I think I'm not mentally ok

Backpack20

Hi this is very hard to write at the moment so please don't nag me for grammar and way it's written. I'm 20 years old and at the moment , well the past 2 months I've been feeling fairly down and not great. I'm currently doing a plc course , I was doing a college course in limerick for two years but dropped out. Although I hate been back in first year it was for the right decision and I'm finally happy with the course I'm doing now . It's just I can get very down and when I say that , I mean upset and really really annoyed with my life . I'm always over thinking things. I also hate been by myself and in my own company, your mind starts to race and you start analysing every part of your life . I also should add that my best friend died of suicide last year and that effected my massively in allot of ways . Also it's my 21st birthday this weekend and I tried to plan to have a few people over and have a few cans but it just didn't work out . I just worry when I get into these really bad moods and when I get upset that it could lead to something further .

ArtyC

I think you're quite brave dropping a course for one that you're happier with. So many just continue on unhappy on course just because it's a easier option. I know I did. I admire you for that.

As for the get together that fell through, happens to us all. I was feeling low Sunday as everyone had plans away or work/ family commitments. I know this. I've had to turn down invites myself because of this.

Does your college offer any free medical advice? Maybe some bereavement counselling?

I

Taltos

OP really you should go and talk to your family GP or another GP you trust. Explain to them how you've been feeling and how things like failed plans are upsetting you and also the impact of your friends suicide. There are loads of things they can suggest to you and can refer you to some local CBT courses, or similar where you'll be taught the skills to deal with these types of things.

One thing to keep in mind is that crap happens sometimes, crap that really you have zero control over. All you can control is how you react when bad things happen. That's were these lessons and skills come into play. Through a lot of hard work and repetition you can retrain yourself in how to not only accept in a constructive way the bad crap, but also how to do even better and succeed. You've a choice here, you can try to struggle through yourself - possible, but tough and full of times where you might fall harder, or you can go and get help from someone specially trained to help you help yourself. There isn't a magic instant cure here but there is with the right assistance loads you can do...
(Focusing on the right here as some GPs don't have a clue, no disrespect, just from my own experience, if your GP won't/can't help you go and seek another...).

Saipanne

Definitely check to see if there are mental health services available at college. They'll be free.

Rubberchikken

hi op
you're very strong to have decided to change course and i'm glad you're doing one you like.
but you've been through a lot and need support and may need to talk to someone. your gp would be a good first step. they can put you in touch with a counsellor if you feel that would help.
i'm sorry that you lost your friend to suicide. that's very hard to deal with and sometimes at the time, we manage. but it's only a while, maybe a year later, that it starts to hit home, the finality of it.

don't feel you're on your own, because you aren't. take care

SATSUMA

You are so brave to acknowledge how you are feeling. I lost a friend to suicide and it changed the course of my life. Now that I'm older and slightly wiser I would tell my younger self to go get counselling. It's the best ever once you find the right person. If your college provides counselling grab it! Check out aware.ie they might put you in the right direction also. The only way out of those horrible feelings is to go through them, but you need a little help, support and understanding. Trust me it will get better but only if you are supported. Best of luck.

Monkeysgomad

Backpack20 wrote: »

Hi this is very hard to write at the moment so please don't nag me for grammar and way it's written. I'm 20 years old and at the moment , well the past 2 months I've been feeling fairly down and not great. I'm currently doing a plc course , I was doing a college course in limerick for two years but dropped out. Although I hate been back in first year it was for the right decision and I'm finally happy with the course I'm doing now . It's just I can get very down and when I say that , I mean upset and really really annoyed with my life . I'm always over thinking things. I also hate been by myself and in my own company, your mind starts to race and you start analysing every part of your life . I also should add that my best friend died of suicide last year and that effected my massively in allot of ways . Also it's my 21st birthday this weekend and I tried to plan to have a few people over and have a few cans but it just didn't work out . I just worry when I get into these really bad moods and when I get upset that it could lead to something further .

Hey, I was in the same situation as you for a while. I'm 17 though and still in school (just about). Well done on changing your course, I haven't a clue on what I'm going to do and it's better that you changed to something you like.

I, in theory, had a great upbringing - no money worries, great house nice area, new cars and both my parents. Yet there was days I could not physically get up. I was so down about my life and saw nothing worthwhile. At the end of summer or just into September I went to my doctor. It was such a hard step to get there, but I was afraid if I didn't I would do something stupid. I know everyone says it but just go and talk to them. It will get you out of this current place your in.

Everyone over thinks things especially when your young and your mind is racing. But sometimes just stopping and forgetting about the world for a bit can help. Please go see a doctor or just talk to someone - remember a problem shared is a problem halved.

Happy birthday by the way - and plans always fall through just try organise something again

Sunflower 27

Hi there,

Am sorry you are feeling this way. Dealing with a friend's suicide is very traumatic. did you speak to anyone about this? You then changed college courses - another big life stress.

At age 20, it is difficult to see your life beyond your present circumstances. I remember being your age (a long time ago for me now), and it was a tough time finding out who you are, what you want to be.

I really suggest you seek out some counselling, especially when you are starting to feel so down yourself.

You have had a lot of heartache in your life recently. Be kind to yourself and be open to some support.

You will get through this difficult time. Life can be full of amazing opportunities when we are in a good place mentally. You can get through this. I really wish you well.