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Life not working out

  • 05-10-2015 7:32pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    life hasn't worked out

    Hi all. I've found myself in a bit of a depressing situation right now. Following a split with my ex partner about 6 months ago, I moved home to save some money to get a mortgage. I needed 6 months evidence of saving. So today I was told I can't get one as I have an old debt I never paid before I moved abroad, and it shows up on my credit rating. I can pay it this week, it's only 400 euro, I had paid the rest of the 5000 I owed before I left and I think I only owed 100 or so but interest drove it up to 400. I think I just forgot about it, or didn't think it would matter as it was so small compared to the original sum.

    Anyway so the bank rejected my mortgage application and I called a few more today and basically you haven't a chance of getting one with anything on your credit rating. So that wont be gone for 5 years. I'll be over 40 then!

    The idea of sharing now is just really not what I want to be doing, at the same time I'm living at home now and just feel pathetic. I can't have friends over really or bring a woman back if I'm living at home. It just seems like I'm back at square one, except a lot older than I should be.

    I've looked up some rentals and the prices are extortionate in Dublin now. I am on the verge of a panic attack today because I feel totally stuck and hopeless.

    On top of that I'm single and thought I'd have kids by now and I don't have much of a social life anymore as all my friends are settled. I've tried internet dating and gone on probably about 6 dates in the last few months and was seeing one for a while, but I find the whole thing a bit soul destroying. Many times I've been talking to women that I found quite attractive online only for them to disappear after we've agreed to meet up sometime. Seems to happen a lot. I'm not sure I have the nerve for it right now.

    I guess I just can't see a way out of this right now and I'm feeling very down all day and I can't see much light at the end of the tunnel

    Has anyone been where I am now and can anyone offer advice? Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Wesser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭Wesser


    Hi there. Sorry to hear your story. Something I found usefull when things are overwhelming is mindfulness practice as it brings you back to the now and not some time in the future or in someone else's life. All you can do is get involved in local groups eg sports / hobbies etc and keep being friendly to everyone you meet and keep dating and eventually you will meet someone nice or if not you will gain friends and fun. It's the moment that we are in that is the most powerful of all. you never know who you might meet!

    Best of luck you!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Did you try going to a mortgage broker instead of a bank as they would be dealing with a few different financial institutions & they might be able to think of some way around your credit history?

    If you definitely can't get a mortgage, please do try to move out of your parents home as that will be soul destroying for you in the long term, even if you have to share for a while. Maybe an apartment share with one other person rather than a house share set up would suit you?


  • #4
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    The banks can be an unmerciful bunch of gangsters, so I'd agree with the above advice of trying a broker. I know a man who has an irregular income, from a profession not recognised by banks, and he got a mortgage through a broker.

    Just because you're having hiccups in doing what you want, doesn't mean life isn't working out. There'll always be something. Don't stress yourself or allow yourself to be unduly worried about the inevitable; especially if it's something about banks acting like assholes - it's their nature.


  • #5
    stickybookmark
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,186 ✭✭✭stickybookmark


    Probably a bit late for this but you know you can order a copy of your credit rating here:
    http://www.icb.ie/credit_rating.php

    I think to get this reference taken off the Original lender has to agree to remove it from the ICB rating list. I suggest you lobby the bank manager of the local branch where you took the loan out in the first place, and see if they will agree to remove this considering you have paid the outstanding debt and it was a very small amount in the first place.
    Ring the branch and request a meeting with the bank manager and plead your case.
    Also ask for advice on Askaboutmoney.ie


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