New job worry

Jayjay29

Hey guys,

I actually just created this profile to look for advice. For me its a very embarrasing subject. I guess I suffer from mild social anxiety although I was never diagnosed I know I meet the criteria.

Anyhow I have been really trying to push myself lately to get over it. I started a new job (male nurse) recently and I love my work but I am constantly worrying if people like me. I feel I am very pleasant and nice to be around but sometimes when I'm getting to know new people my voice gets a bit shaky and I say awkward things.

Like yesterday in the canteen I was meeting one of the other new nurses who started too and my hands were slightly trembling and my voice was a little shaky. We spoke for quite awhile and despite my nervousness I feel I come across well but I always fear that they view my anxiety as a character flaw. Everyone else appears so confident and self assured

I was bullied years ago and I guess this has dented my confidence a bit. Meeting new people can be such a challenge for me. Do you feel that people are generally forgiving of nervous folk? I just hope that its not too noticable

Thank you so much for any responses on the matter!
J

Mrs OBumble

Jayjay29 wrote: »

Do you feel that people are generally forgiving of nervous folk?

Yes.

Most people are far more forgiving of nervous folk than they are of arrogant prats.


Maybe you should make an appointment with a a counsellor or similar to help you work things out a bit more.

LegacyUser

OP I hear you. I manage a team, and I'm incredibly shy and nervous. I find it so difficult when I go into meetings with my team and have to lead the meetings - even though I know them all very well. I also got told by someone more senior one day to 'speak up, your opinion is valid'. I spoke with my direct manager about it one day, and he understood, and now when I'm in meetings and I start to struggle, he just takes over and I'm so grateful. We've got it down to a fine art now where it's seamless and nobody else notices.
I also struggle meeting new people, regardless of whether it's socially or at work. I went through my 20's with horrific anxiety, but now I tend to find one or two people who I can trust, and I tell them I'm shy, and it's incredible how often they say exactly the same thing, and we help each other through.
All I'd say is it's absolutely not a character flaw. It can be frustrating, and upsetting, but as Mrs OBumble says, 'people are far more forgiving of nervous folk than of arrogant prats'. It's very very true. If you managed to hold a reasonably long conversation with someone you hadn't met before and came across OK- you're doing just fine :-) And even if they did notice the slight shaking, next time you'll be more confident with him / her and it will be forgotten. Good luck!

zoobizoo

I would suggest having a read of The Feeling Good Handbook - lots of good tips in there.

I went through similar in my 20s in workplaces.

Just because people appear confident, doesn't mean that they are. Some people just fake it til they make it. Anxiety, while a bitch, isn't a character flaw in the same way that confidence isn't.

It's easy to be hard on yourself and beat yourself up but the book I recommended above will show you that no one else would treat you as badly as you treat yourself.

People are forgiving of nervous people and I would presume in the nursing profession, they might be even more so.