Getting a goat

Dubl07

Or a flock of chickens or half a pig. You know the drill. You put some thought into choosing a gift for someone and save up the money to pay for it over some months while all the time paying your bills and quietly and without fanfare donating to charities you've researched and find to be effective instead of corporate.

Then you receive a card with a picture of a fekking donation "on your behalf" to a charity you don't care for. As your very virtuous Christmas present.

What's your irritation level from 0 (sure it's grand) to 10 (they're getting worn socks next year)?

Glitzgirl

Dubl07 wrote: »

Or a flock of chickens or half a pig. You know the drill. You put some thought into choosing a gift for someone and save up the money to pay for it over some months while all the time paying your bills and quietly and without fanfare donating to charities you've researched and find to be effective instead of corporate.

Then you receive a card with a picture of a fekking donation "on your behalf" to a charity you don't care for. As your very virtuous Christmas present.

What's your irritation level from 0 (sure it's grand) to 10 (they're getting worn socks next year)?

Ok I'm going to jump on this one because I doubt you will get a load of responses here or support. There are so many things wrong with this post I will have a hard time sounding sympathetic.

Firstly Christmas is a charitable time and a time of giving and helping others. If you are unhappy with the quality of your gift, or are annoyed that the gift someone graciously and selflessly bought for you to benefit someone who needs it, then I suggest you tell the person. Clearly they were under the misapprehension that you were a charitable person who would appreciate such a selfless gift and obviously need to be corrected on the matter.

I purchase a few of those gifts every year for a family member who has enough money to afford to buy whatever he wants. I purchase them for him because he also believes in helping others who are not as fortunate and can barely afford the basic necessities in life. It is money well spent in his opinion. Just because he doesn't benefit from it doesn't dimish it's value as a gift.

I suggest you ally yourself with others who think the same as yourself and maybe pre approve gifts in advance so no one is left feeling "disappointed ". Although to be fair you may have a hard time finding a group of people you can relate to... p.s I also donate toys and dog food to the local animal shelter and we as a family also buy a "feed a mammy and her pups " gift voucher. I hope to show my children that helping others that need it, people or animal, is basic human kindness. God forbid they ever grow up to receive a gift stating that school and medical supplies have been donated in their name to some poor child who has nothing and thinks "sure what the hell am I gonna do with this useless gift that doesn't benefit me at all "

December2012

I love to get them gifts actually. Truth is that I have enough to buy what I need and enjoy and I think it's a great way to get an effective use of money. I'm happy to help

sonny.knowles

I probably wouldn't ever speak to someone that knows me well and got me one of these 'gifts', they are one of the most selfish gifts I can think of, the giver gets the kudos and smarmy self satisfaction, while the alleged 'recipient' gets nothing. Buy a kid in Africa a donkey on your own dime, not mine please.

Dubl07

I contribute to quite a few charities, always ones that I'm sure spend the donations on those in need be they animals, people or environmental projects. Too many charities put the corporate interests ahead of the target beneficiaries so I'm careful to whom I donate.

If I receive something as a gift that I love or need, that frees up more of my income to donate to places of my choice. Buying me a charitable donation partially implies I'm too tight to donate myself. I donate on my dime and in my time. I may not bleat about it or send people printed receipts (what else can you call a gift-card of a goat?) but that's my choice. Encouraging people to donate on others' behalf is clever marketing. Succumbing to that marketing is often lazy and thoughtless.

Glitzgirl

Dubl07 wrote: »

I contribute to quite a few charities, always ones that I'm sure spend the donations on those in need be they animals, people or environmental projects. Too many charities put the corporate interests ahead of the target beneficiaries so I'm careful to whom I donate.

If I receive something as a gift that I love or need, that frees up more of my income to donate to places of my choice. Buying me a charitable donation partially implies I'm too tight to donate myself. I donate on my dime and in my time. I may not bleat about it or send people printed receipts (what else can you call a gift-card of a goat?) but that's my choice. Encouraging people to donate on others' behalf is clever marketing. Succumbing to that marketing is often lazy and thoughtless.

So in your first post you wanted to send the person who got you one of these useless gifts a worn sock to show your gratitude, yet your happy to donate and a charitable person in your second and it's all a marketing ploy? I'm sorry but your first post was clearly just a selfish rant about non appreciation for a gift that was of no use to you personally. Anyone who does donate to a charity of any kind and receives one of these gifts, while they may not have picked that particular charity, would be appreciative of the thought behind it and the fact that it is going to some charity. Prehaps since you are now changing your view on the matter you should simply tell the giver in future what charity you would appreciate a donation to on your behalf.

Glitzgirl

Just to add every charity now markets some type of scheme be it for Christmas or for weddings. It's hardly clever marketing on behalf of just one charity, so I don't know how quick I'd be to make that argument. Prehaps if someone got you these gifts and they knew you did donate they thought it would be something you would appreciate, or that person though you would appreciate the personal touch. Either way I am astounded by some of the replies to this topic. And while I do respect people are entitled to their own opinion I certainly wouldn't be coming onto a public board to complain about a present that someone bought for me with their money if it was meant to be thoughtful and sincere.

Dubl07

Glitzgirl wrote: »

So in your first post you wanted to send the person who got you one of these useless gifts a worn sock to show your gratitude, yet your happy to donate and a charitable person in your second and it's all a marketing ploy? I'm sorry but your first post was clearly just a selfish rant about non appreciation for a gift that was of no use to you personally.

The worn socks was a measure of frustration. Come on now. Be serious.

Anyone who does donate to a charity of any kind and receives one of these gifts, while they may not have picked that particular charity, would be appreciative of the thought behind it and the fact that it is going to some charity. Prehaps since you are now changing your view on the matter you should simply tell the giver in future what charity you would appreciate a donation to on your behalf.

I don't presume that I will get any gift. I just want people to think this year. That's why I've opened this thread in October. A charitable donation is laudable. Well done for making one from your income on your behalf. If you pay tax, the charity can gain extra benefits.

Glitzgirl wrote: »

Just to add every charity now markets some type of scheme be it for Christmas or for weddings. It's hardly clever marketing on behalf of just one charity, so I don't know how quick I'd be to make that argument. Prehaps if someone got you these gifts and they knew you did donate they thought it would be something you would appreciate, or that person though you would appreciate the personal touch. Either way I am astounded by some of the replies to this topic. And while I do respect people are entitled to their own opinion I certainly wouldn't be coming onto a public board to complain about a present that someone bought for me with their money if it was meant to be thoughtful and sincere.

Brother Kevin in the Capuchin Centre doesn't spend three fortunes on advertising. I'm regularly up and down to drop things in even though parking is a pain in the butt. He also gets funds electronically when I've funds to spare. Funding for small rescues and environmental or disaster appeals, ditto. When I refer to marketing campaigns, I'm talking about the charities which get huge amounts of money and spend huge amounts on advertising and administration. I'm not about to name names - you'll have to do your own research there. Too few people have the inclination. It's easier to buy some gift-cards and feel a rosy glow. It's the opposite of thoughtful.

feelgoodinc27

A gift is just that a gift I don't expect anything of it nor is it something to judge people by. I think its childish to not be appreciative of someone giving you a gift.

GrayFox208

This thread has disappointed me. I thought you got an actual goat for Christmas.

GrayFox208

feelgoodinc27 wrote: »

A gift is just that a gift I don't expect anything of it nor is it something to judge people by. I think its childish to not be appreciative of someone giving you a gift.

How is someone giving a charity you're not interested with money a gift? Hey I bought myself some oil for my tank today. But I told the guy the money was from you. Happy Christmas.

Glitzgirl

I'm not getting dragged into a debate with a person who is flip flopping all over the place. Your initial post was not to encourage people to research into charities or to ask a person what charity they would like to make a donation to on your behalf as a gift. Your initial post was nothing more than a rant of a spoilt child. If my child acted so ungrateful after receiving a well meaning gift i would be devestated that I had failed him so much in his warped sense of Christmas and charitable values. I'm sorry, I don't care if you donate to every shelter , appeal or cause going, no body in their right mind would be so ungrateful and offended to receive a gift just because it didn't benefit them. Asking people how strongly frustrated they would be upon receiving such a present just proves my point here? People should he grateful for any gift they receive if your not then I strongly suggest you tell the giver because I'm sure they would be deeply hurt and offended that they had wasted their money giving a well meaning gift to someone so narrow minded and selfish.

GrayFox208

Glitzgirl wrote: »

I'm not getting dragged into a debate with a person who is flip flopping all over the place. Your initial post was not to encourage people to research into charities or to ask a person what charity they would like to make a donation to on your behalf as a gift. Your initial post was nothing more than a rant of a spoilt child. If my child acted so ungrateful after receiving a well meaning gift i would be devestated that I had failed him so much in his warped sense of Christmas and charitable values. I'm sorry, I don't care if you donate to every shelter , appeal or cause going, no body in their right mind would be so ungrateful and offended to receive a gift just because it didn't benefit them. Asking people how strongly frustrated they would be upon receiving such a present just proves my point here? People should he grateful for any gift they receive if your not then I strongly suggest you tell the giver because I'm sure they would be deeply hurt and offended that they had wasted their money giving a well meaning gift to someone so narrow minded and selfish.

Well meaning gift? THEY DONATED MONEY TO A CHARITY AND SAID HEY THATS FROM MY FRIEND. YEAH. ISNT HE GREAT. HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

Glitzgirl

GrayFox208 wrote: »

How is someone giving a charity you're not interested with money a gift? Hey I bought myself some oil for my tank today. But I told the guy the money was from you. Happy Christmas.

Completely ridiculous comparison. The giver doesn't actually get the medical supplies or the goat as you well know, so please don't imply that people who buy these gifts are that selfish or moronic. A gift is a gift. Appreciate it or tell the giver the founation or charity you do support so you won't feel so hard done by.

GrayFox208

Glitzgirl wrote: »

Completely ridiculous comparison. The giver doesn't actually get the medical supplies or the goat as you well know, so please don't imply that people who buy these gifts are that selfish or moronic. A gift is a gift. Appreciate it or tell the giver the founation or charity you do support so you won't feel so hard done by.

No, but in the OP's case the receiver got a physical gift, the OP receives sweet **** all.

Glitzgirl

Gray fox 208, the gift was hardly purchased out of some sort of selfish deed was it? I'm sure the person buying it bought it as a well meaning gift knowing it was going to support a good cause. I frequently receive these gifts. I actually received one on my behalf for a donkey sanctuary. The giver knew I'd appreciate the thought behind it. Did I get offended because I couldn't use the gift or complain because it wasn't a pre approved charity of my choice? No. I accepted it graciously and later that year took my son to visit the donkey that was sponsored in my name.

Bacchus

I agree with the OP that it's a strange "gift" to give to someone. If you want to make a donation, do it yourself, why involve an unsuspecting 3rd party?

If you would prefer to see your money go to a charity rather than a gift, then at least let the person know in advance. Maybe ye can both do it then. Otherwise, the person buying the charity gift gets the kudos for saving some child in Africa and for being above the commercialism of Christmas, while at the same time they (likely) receive an actual gift from the person who they made the donation for.

I done this before for Christmas and Valentines but I've always been upfront and the recipient did the same for me in return. If I went to the effort of getting a thoughtful gift for someone that I know they will enjoy and in return I got a letter telling me they made a charity donation and stuck my name on it, I'd be disappointed.

Glitzgirl

GrayFox208 wrote: »

No, but in the OP's case the receiver got a physical gift, the OP receives sweet **** all.

I think you've hit on the whole point of this thread. The OP is put out because they didn't get a physical gift. Not some nonsense later on about if it was a different charity and marketing. This is purely in my opinion because one person gave a gift and got what them deemed to be a gift of no value. Which is shameful in my opinion. It's a really selfish attitude to have to Christmas and gifts in general. Unless you communicate your feelings on a particular charity to people that give you gifts you can't really complain after the fact. This smacks of children in a school yard complaining "but they got the better one".

Bacchus

Glitzgirl wrote: »

I think you've hit on the whole point of this thread. The OP is put out because they didn't get a physical gift. Not some nonsense later on about if it was a different charity and marketing. This is purely in my opinion because one person gave a gift and got what them deemed to be a gift of no value. Which is shameful in my opinion. It's a really selfish attitude to have to Christmas and gifts in general. Unless you communicate your feelings on a particular charity to people that give you gifts you can't really complain after the fact. This smacks of children in a school yard complaining "but they got the better one".

The selfish attitude in the scenario the OP describes is from the person "gifting" a donation to the person without letting them know in advance. If they are happy to donate a gift, they should have the decency to let the receiver know so that they can simply make a similar gift in return (and/or identify a charity they support).

Glitzgirl

Bacchus wrote: »

The selfish attitude in the scenario the OP describes is from the person "gifting" a donation to the person without letting them know in advance. If they are happy to donate a gift, they should have the decency to let the receiver know so that they can simply make a similar gift in return (and/or identify a charity they support).

Well that's the difference isn't it ? In my opinion the person who received a gift and install felt put out because the gift wasn't big enough, or the same amount of money spent, or wasn't something that could benefit them is the selfish one Not the buyer. There will always be people who have conflicting opinions or beliefs etc and those who support each side. But Christmas is a time of charity and giving and your going to complain that a person fulfilled both by thinkin they were buying something meaningful, just because you didn't get something you could open or use on Christmas day? How anyone can justify that I don't know!

Anyway, you've come to post on the Christmas forum a place filled with some of the nicest people on boards who understand the spirit of Christmas and the joy it brings people. You won't get much support here for that kind of selfish attitude. The fact that I don't recognise any of the names from the usual boards Christmas posts should sum that up nicely

And if any of the usual are reading this I personally would not object to a real goat for Christmas. They are all over you tube and just adorable and I need one : )

GrayFox208

Glitzgirl wrote: »

Well that's the difference isn't it ? In my opinion the person who received a gift and install felt put out because the gift wasn't big enough, or the same amount of money spent, or wasn't something that could benefit them is the selfish one Not the buyer. There will always be people who have conflicting opinions or beliefs etc and those who support each side. But Christmas is a time of charity and giving and your going to complain that a person fulfilled both by thinkin they were buying something meaningful, just because you didn't get something you could open or use on Christmas day? How anyone can justify that I don't know!

Anyway, you've come to post on the Christmas forum a place filled with some of the nicest people on boards who understand the spirit of Christmas and the joy it brings people. You won't get much support here for that kind of selfish attitude. The fact that I don't recognise any of the names from the usual boards Christmas posts should sum that up nicely

And if any of the usual are reading this I personally would not object to a real goat for Christmas. They are all over you tube and just adorable and I need one : )

So do you give your gifts away to charity? Since it's all about giving and charity.

Glitzgirl

GrayFox208 wrote: »

So do you give your gifts away to charity? Since it's all about giving and charity.

Please read some of my other posts if your looking to judge my character before you ask that question. And in answer to that very scathing question, yes and no. I appreciate a gift given to me. If it is something that is no use to me or I already have I will donate it to a local shelter that is greatly in need and one that I have now taken my father in laws place on the board of directors. (as he passed away from cancer last year and was a founding member, ) ill be the first to say I love Christmas and indulge in its commercialism. With a disabled child in my house we tend to want him to have the best memories we can give him. We also teach him the meaning of Christmas and he will thank anyone who gives him a gift of any kind. As will any other decent human being.

Please don't try and attack me just because you don't like my answer or opinions gray fox 208. What you did was childish and a very scathing and cheap diversion tactic which has clearly back fired

Glitzgirl

This post was never about people not giving to charity it was about people who receive charitable gifts and are too selfish and greedy to appreciate them. Particularly if they havent made their feelings clear on a particular charity known .

syklops

Humbug! Humbug!

Mint humbug anyone?

Dubl07

Glitzgirl wrote: »

This post was never about people not giving to charity it was about people who receive charitable gifts and are too selfish and greedy to appreciate them. Particularly if they havent made their feelings clear on a particular charity known .

If I give a gift to, say, Abortion Rights Ireland or a Gay rights organisation on behalf of an Opus Dei individual, a gift of a couple of turkeys to the Capuchins on behalf of a vegan I'm not being thoughtful. If I spend my gift budget on a corporation that has charitable status and very well-paid executives, I'm not being thoughtful. Someone questioning my judgement is not being selfish or greedy.

If I get a pre-printed card saying someone has paid for half a donkey with their name scribbled on the bottom of the card, I can pretty much guarantee that they've thrown money at Christmas and don't care to engage their brain to remember the charities I volunteer for now or in the past and currently support. They're putting glitz over substance.

Loughc

Hey guys,

Both sides of this argument have been made and I can see both points we're just going around in circles now and we're running the risk of having the traditional post dinner Christmas argument :pac:

It's time to put this debate to bed so I'm locking the thread.