics of the welfare situation?

Are you currently using? That's something you'd need to discuss with your p-doc as soon as possible. Besides the mental and physical health damage, it can't be helping financially. I spent some time in a rehab centre as a volunteer. The one I was in was a friendly supportive place. They're filled with normal people who are going through the same things as you are. They'll be able to help financially and mental health-wise too. And you'd be able to chill out and take a break from your life, somewhere safe.

There are a lot of supports out there, you just have to ask and be willing to do the work.

ETA: Every time I see this thread, I think of something else I wish someone had told me when I was first diagnosed.

You might qualify for a medical card. Even if your income is too high, they'll take the illness into account. If you do, any care you get, (doctors visits, hospitalisations etc.) will be free, and the medications, some of which are very expensive, will be 2.50 per medication.

amdublin

Please go to your doctor. She or he will help you and you will feel so much better after sharing.