looks like my gf has a problem with my ears

greznik913

here is the deal...

My ears are sticking out a bit – similar to Will Smith’s. I was quite unconfident about it, for a long long time since I was picked on because of this until I came out of high school. So when I was 4 months into my new relationship… lying on the bed, all of sudden from nowhere my gf grabbed my ear, pinned it back to my head and said ‘what if they glue them back like this’… I was shocked and speechless.

She has never mentioned my ears one way or another before. I should say ‘well I think in that case I would get much hotter gf’ or ‘then i would be a completely different guy’ but I rather didnt respond. I was asking myself what was the purpose of that? i mean really… WHY? I have the same ears from the first time we met unlike her ass… she mentioned my ears for couple more times after that – like calling me ‘earman’ or just grab an ear in the bed and said ‘ear’. Subtle way to tell me she doesnt fancy my ears and that I should do something about it?! Or was that just a **** test? I don’t know. I have never reacted to it but it gets on my nerves. Only one time I just said ‘whats your deal with my ears?’ she said ‘nothing’…. Right… I was born that way, and they are not growing bigger every month like her ass. There are always some things that will bother you about you OH, but why bring them up like that? Dont know what to do...

myshirt

In fact, your ears do grow bigger as you get older, and strangely, you hear less.

Look, your ears are your ears, your girlfriend has to take you as you are, or move on. Assume no kids.

bee06

Does she know you are sensitive about your ears. Could be that it means nothing when she said this and because of the bullying you are building it into this huge deal. Talk to her about it.

Ursus Horribilis

Is this the same girlfriend you posted about before?

Dial Hard

Between her comments on your ears and your opinion of her ass it sounds like you'd be better off apart, tbh.

greznik913

bee06 wrote: »

Could be that it means nothing when she said this

Why say it then? there is no logic there!

dee_mc

It sounds like you don't even like her to be honest.
Either sit her down and tell her that if she has a problem with your ears she will have to get over it, or end the relationship. Maybe don't bring your mean comments about her body into the conversation - be the bigger person.

bee06

greznik913 wrote: »

Why say it then? there is no logic there!

Maybe she was just wondering what your ears were like if they were glued back but that doesn't mean that they would be better that way, just different. Like if my husband said to me what if you didn't wear glasses. It doesn't mean it would be better just different. Of course, I wasn't there to hear her tone of voice or the look on her face when she said it.

Penny Tration

She's nasty about your appearance, you're nasty about hers.

Break up. Both of you need to grow up and stay single until you're mature enough for new relationships.

greznik913

Hey, how exactly am I nasty to her?

I have never mentioned her ass to her or anyone!

I just know i can if i want to... but never did! i know nobody is perfect, but that doesnt mean you have to mention it again and again.

Penny Tration

greznik913 wrote: »

Hey, how exactly am I nasty to her?

I have never mentioned her ass to her or anyone!

I just know i can if i want to... but never did! i know nobody is perfect, but that doesnt mean you have to mention it again and again.

Well you're repeatedly mentioning her bum online on a public forum. That's pretty nasty. I mean, she at least has the guts to say it to your face.

You both sound too childish to be together.

Lau2976

By the sounds if it she's doing it out if endearment. My bf is like a bean pole but he has the tiniest poach of fat on his stomach. I always squish it and poke it. I don't dislike it and I don't want him to change it. She probably durably realize how much your affected by it.

On the other hand, if my bf made comments about my arse online like that, or said "he knew he could" if he wanted to hurt me, I can gaurentee the only time he'd see it is when I'm leaving his life! If she means it in a nasty way, she's not for you, you making comments about her arse just makes you seem worse IMO.

greznik913

Yes, I AM WORSE then her because I mentioned her ass on public forum, where no one knows who am I, who is she or who we actually talk about. i hurt her that way much more then saying it to her face. Mind is blown. Nice try... feminism...

Penny Tration

greznik913 wrote: »

Yes, I AM WORSE then her because I mentioned her ass on public forum, where no one knows who am I, who is she or who we actually talk about. i hurt her that way much more then saying it to her face. Mind is blown. Nice try... feminism...

It's got nothing to do with feminism. She's being a cow. But so are you. And you're really showing a nasty attitude in this thread.

Seriously, the two of you need to be single until you've matured.

Lau2976

greznik913 wrote: »

Yes, I AM WORSE then her because I mentioned her ass on public forum, where no one knows who am I, who is she or who we actually talk about. i hurt her that way much more then saying it to her face. Mind is blown. Nice try... feminism...

Getting defensive because people aren't stroking your ego and telling you she's a bitch has nothing to do with feminism.

If the thought that posting something publicily instead if saying it to your face could upset someone more then your mind must get blown pretty easily.

All you can do it say it to her, leave her, or leave it. Of she didn't mean it she'll probably stop and feel bad, if she did mean to hurt you, you'll know and can decide what to do. You can leave because you think she means it ( and because if your appearent issue with her arse) or you can let it go and learn to not listen to her over your ears.

greznik913

So having a (negative) opinion on someone's appearance and not act on it (not mentioning it to other person) is nasty...OK...got it. wont respond anymore to stuff like that. its going nowhere... my mind gets blown by stupid comments like this. What would happen if everyone would speak their mind about others without any filter? Not nice right? but at least we wont be nasty that way!? Strong logic, got nothing to do with my ego.

Lau2976

greznik913 wrote: »

So having a (negative) opinion on someone's appearance and not act on it (not mentioning it to other person) is nasty...OK...got it. wont respond anymore to stuff like that. its going nowhere... my mind gets blown by stupid comments like this. What would happen if everyone would speak their mind about others without any filter? Not nice right? but at least we wont be nasty that way!? Strong logic, got nothing to do with my ego.

But you are actin on it by publicily humiliating her. Ita the exact same to you going to the pub and talking about it with mates.

greznik913

yes, its the exact same scenario... because in both cases we talk about a person we all personally know with people we both know. logic is not you strong asset is it?

If i show you right now a picture of 100 girls and told you one of them is my gf, can you point out which one am i so humiliating? NO! so just stop it.

retro:electro

greznik913 wrote: »

yes, its the exact same scenario... because in both cases we talk about a person we all personally know with people we both know. logic is not you strong asset is it?

If i show you right now a picture of 100 girls and told you one of them is my gf, can you point out which one am i so humiliating? NO! so just stop it.

It's the fact you don't even realise you're humiliating her that's worrying. Your attitude sucks. We don't need to know the girl to know what you've posted about her here is disrespectful. So, by your standards, you can call her all the names in the world and say whatever you like but it only becomes disrespecful if someone she knows hears it?

njs030

greznik913 wrote: »

yes, its the exact same scenario... because in both cases we talk about a person we all personally know with people we both know. logic is not you strong asset is it?

If i show you right now a picture of 100 girls and told you one of them is my gf, can you point out which one am i so humiliating? NO! so just stop it.

What an unbelievably rude way to talk to someone who has taken time out of their day to reply to your thread.

Op you are acting like an immature child having a tantrum because you don't like what is being said.

Yes its nasty to be bitching about your girlfriends ass on this thread, you are intentionally being negative about something that has no bearing on this issue and didn't need to be mentioned.

Talk to her and explain how you feel, but learn how to communicate and accept criticism without getting defensive.

greznik913

Double standards and feminism is strong in this thread. Im out...

Penny Tration

greznik913 wrote: »

Double standards and feminism is strong in this thread. Im out...

This has absolutely nothing to do with feminism, as I already mentioned.

For your own sake - stop throwing tantrums like a bold six year old, grow up and learn to act like an adult.

dudara

@greznik913 - your attitude to other posters has been pretty poor. Please take the time to read the forum charter before posting again.

Posters - stay on topic please

dudara

Mourinho

Oh for fcuks sake get over yourselves.

He's obviously fairly annoyed and hurt about her comments about his ears so does the same back about her arse, if he made a comment about her arse she's snipe back about the ears, it happens.

I've run into couples/friends doing this when a nerve has been struck.

This is an online forum and as long as he doesn't post details giving birth away his or her details then this disrespectful to her ****e is moot and ye know it.

OP I never saw any of your other posts. It's hard to know maybe she was teasing? Have you told her before you were bullied over it maybe she might not get it annoys you?

Ursus Horribilis

He previously posted about a girlfriend of his who was going out of her way to avoid doing the deed with him. Is it the same girlfriend? What he posted last time pointed to a relationship that was a bit messed up. I'd love to know if it's the same girlfriend.

dudara

@Mourinho - please watch your tone towards other posters. There are better ways to let posters know that you disagree with them.

dudara

greznik913

Odus fell down wrote: »

He previously posted about a girlfriend of his who was going out of her way to avoid doing the deed with him. Is it the same girlfriend? What he posted last time pointed to a relationship that was a bit messed up. I'd love to know if it's the same girlfriend.

it actually is the same one.

davmol

Some posters on boards live in this euphoric ideal world where everyoens relationship is perfect.Everyone talks and no one shows basic human emotion like anger.Everyone loves their partner and their partner is perfect.

If there is a slight dissatisfaction in a relationship we should all just up and end it and forget many years we may have invested in a relationship.

OP-I get the impression your GF IS bothered by your ears.It sounds like shes trying to drop 'friendly hints'.

WHy not have a frank discussion-ask her is she bothered as in REALLY bothered about your ears.If so,you can act and get something done,if not life goes on.IF it is a deal breaker and she cant get over your ears then you need to decide how to continue on.

IF she would like your ears pinned back then suggest she sheds some fat from her derriere in return :-)

discus

This is an online forum and as long as he doesn't post details giving birth away his or her details then this disrespectful to her ****e is moot and ye know it.

Unbelievable isn't it. OP getting slated, people defending his anonymous gf.

PinkLemonade

discus wrote: »

Unbelievable isn't it. OP getting slated, people defending his anonymous gf.

I think it's more about highlighting the hypocrisy that the OP has, it's completely unnecessary to slag her weight, it's just nasty and hints at very disfunctional relationship.

Neyite

Mod:

From this point on, can posters please stick to offering advice that is helpful to the op rather than giving out to him.

con___manx1

A good way t hide big ears is let your hair grow . say nothing about the gf ass getting bigger.

Dellnum

I actually think that your g/f is lacking sensitivity and good manners OP. I would not think twice about having big ears if I were you. There is nothing disabling about it. You can hear with your ears and that's what they are there for. Just say to your g/f "if you don't like my ears then you know what to do". If you are in love with this woman and you don't want to lose her then just tell her that you don't like her insensitive remarks and would prefer if she kept them to herself. If she continues to make them then just forget about her.

Ursus Horribilis

I agree that going on about his ears isn't very nice. But seeing as she wasn't treating him very nicely in the past (his previous boards posts) it doesn't altogether surprise me.

deex

I would honestly just recommend breaking up ASAP, from the tone of the things you say, you seem to really dislike each other? Have I got that wrong?

Like, there's no love/respect/affection coming through in how you talk about her, there doesn't seem to be any in how she talks to you. And you're communicating terribly.

Most posts on here giving out about a loved one do mention at some point "ah, but I really do love her in spite of everything..." or "he's great in every other way - caring, loving, intelligent...", but there's none of that here.

Are you even happy together?

OneOfThem

greznik913 wrote: »

it actually is the same one.

Did the previous situation resolve it's self to your satisfaction?

You posted saying that you had talked and she agreed things would change from then on. Did they?

1st relationships are very tricky things. You think you're never going to have one before it, then when you get into it, you can be very reluctant to exit it. You also have no frame of reference. So it can be absolutely horrendous and you don't really know, there's always a niggling thought of "well maybe this is just what relationships are like?". I think most of us are probably guilty of it, and look back and think "what in the name of sweet fancy Moses was I thinking dragging that out as long as I did" afterwards. But it's hard to see these kinds of things from the inside.

Going on the two of your threads... she doesn't sound like she's very nice to you, or cares all that much about your happiness. It's kind of meant to be the exact polar opposite of that.

greznik913

I see some of you can relate...

I think the main problem why some of you (mostly women) are bashing me and even telling me Im worse then my gf, because you are afraid that your bf thinks the same about your ass, but since he doesnt say it to your face because he (just like me) doesnt want to hurt my gf's feelings that way. But we are the nasty ones... as i said for the 3rd time now - double standards...

retro:electro

greznik913 wrote: »

I see some of you can relate...

I think the main problem why some of you (mostly women) are bashing me and even telling me Im worse then my gf, because you are afraid that your bf thinks the same about your ass, but since he doesnt say it to your face because he (just like me) doesnt want to hurt my gf's feelings that way. But we are the nasty ones... as i said for the 3rd time now - double standards...

Is the problem your girlfriends ass or your ears? I'm not sure

Ursus Horribilis

So did you and her resolve your previous difficulties. Is she still avoiding sex with you and keeping you way down her list of priorities?

baby and crumble

greznik913 wrote: »

I see some of you can relate...

I think the main problem why some of you (mostly women) are bashing me and even telling me Im worse then my gf, because you are afraid that your bf thinks the same about your ass, but since he doesnt say it to your face because he (just like me) doesnt want to hurt my gf's feelings that way. But we are the nasty ones... as i said for the 3rd time now - double standards...

How on earth can you be so sure the ones disagreeing with you on this are female??

Tbh op it really doesn't sound like you should be in a relationship with this woman. I even with my gf for 12 years now and I don't think I've even remotely noticed any physical changes, although I know there must have been. (21-33 is a long time!) but because I love her and fancy her like mad I don't see them. If you see them and get snippy about it even in your head then it's a bad sign tbh.

greznik913

OneOfThem wrote: »

Did the previous situation resolve it's self to your satisfaction?

You posted saying that you had talked and she agreed things would change from then on. Did they?

1st relationships are very tricky things. You think you're never going to have one before it, then when you get into it, you can be very reluctant to exit it. You also have no frame of reference. So it can be absolutely horrendous and you don't really know, there's always a niggling thought of "well maybe this is just what relationships are like?". I think most of us are probably guilty of it, and look back and think "what in the name of sweet fancy Moses was I thinking dragging that out as long as I did" afterwards. But it's hard to see these kinds of things from the inside.

Going on the two of your threads... she doesn't sound like she's very nice to you, or cares all that much about your happiness. It's kind of meant to be the exact polar opposite of that.

great post, tnx

TimeToShine

The problem here is that many posters think everyone is in their 30s and in a nice, stable relationship headed for marriage and judge all problems accordingly.

The OP is probably 19 and this is nothing serious, the only useful advice given is a) Do NOT tell her that her arse is getting too big AND b) maybe tell her that she's annoying you talking about your ears.

Pinning your ears back should be out of the question, it's who you are and anyone who doesn't like that isn't worth your time.

Ursus Horribilis

He's not 19 and neither is she. They're 26 http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057423133/1

Neyite

Mod:

All right, we are done here. OP, we don't allow gender bashing of either gender here, nor generalisations of an entire gender either.

Either way, the solution to your issue is simple - both of you should work on communication, and treating each other with respect, or call it a day.

I'm closing this thread.