Maintenance......Again

racso1975 · 06-10-2015 10:22am #1

Just a couple of quick questions. Separating from the wife or ex wife she currently earns about 20k more then me. While she is doing figures etc there have been a couple of things dropped into conversation such as the cost of her getting hair done and her clothes etc

my understanding is that it is to cover just cost associated with the children and not her. In relation to the children they will defo be every second weekend iniatially building to one night a week. While i would ideally like 2 nights one week and 3 the next with every 2nd weekend I am not sure if this is good for children or if I would actually get this.

In relation to maintenance do my costs get taken into consideration....such as rent, car costs when i have the lads, associated costs of renting etc??

SVI40 · 06-10-2015 2:37pm

From my own experience everything, both incoming and outgoing get taken into account. When I did my affidavit of means, it went down to the minutest detail, hair cuts, newspapers, everything was included.

desbrook · 06-10-2015 6:10pm

Where are you living OP ?

racso1975 · 06-10-2015 10:30pm

Carlow des

levi12 · 06-10-2015 10:41pm

Everything is taken into account.
Health insurance
Life policy
Iiterally anything u spend money on...very literally.

desbrook · 07-10-2015 8:26pm

racso1975 wrote: »

Carlow des

Sorry I meant with parents or in an apartment etc ? Are you renting / paying a mortgage ?

racso1975 · 08-10-2015 9:20am

I will be moving out and renting she'll be staying in the family home which has a mortgage on it

desbrook · 08-10-2015 3:31pm

racso1975 wrote: »

I will be moving out and renting she'll be staying in the family home which has a mortgage on it

Move out now. Make sure there's adequate room for the kids. Technically boys and girls should have separate bedrooms if that's an issue. You need to have all this in your statement of means.

ibebanging · 08-10-2015 3:43pm

Prepare to be screwed, the court really only cares about the kids welfare and your outgoings will be taken into account but has very little bearing on the outcome !

Neon_Lights · 08-10-2015 3:47pm

Just a question though, if she earns 20k more than you, why should you be paying maintenance to get her hair done?

ibebanging · 08-10-2015 3:49pm

The kids will be with her most of the time and she can document almost all of her expenses on her affidavit.

racso1975 · 08-10-2015 3:56pm

ibebanging wrote: »

The kids will be with her most of the time and she can document almost all of her expenses on her affidavit.

Just on this matter. This is not what I want obviously want joint and equal custody but dont want that happening as and from next week as it would really upset them I think to just start yanking there life's around. So will be working towards this but as I do surely the maintenance cost decrease?

Anyhow was handed a thing last night showing a shortfall of 300 odd per week!!!! Wtf like that would be over half my pay!!!

ibebanging · 08-10-2015 4:25pm

racso1975 wrote: »

Just on this matter. This is not what I want obviously want joint and equal custody but dont want that happening as and from next week as it would really upset them I think to just start yanking there life's around. So will be working towards this but as I do surely the maintenance cost decrease?

Anyhow was handed a thing last night showing a shortfall of 300 odd per week!!!! Wtf like that would be over half my pay!!!

My experience was the same. Joint custody etc
But was screwed fianiancially !
I'm sure every case is different!

desbrook · 08-10-2015 9:18pm

If you pay a lot and then after a few months can't you have a problem. Even though she may summons you - you are seeking the "variation" and therefore the burden of proof is on you to justify your outgoings.
Document your outgoings - reasonable ones. Give her what's left . If she doesn't approve SHE will be seeking the variation not you. She will have to justify HER outgoings.

Sala · 10-10-2015 6:12pm

Just because there's a shortfall doesn't mean you have to pay that shortfall. Your maintenance will be based on the kids needs and your own capacity to pay. If she genuinely runs at a shortfall after she will have to cut down- when a couple separates there's always a drop in their standard of living as there are now two households to run

racso1975 · 13-10-2015 6:17pm

Thank you Sala that is my common sense approach. That standard of living drops

desbrook · 13-10-2015 6:22pm

Sala wrote: »

Just because there's a shortfall doesn't mean you have to pay that shortfall. Your maintenance will be based on the kids needs and your own capacity to pay. If she genuinely runs at a shortfall after she will have to cut down- when a couple separates there's always a drop in their standard of living as there are now two households to run

In court one side seeks a variation - that side has the burden of proof. Not solely of course but the emphasis is strongly on them to justify the variation particulary where the maintainance is longstanding, court ordered or agreed by Separation Agreement. It is not an investigatory system to see what's fair.

racso1975 · 15-10-2015 7:59pm

desbrook wrote: »

In court one side seeks a variation - that side has the burden of proof. Not solely of course but the emphasis is strongly on them to justify the variation particulary where the maintainance is longstanding, court ordered or agreed by Separation Agreement. It is not an investigatory system to see what's fair.

Just to clarify des we are not in the court system yet and hopefully wont be. Trying to sort this ourselves. But my prob is trying to show the point made above in the sense that the current lifestyle is expected to be maintained with the likes of holidays, socialing being very high. No problem covering the costs of children but not the her associated cost of living that is equal to mine. As is my rent is more then the mortgage payment.

Ken. · 15-10-2015 8:15pm

racso1975 wrote: »

Just to clarify des we are not in the court system yet and hopefully wont be. Trying to sort this ourselves. But my prob is trying to show the point made above in the sense that the current lifestyle is expected to be maintained with the likes of holidays, socialing being very high. No problem covering the costs of children but not the her associated cost of living that is equal to mine. As is my rent is more then the mortgage payment.

Is their any chance of ye getting into mediation with a neutral 3rd party. The mediator would be able to tell you what you can and can't do/claim for. If nothing else it would soften the blow when it came to court.

If mediation between ye is a no go then a visit to a solicitor by yourself would be a good move.

desbrook · 15-10-2015 9:51pm

racso1975 wrote: »

Just to clarify des we are not in the court system yet and hopefully wont be. Trying to sort this ourselves. But my prob is trying to show the point made above in the sense that the current lifestyle is expected to be maintained with the likes of holidays, socialing being very high. No problem covering the costs of children but not the her associated cost of living that is equal to mine. As is my rent is more then the mortgage payment.

Don't hassle yourself. Pay what you can as I stated above. Document your spending honestly and pay the maintenance promptly and clearly. If she wants to summons grand because she will have to prove. Mediation is a headwreck frankly when it comes to money. Don't be afraid of court.

Maintenance......Again

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