Actual harrassment or just creepiness?

liselle81

I'm a member of a popular dating site, and over the past few months there's this dude who's been persistently messaging me. He started out friendly enough but when I didn't respond straightaway he started getting whiny, then demanding, then downright creepy. Like casually dropping mention into the middle of a message of something he read on my Twitter account, which is not linked to on my profile. OK, I know it's doable for anyone with a bit of Internet knowledge to do some googling and find that sort of stuff out, but it's still pretty disturbing. Until today I hadn't heard from him in a while so I thought he had decided to respect my request to leave me the hell alone, when I get another message (16000 words long!), which - in between accusations of ageism(did I mention he's twenty years my senior?)and reasons why I should give him a chance - makes mention of a specific event I will be attending in a few weeks time. Phrased sort of like "Oh don't worry I won't turn up there I'm not a psycho stalker hahaha!" kind of way but I'm not really inclined to take his word for it.
I know that the law is taking its sweet time catching up with new technology, but is there any provision in harrassment law for me to do anything about this?

Skykes

You could just block / unmatch him.

You could also do your own research into him, find out who he is, where he works etc. Then threaten to post printouts of all the stuff he sent you to his family/coworkers.

unattendedbag

When considering harassment as a criminal offence, the DPP and gardai take into account what reasonable steps the victim has taken to thwart the unwanted attention. So is there a block button on this website? It's easy to block people from Facebook & Twitter so that is the obvious first stop. If however he keeps find long ways to contact you and you have made it clear that the attention is unwanted then consideration can be given to a criminal investigation.

Skykes

I can tell you first hand that the Gardai won't do anything unless you have taken steps to block /remove this person.

You should also keep a record /backup of what he has said, just some quick screen captures of the some of the messages. That way if, god forbid, he keeps at you, or leaves you alone for a while and pops up in your life again somewhere down the pipe line. - You have concrete proof that he is a weirdo.

Personally, I like my original idea of ruining his life via printouts of weird cr@p he has said to you.

Meauldsegosha

Report him to the site admins and then block him. I did this when I was getting hassle from a guy on a dating site, never heard from after that.

Pat Mustard

liselle81 wrote: »

I'm a member of a popular dating site, and over the past few months there's this dude who's been persistently messaging me. He started out friendly enough but when I didn't respond straightaway he started getting whiny, then demanding, then downright creepy. Like casually dropping mention into the middle of a message of something he read on my Twitter account, which is not linked to on my profile. OK, I know it's doable for anyone with a bit of Internet knowledge to do some googling and find that sort of stuff out, but it's still pretty disturbing. Until today I hadn't heard from him in a while so I thought he had decided to respect my request to leave me the hell alone, when I get another message (16000 words long!), which - in between accusations of ageism(did I mention he's twenty years my senior?)and reasons why I should give him a chance - makes mention of a specific event I will be attending in a few weeks time. Phrased sort of like "Oh don't worry I won't turn up there I'm not a psycho stalker hahaha!" kind of way but I'm not really inclined to take his word for it.
I know that the law is taking its sweet time catching up with new technology, but is there any provision in harrassment law for me to do anything about this?

Have you asked him to stop contacting you?

Peregrinus

Pat Mustard wrote: »

Have you asked him to stop contacting you?

Covered in the OP, which you quoted:

liselle81 wrote: »

. . . Until today I hadn't heard from him in a while so I thought he had decided to respect my request to leave me the hell alone . . .

Pat Mustard

My mistake.

nuac

1. Block him off, or put on ignore or whatever other way you can

2. Report to the system administrator/site owner

3. If he gets thru again, report to Gardaí

Sadly there are some weird people about. The 'net gives them a platform.

Take no chances

Many years ago one of my children got a very lewd message from somebody in the states.

I uploaded Bunreacht na h-Éireann ( in Irish ) less the headings, and sent it to him.

I claimed that this was the ultimate Irish curse which I had now put on him.

Never heard from him again.

Miaireland

Block him.
Report him to the site.
Print out everything.
Set your twitter account/facebook/social media to private.
Change your profile pictures twitter etc.
Make sure that you are not on your own at that event or else skip it.

If he contacts you again report to the Gardai.