Get depressed after spending time with best friend

Jollyone!

Due to financial and health problems of late we are unable to start a family yet and I am getting worried that it will never happen for us.

My best friend recently had a gorgeous new baby, moved into a gorgeous new house and herself and her husband are both doing well in their careers.

I enjoy spending time with her and am happy for her but I get really depressed afterward, sometimes for days. She has everything I want and thought I'd have by now and although I don't begrudge her it's difficult to be reminded of all I don't have.

What can I do?

Ann84

I'm sorry to hear of your issues but if you want to continue your friendship, you have to stop projecting, there are millions of people in the world, richer, poorer, having 8 kids, having no kids, having no husband, having no parents, being born into poverty.. Etc....
Why do you look at your FRIEND as a someone who has everything you don't?!? Is she a millionaire with no worries in the world and a perfect stress free life?!?
Friends are just friends... People who care about you and you about them, that you get on with, have memories with, share your life with!!! harsh advice, stop projecting your stresses on her, her life is not everything you want, she is just your friend and happens to be going through a life stage that you also thought you'd be going through...

If you can't focus on being friends, sharing your stresses and talking to her about everything your going through but being happy for her, then leave her alone for a while and pick up in a few years when the dust settles for you as its not her fault no more than yours...

LegacyUser

Well first of all, I would say to stop saying you get depressed for a few days because that's not really depression.

It can be tough. I've been in the situation myself. I had a job interview and turns out a girl in my course had an interview for the same job. Interviewer called me to say the girl they hired had a bit more experience. Didn't know it was her until I saw her post on FB about how delighted she was to get it, and how she met loads of people in the industry who I've always admired. But you know, these things happen. What's meant for you will find you.

The only advice I can give is to remember maybe this isn't the way you planned life to go, but it never follows a plan. In the Sunscreen song there's a line - "the race is long but in the end its only with yourself." Maybe there is some sort of biological clock ticking, but that's all.

Have you spoken to a GP about the health issues? Best to get them sorted now, and then when your financial issues are sorted you'll be ready to go.

Lux23

If I compared myself to friends I would be depressed too. I would love to have a child but I am renting a crappy flat and we just don't have the money to move at the moment. But things could be a lot worse so maybe you need to stop comparing yourself to other people.

beauf

You need to balance it with time spent with people in a more similar situation to your own.