Maintenance

LegacyUser

My child's father is not paying maintenance. we've been to court twice about it. he is illegal and therefore says he can't get a job but he turns up for access in new clothes, new runners, he had a new iPhone last week. It's pointless going to court because he will just tell the judge he's unemployed. Should I just let it go? We can survive without it, is just fact he expects me to abide by the court order (which I do) but he doesn't seem bothered by fact he's in breech of the order himself.

I don't know if this belongs here but I wantedto go anonymous.

Taltos

Mod note
OP I've approved your post but please be aware we can't give you legal advice on this forum.

silverbolt

if he illegal then how did that not come up when he went to court?

If he' illegal then he cant claim any kind of benefit so how do you expect him to pay for the child?

LegacyUser

silverbolt wrote: »

if he illegal then how did that not come up when he went to court?

If he' illegal then he cant claim any kind of benefit so how do you expect him to pay for the child?

She can expect him to pay when he supposedly turns up in new clothes and has the money to buy a new phone.

Riskymove

silverbolt wrote: »

If he' illegal then he cant claim any kind of benefit so how do you expect him to pay for the child?

She is suggesting that he does actually have a job, just not declared or official as he has new clothes, phone etc.

However, he is declaring to be unemployed and unable to pay any maintenance when in court

frostyjacks

Can you not threaten to have him deported?

Knine

Is he in breech of a court order? If he is then apply to court for breech of maintenance.

zeffabelli

I'm going to tell you what my father if he were alive would have said to me if he heard all the complaining I did about my baby daddy.

"YOU picked him!"

He's an illegal immigrant. He has no money. You are powerless outside if deportation. And as the mother, you don't want to face your adult child if you do that.

Afraid it's checkmate.

Xterminator

yep legally you seem snookered.

however you might consider another approach. if you can contact his family eg mother father, siblings etc you could appeal to them for help. explain he has money for new trainers while his child goes hungry and he has money for an iphone when the child needs clothes.

do you have their phine no's or facebook details?

this wont make you popular with your partner but may work, if you can contact his family, and if they are decent people who are shocked with his behaviour. Appeal to their better natures, and remind them its their grandchiled, niece nephew etc. A little shame goes a long way.

Chemical Byrne

I'm going to tell you what my father if he were alive would have said to me if he heard all the complaining I did about my baby daddy.

"YOU picked him!"

So true.

I'm not directing this at the OP but it does grind my gears no end when people decide or are foolish/careless enough to have a child with a no-good people with no ambition or motivation and then be all surprised and angry afterwards when the inevitably flake out on their responsibilities.

Neyite

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

So true.

I'm not directing this at the OP but it does grind my gears no end when people decide or are foolish/careless enough to have a child with a no-good people with no ambition or motivation and then be all surprised and angry afterwards when the inevitably flake out on their responsibilities.

Mod:

That is NOT advice. That's a rant and belongs on another forum. This is an advice forum where we try to find ways to help an OP. If you cant do that and are only capable of saying nasty things about her situation then your post is not welcome here.

arayess

silverbolt wrote: »

if he illegal then how did that not come up when he went to court?

If he' illegal then he cant claim any kind of benefit so how do you expect him to pay for the child?

that'#s not for you or the OP to decide it's for the judge.

OP , I'm at a loss how this didn't come up in court and with said court order etc...are you not entitled to a social welfare golden ticket (i mean that in the best possible way, no dig implied)

Did you not inform your solicitor of his status? Or the judge not ask if he was working and his status came up?
I've been in and out of family court for over a decade and those judge's love to know the ins and out of your life

silverbolt

Chemical Byrne wrote: »

So true.

I'm not directing this at the OP but it does grind my gears no end when people decide or are foolish/careless enough to have a child with a no-good people with no ambition or motivation and then be all surprised and angry afterwards when the inevitably flake out on their responsibilities.

Yep. My ex has three children from two different long term relationship fathers. She's now a single mom and blames them for pretty much everything.

OP i think the appealing to the family idea is the best one. Thinking on it I dont think you cant get him deported as he has a child that is an irish citizen

homerjay2005

silverbolt wrote: »

if he illegal then how did that not come up when he went to court?

If he' illegal then he cant claim any kind of benefit so how do you expect him to pay for the child?

i have a friend in the exact same suituation and unfortunately the court and justice system dont care - every judge just ignores the problem and focuses on the child (who is being used as the means to become legal) and the justice department just dont want to touch the cases due to the complete mess they turn into.

and while he doesnt officially have a job, i think we both know that not everybody working in this country is going through "the books".

OP, you can forget about deportation unless he commits a serious crime, my friend was told recently (by a senior member of the DOI) that if she wanted him deported, it would cost €120k and the state just doesnt bother.

frostyjacks

Is his name on the birth cert? The guy knew what he was doing by the sounds of things.

homerjay2005

I know I know wrote: »

My child's father is not paying maintenance. we've been to court twice about it. he is illegal and therefore says he can't get a job but he turns up for access in new clothes, new runners, he had a new iPhone last week. It's pointless going to court because he will just tell the judge he's unemployed. Should I just let it go? We can survive without it, is just fact he expects me to abide by the court order (which I do) but he doesn't seem bothered by fact he's in breech of the order himself.

I don't know if this belongs here but I wantedto go anonymous.

how old is the child and how long have you known him?

theres an EU law that allows residency in Ireland if there is a "family" arrangement for 3 years, be careful that this is not what he is after. id be pretty sure theres an open application for residencey now, based on the child and his relationship with you.

you should set up a meeting with the DOI and let them know that he is not paying and you believe he is only using the child for a green card - it could help in getting acquaintance as they wont look lightly on the application if he is not contributing anything to the child.

you need to find him working also, not saying you should stalk him but if you had a friend willing to help you out and keep an eye on it, it could help alot.

LegacyUser

Hi thanks for the replies. What's the doi and how can I make an appointment? My child is 2 and I've known him about 3 years..

We've been to court twice, he never actually said the word "illegal " in there but he said he was waiting on his visa to get a job.. The judge didn't say much about it.. That was last year.. My solicitor knows too.. But there's not much that can be done..

I don't necessarily want to go back to court because it's stressful and I know the outcome will be the same in that he'll lie his way through it and then continue to not pay.. It just annoys me that he constantly says he wants to provide for our child, and doesn't, but is turning up in new clothes a lot n just bought a new phone..