Falling short on minimum guest numbers

Prunty

We're three weeks out from our wedding today and due to a series of unfortunate occurences we're looking at final number of around 180 having said 200 (200 minimum in the contract).

Have a feeling they'll demand we pay for 200 and I'm wondering whether anyone has any advice having gone through similar. Can we ask for additional evening food? A few free drinks?

Will be pretty annoyed to just hand over an extra grand for what equates to nothing received given the venue are making such money off the day anyway.

delahuntv

Contact them immediately - otherwise they will have the food and the staff for 200 guests and would be right to charge you.

They can't tell staff or suppliers on the day that they / stock are not needed.


Also, go lower than you think will turn up. Tell them 160 - always easier to add extra than take away.

Prunty

We informed them we'd have 170 a couple of days ago and they have replied by saying 200 is the minimum so as far as notifying them goes we did it as early as possible. I still think they'll push for the 200 because its in the contract so I'm working off that assumption and trying to way up our options given the situation.

I'm sure others have been in a similar situation and might be able to offer some guidance.

amdublin

They are going to lose out by people you said would be there not buying drink...

machiavellianme

They are lucky to have you and your guests there at all. 170 to 180 is a decent number and not that far south of 200. Hold firm for as long as you can, it's your money, but you'll probably end up having to pay the extra seeing as you have a contract. You could mention that you'll be telling family / friends who were thinking of hosting their weddings at the same venue about going elsewhere, see if that affects their position?

Prunty

They are going to lose out by people you said would be there not buying drink...

True but the hotel is entirely booked out, we've paid for a lot of add ons already and we're staying on a further night - by doing so we're keeping the hotel open when it would ordinarily be closed.

If they choose to charge us an extra grand I would like to see that that becomes something tangible and not just 20 hypothetical dinners.

I appreciate the response but advice would be ideal.

Lenny

You could always ask for something like extra wine etc, if they're going to charge you for the extra people that aren't going to be there..

fits

These minimum numbers things are crazy, arent they? It going out of fashion to have such big weddings surely.

delahuntv

If its a hotel that would normally be closed at this time of year, then i can see why they stipulate a minimum.

Its not the big money spinner people tend to think - especially if everything is opened just for the one event and staff booked in advance.

Going the threatening route as becomes the normal suggestion of some people will just ruin your day as you'll end with negative feeling of the venue.

Maybe see if mother of bride or mother of groom have friends they'd like to invite - saves anyone extra you invite thinking they are afterthoughts

Prunty

delahuntv wrote: »

If its a hotel that would normally be closed at this time of year, then i can see why they stipulate a minimum.

Its not the big money spinner people tend to think - especially if everything is opened just for the one event and staff booked in advance.

Going the threatening route as becomes the normal suggestion of some people will just ruin your day as you'll end with negative feeling of the venue.

Maybe see if mother of bride or mother of groom have friends they'd like to invite - saves anyone extra you invite thinking they are afterthoughts

It's only the second night that they are opening specifically for us, not the first. I dont want to make any threats, would prefer a compromise that doesn't leave either party sore about it. Good idea about the additional invites being given out to people removed from our circles.

pooch90

I would highly doubt they would throw in anything extra for free as they have you caught with the contract. Would definitely look at inviting extra family friends etc instead.

lazygal

Is there anyone who you'd asked to the evening part that you could ask to the whole thing? I regret asking some people to the evening only, in hindsight they should have been included for the main day as well.

Faith

We had that exact problem, but with smaller numbers and in high season. Firstly, it's really disappointing, isn't it? Getting those declines was the most stressful part of wedding planning for me, especially the week running up to the wedding (seemed to be a lot of illness that week!).

Our contract initially said we'd have to pay a surcharge of €2000 but the coordinator told us we could just pay for the minimum numbers, which was an extra €1000. It was cheaper to just pay the minimum numbers for us.

We didn't negotiate, as I felt the hotel had already been fair by letting us pretend we had the minimum numbers. My mum was insisting on negotiating, so maybe you could try. They might be generous and include something small, but I doubt it. Why would they, tbh? You can't go anywhere else at this stage so they have nothing to gain from throwing anything in. I also felt negotiating wasn't worth the stress, but if you're better with that kind of thing, then you have nothing to lose by asking!

The main worry for us was that the lower number would be obvious on the day, and that the room would feel empty. That wasn't the case at all though. The staff were brilliant and arranged the tables perfectly. I still didn't get a chance to talk to everyone so it would have been ridiculous if our full number had arrived!

Also, we offered our photographers and videographers the wedding meal, rather than paying for food for them in the bar. They were delighted but they still ate in a separate room. It was all sorted out with the hotel in advance, and it meant that at least a few extra people got to enjoy the meal.

Finally, we also scraped the barrel a bit in terms of invites. I suppose you could call them second-wave. Yes, it's a touchy subject, but if there's people you've left off the guest list, you could consider inviting them now. Just be extremely tactful about it!

rainbowtrout

If you are going to have to pay for it would it be easier to invite a few extra cousins, where you already have one cousin going to represent the family, tell them the rest can come? Maybe some friends or families children/teenagers if you don't mind children being at your wedding?

Tarzana2

machiavellianme wrote: »

You could mention that you'll be telling family / friends who were thinking of hosting their weddings at the same venue about going elsewhere, see if that affects their position?

Don't do this, OP. :eek:

I guess it's always a gamble, as you never know how many declines you'll get. It's in the contract so you'll have to pay. But there's absolutely no harm in asking if there's anything else they will throw in, seeing as they will be spending less on food and other things with the lower numbers.

Arbiter of Good Taste

OP you signed a contract agreeing to a minimum number, so you really don't have a leg to stand on, and the hotel is perfectly within their rights to charge. At the end of the day, unless your wedding is on a Monday in the back end of nowhere, the venue could probably have been booked 10 times over.

As a matter of interest, how many people did you invite to expect 200? We had approx a 20% decline rate for our wedding and just about made the minimum.

zoobizoo

Depends on what the issue is for them. Are they really worried that the 20 people going won;t be buying booze - or do they just see it as easy money?

If they are charging you for 200 meals but they are only serving 170/180 then they are saving.

Could they put the extra cash (that they would save) into an extra course (sorbet), choice of desserts.

Milly33

I would go with something like what Faith has mentioned.. It looks like well they are either going to come to a deal with you or not. Ye signed the contract for 200 so really it would be them being nice to ye, to let ye go with 180... If they don't budge then like faith mentioned offer the photographer or band food, or if there are any babysitters.. jes even go out and ask people do they want food tis the only way it will get used if you have paid for it

delthedriver

Invite some Boardsies to make up the numbers ?????

Milly33

haha great idea, I have been finding getting over the wedding very boring

beertons

If the contract says 200, then that's what you've to pay for. No point in trying to find wiggle room when you put your name to the agreement.

zoobizoo

Ask if they will be platong up for the 20 people who aren't there and setting up the tables accordingly and see how that strikes them.

okidoki987

Invite some Boardsies to make up the numbers ?????

I was just going to post the same thing!

And what have you all got in common........BOARDS , I'm sure the mother in law would have a great laugh.
As said before, you should try to ask people to make up the numbers as you will be paying for the grub anyway.
Not sure how you will go about asking people at this late stage though.

delthedriver

okidoki987 wrote: »

I was just going to post the same thing!

And what have you all got in common........BOARDS , I'm sure the mother in law would have a great laugh.
As said before, you should try to ask people to make up the numbers as you will be paying for the grub anyway.
Not sure how you will go about asking people at this late stage though.

A quick PM to Ops favourite Boardsies !!!!!

stargazer 68

delthedriver wrote: »

A quick PM to Ops favourite Boardsies !!!!!

Frantically checks inbox

Sofiztikated

zoobizoo wrote: »

Ask if they will be platong up for the 20 people who aren't there and setting up the tables accordingly and see how that strikes them.

What?

What you are saying will make the venue set for 200 people, and end up with 20 or 30 empty seats, or 2 or 3 empty tables. That's just poor form for the B&G, as 17 or 18 full tables fills a room better than 20/21 with some almost empty tables.

OP, you've informed them that you will be below minimum contracted numbers, they've said you'll pay for minimum contracted numbers. All you can really do is ask if they can do a little something, maybe on drink of choice or that.

buttercups88

Ask the hotel to plate up the food and contact meals on wheels.or a homeless shelter and see if they would be interested in collecting them so at least the food your paying for goes to good use

amdublin

beertons wrote: »

If the contract says 200, then that's what you've to pay for. No point in trying to find wiggle room when you put your name to the agreement.

While this is true I don't see any harm in asking the hotel is there anything they can do.

Gatica

I think it's always a good idea to ask, since if you don't ask, you don't get... but I really don't get people who think they're doing the hotel a favour by having their wedding there, and start from that viewpoint when trying to wriggle out of a contract they negotiated and signed.

Any popular venue that stipulates minimum numbers, does so because they know they can get them. If one small wedding goes ahead instead of a big one, then they lose out. It's not uncommon to have minimum numbers for nice venues. We also had minimum numbers, which we didn't meet. They had a higher pp price on numbers below our minimum, I calculated the difference in paying the cheaper price on full numbers and the higher price on actual numbers and picked the cheapest option.

If you pull the plug on your wedding with them, they'll be entitled to keep the deposit, and if they are able to stipulate such large minimum numbers, chances are it's a popular enough venue and date that they'd be able to rebook it easy enough. The only one losing out would be the OP. So talk to your coordinator in a friendly manner, maybe they can do something a little extra for you, so you don't have to think of a way to use up meals. There's probably only so much dinner your guests can have on the night... good luck!

1hnr79jr65

you could invite some extra work colleagues, maybe some folks from charity group you support or some such and let them know there is no expectation of wedding gift

bucketybuck

rainbowtrout wrote: »

If you are going to have to pay for it would it be easier to invite a few extra cousins, where you already have one cousin going to represent the family, tell them the rest can come? Maybe some friends or families children/teenagers if you don't mind children being at your wedding?

lazygal wrote: »

Is there anyone who you'd asked to the evening part that you could ask to the whole thing? I regret asking some people to the evening only, in hindsight they should have been included for the main day as well.

That would be a nice invite to get, knowing you really are just there to make up the numbers.

Milly33

I hate when people say this.. It is only petty people and people who think to highly of themselves who would get annoyed at this, most people would think differently.

Prunty

Thanks for all the advice folks, without much haggling or negotiating at all we seem to have come to an amicable agreement. We made allowances and compromises for mistakes the venue made in the initial contract - we could have been sticklers and saved some money but we met them halfway so that possibly influenced their final decision.

We're going to end up paying for 190 - we have about 177 adults attending and 7 kids. We've to iron out the finer points of where the money for those extra meals will go but the hotel seem happy to not charge for the kids, we'll feed the photographer and bands, we'll save the additional wine for the meal the following day and we're going to ask for some extra canapes.

A few thoughts on peoples suggestions. I would be very much against the idea of just shutting up and paying the minimum even if its stipulated in the contract. Although I wouldn't like to make any threats, the wedding industry is very much one based on positive experiences and venues rely on word of mouth and good reviews. They have profit margins I'm sure but they also realise its an emotional day and expensive endeavour so managers will be clever in deciding when to put the foot down. Also as said by someone, if you don't ask you won't get.

Both myself and my mrs-to-be were against the idea of inviting a second wave of guests, I'm sure you could argue the merits of it but some people will definitely take offence so we felt best not to go there.

Oh and I was just drafting the pms for the 10 person boards table when I heard back from the hotel, sorry lads.

1hnr79jr65

sounds like u got a decent comprimise

TimeToShine

I would like to formally reserve my place at the boardsie table if it goes ahead!

Tarzana2

Milly33 wrote: »

I hate when people say this.. It is only petty people and people who think to highly of themselves who would get annoyed at this, most people would think differently.

Guess I'm petty and/or think highly of myself, so! I wouldn't ever accept a second wave invite. Think you're wrong, I reckon a lot of people wouldn't be too impressed to be a second wave invitee.

I'm guessing you sent out a second wave of invites? If you did, fair enough, but don't malign people who would not be impressed to receive one, they are perfectly entitled to feel unimpressed and it says nothing of their character as you have lazily asserted in your post.

delthedriver

Have a wonderful day & fabulous time together.😊😊

Gatica

Prunty wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice folks, without much haggling or negotiating at all we seem to have come to an amicable agreement. We made allowances and compromises for mistakes the venue made in the initial contract - we could have been sticklers and saved some money but we met them halfway so that possibly influenced their final decision.

We're going to end up paying for 190 - we have about 177 adults attending and 7 kids. We've to iron out the finer points of where the money for those extra meals will go but the hotel seem happy to not charge for the kids, we'll feed the photographer and bands, we'll save the additional wine for the meal the following day and we're going to ask for some extra canapes.

A few thoughts on peoples suggestions. I would be very much against the idea of just shutting up and paying the minimum even if its stipulated in the contract. Although I wouldn't like to make any threats, the wedding industry is very much one based on positive experiences and venues rely on word of mouth and good reviews. They have profit margins I'm sure but they also realise its an emotional day and expensive endeavour so managers will be clever in deciding when to put the foot down. Also as said by someone, if you don't ask you won't get.

Both myself and my mrs-to-be were against the idea of inviting a second wave of guests, I'm sure you could argue the merits of it but some people will definitely take offence so we felt best not to go there.

Oh and I was just drafting the pms for the 10 person boards table when I heard back from the hotel, sorry lads.

Great outcome, really relieved for you. It's great that they were able to accommodate you somewhat, and fair play to you for having been good customers to them before - looks like it also paid off.. (and good thinking on saving of the wine)
hope you've a fantastic day!

Jen44

we fell short by a few on ours and they didnt charge

noway12345

Why go through all this hassle? So expensive and a lot of disappointment and difficulties.