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Preforming monkey!!!

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  • 20-10-2015 5:33pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭


    This is a bit of a rant more than anything. So we had our little guys 21 month milestone check up today, and I have to say I've never been so angry with someone. I really felt like I was the worst parent in the world when he wouldn't do some of the circus tricks she wanted him to do, looking all worried and concerned when he couldn't point to the f*cking armchair or lamp in the picture book, or not having the patience to put the shapes in the jigsaw, firstly she is a stranger to him so he was acting a bit shy. And it was a brand new place for him, so he was too busy looking around to do half the things she wanted him to do. I know I am probably being stupid, but it really got to me. Also saying he should have 15 or more clear words at this age, well he doesn't, but he understands everything you say, and then very concerned when she asked does he love to play imagination games like feeding and giving his teddy tea and cake, umm well he's never had either of those things so no he doesn't, and her response-oh yeah babies that age love imagination games. Well my child isn't like every other kid then I guess, my guy loves playing with Lego and balls and cars and running around getting mucky.
    Height, weight and head measurements all perfect which was good.
    But I really left the place feeling very inadequate.
    Maybe I'm over reacting, but I'd love to know if some of these women have kids themselves and how perfect they are.

    Sorry rant over!!!


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 771 ✭✭✭afkasurfjunkie


    Coopaloop wrote: »
    This is a bit of a rant more than anything. So we had our little guys 21 month milestone check up today, and I have to say I've never been so angry with someone. I really felt like I was the worst parent in the world when he wouldn't do some of the circus tricks she wanted him to do, looking all worried and concerned when he couldn't point to the f*cking armchair or lamp in the picture book, or not having the patience to put the shapes in the jigsaw, firstly she is a stranger to him so he was acting a bit shy. And it was a brand new place for him, so he was too busy looking around to do half the things she wanted him to do. I know I am probably being stupid, but it really got to me. Also saying he should have 15 or more clear words at this age, well he doesn't, but he understands everything you say, and then very concerned when she asked does he love to play imagination games like feeding and giving his teddy tea and cake, umm well he's never had either of those things so no he doesn't, and her response-oh yeah babies that age love imagination games. Well my child isn't like every other kid then I guess, my guy loves playing with Lego and balls and cars and running around getting mucky.
    Height, weight and head measurements all perfect which was good.
    But I really left the place feeling very inadequate.
    Maybe I'm over reacting, but I'd love to know if some of these women have kids themselves and how perfect they are.

    Sorry rant over!!!

    In all fairness it's their job and like the rest of us they have paperwork and boxes that need to be ticked. And often they know well that the little fella in front of them would rather be sitting in a sandpit or kicking a ball but unfortunately that's not on the sheet that they have to be seen to be ticking.


  • Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭Coopaloop


    In all fairness it's their job and like the rest of us they have paperwork and boxes that need to be ticked. And often they know well that the little fella in front of them would rather be sitting in a sandpit or kicking a ball but unfortunately that's not on the sheet that they have to be seen to be ticking.

    Oh I totally get that, and was saying that to myself the whole time I was in there, I'm sure they have a list of things that they have to ask etc...


  • Registered Users Posts: 364 ✭✭ScottStorm


    You are far from on your own on this, as a man I have found the public health nurse to be an aggravation and a hindrance more than a benefit.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    You don't have to do these checks. You can opt out if you feel they are of no benefit.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Lol, mine did those checks recently as well. I have to say the book is quite old... That Apple looks bloody nothing like an apple!

    Also, wouldn't believe me that she has any words at all, because she hid behind my leg and wouldn't say a word... Until we were going, then the toddler pulls out the big waves and "Bye Bye, see you soon".

    I did enjoy being told my child was in the 98th percentile for height. Wow I thought, she will be way taller than me so! But the PHN did a bit of a tut and said "we prefer them to be closer to 50th percentile" . No suggestions for shortening her though. :pac:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,729 ✭✭✭Millem


    We did those checks too back at the start of September! My guy refused to talk to her. and completely ignored her. He was too busy throwing a ball around the room! lol my phn said nothing about height or weight suprisingly as my boy weighed 16.2kg :eek:

    I told her all the words he has and she took me for my word! She said they are more checking for social skills at the check up and looking for signs for autism??? My phn is a bit all over the place so I don't know know how true that is ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,344 ✭✭✭Diamond Doll


    No word on ours yet, although I've been following up on it. My son's a good bit behind for his age so I really want to get it done, see if he needs any supports etc. He's OK with social skills, but has the vocabulary of a one year old (he's two in January.) Poor little fella has been through a lot in recent months (my ex and I broke up) so I guess that's a lot to do with it. :(


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    It is just box ticking and once there was nothing alarming,ignore it.
    If there was anything accept any further referrals that they offer.
    One of mine got referred for speech therapy at about the same age,he had a good vocabulary but was lazy with pronunciation of some words,he doesn't need it if he did I would have gone privately.

    I bought my 2 year old son for an eye test and he got really really upset and refused to speak,I have no idea why as it is not like him at all.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Just don't go again. Most of them are completely inept.


  • Registered Users Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Roselm


    Coopaloop wrote: »
    I really felt like I was the worst parent in the world when he wouldn't do some of the circus tricks she wanted him to do,

    But she's not judging you!
    She's just trying to find out if he is understanding age appropriately and using words age appropriately.
    She's there to help him if he needs it.
    She knows that all children develop at different rates but she's trying to find out if yours is below the average range in which case she'd get some help for him to get up to speed.
    It's not supposed to be a criticism.
    Are you angry because she worried you?


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  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Wouldnt worry too much about it, but I can understand why you were rattled. I was given a book on nutrition, despite the fact I lovingly pureed every organic vegetable and fruit known to mankind for a year of weaning. To this day the child will only drink water or milk, and eats made-from-scratch nutritional meals. But because I had to bribe my uncopoerative wee man onto the weighing scales for the PHN with chocolate buttons I must have been immediately pegged as a mother who made her kid mainline red bull or something. So she made a follow up appointment to check his obesity levels. He's a visibly lean toddler.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,268 ✭✭✭✭uck51js9zml2yt


    My 22 month old won't have a chance at his checkup :)
    Not a word spoken but he understands 2 languages and will play the toy piano for us and show us he wants something in the kitchen( it was cucumber in the fridge which he gave his mother to cut up this week)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭dori_dormer


    I'm terrified of mine too! Currently 20mths, no words really only grunts and copying sounds like dinosaurs go raar! Hates pointing and has no patience for jigsaws. Like yours loves cars and running around like a lunatic.

    He's getting a speech assessment done soon though so at least I'll have that to give her


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,344 ✭✭✭Diamond Doll


    How did you get the speech assessment dori_dormer ... Do you have to be referred for it or can you self refer?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭dori_dormer


    We are in Germany for this year and it came up on an English speakers in Germany facebook group to get your child tested in English ( as they'd almost likely would fail the german one!) so I said what the hell, sign him up. Can't do any harm.

    We'll be coming home when he turns 2, so I'll be going to the phn anyway and getting him on that list asap. Would go private if needs be though

    Sorry I'm not too helpful!


  • Registered Users Posts: 471 ✭✭jennyhayes123


    You go to your phn and raise your concerns and ask to be put on the referral for speech therapy list, don't take no for an answer as the list is ridiculously long. My almost 5 year old is on the urgent waiting list for probably close to 3 years now, he has only ever had assessments up to now and the almost 3 year old has only ever had 2 assessments. Lists are so long so get name down. ASAP


  • Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭Coopaloop


    You go to your phn and raise your concerns and ask to be put on the referral for speech therapy list, don't take no for an answer as the list is ridiculously long. My almost 5 year old is on the urgent waiting list for probably close to 3 years now, he has only ever had assessments up to now and the almost 3 year old has only ever had 2 assessments. Lists are so long so get name down. ASAP

    The waiting list for everything is unreal and I'd say it has something to do with children having their names down just for the sake of it, I'll give you this example : on one of the first visits we had with the phn she went through the normal routine questions of family history etc...neither me or my OH have bad eyesight, its perfect in fact, nor do any of my family, however my OH sister has an illness as do her children and it causes bad eyesight, my OH does not have this illness nor do I or my son, his eyes checked perfect when she did the follow a light thing, and he's like a nija to see things if your trying to hide something, or spot his grandad in a crowd at a match on TV, but her response at the time was ah sure we'll stick his name down to be checked just in case, sure its no harm, that was a year and a half ago, we got a letter last week to say the list was so long and did we still want the app, I asked my doc was it necessary and she couldn't understand why he was on the list, and said no wonder all the waiting lists are so long if this is what the referrals are based on, now I understand if there is genuine cause for concern to put a name down, but I would guess a lot of the time there isn't.


  • Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭Coopaloop


    I see none of us are benefiting from the clocks going back an hour this morning?!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭dori_dormer


    We made it to new time 7am. Not too shabby lol!


  • Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭Coopaloop


    We made it to new time 7am. Not too shabby lol!

    Ha, us too, it would have been too ambitious to hope for more.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 824 ✭✭✭rsl1976


    I have to say I feel better after reading some of the posts here. My daughter will be 2 in January and at her recent checkup there was some concern from the PHN about her lack of words. As others here have said she talks away to herself and she understands what I am saying do not going to worry yet.

    What I found bizarre was she asked if daughter could feed and dress herself yet??


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭dori_dormer


    rsl1976 wrote: »
    I have to say I feel better after reading some of the posts here. My daughter will be 2 in January and at her recent checkup there was some concern from the PHN about her lack of words. As others here have said she talks away to herself and she understands what I am saying do not going to worry yet.

    What I found bizarre was she asked if daughter could feed and dress herself yet??

    My boy could feed himself since 6 months old, as we did baby led weaning. He attempts to undress himself, as in pulling off sleeves, socks , shoes to 'help' me as I'm doing it but he has no desire to put on trousers or anything as he loves being naked lol!

    I wouldn't think a 2 yr old would have much inclination to get dressed on their own.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    My boy could feed himself since 6 months old, as we did baby led weaning. He attempts to undress himself, as in pulling off sleeves, socks , shoes to 'help' me as I'm doing it but he has no desire to put on trousers or anything as he loves being naked lol!

    I wouldn't think a 2 yr old would have much inclination to get dressed on their own.
    Absolutely! My son is 3 and a half and he can dress himself but most of the time he can't be bothered! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Funnily enough I know a HSE speech therapist and when we were talking about this one day she said that at the age of two, they don't generally try to get a child to say their words...they more ask the parents what words the child has, and then take their word for it.They work with the parents giving them exercises to do with the child for speech, rather than directly with the child themselves (generally).

    My little one is 16 months and quite a talker for her age, but do you think I have a hope of her ever saying anything on command for a stranger (or for granny/grandad/aunties/friends)??nope! And I'm ok with that, such are toddlers :-)


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