Christening..?

Johnnyhpipe

Hi, neither myself nor my fiancee are religious and don't go to mass. However we're hoping to have put little fella (3 months) christened more out of tradition than anything else and to help get into schools if necessary etc. Some might call me a hypocrite - but there ya go! Anyway, how do I go about arranging a christening with a priest? Do I need to make my face known at mass beforehand??!

Thanks - sorry I'm just totally clueless here!

pwurple

Congratulations on your new baby!

To answer your question, you just have a chat with the priest about it. After mass they usually are around, or drop into the parish office.

Some of the big churches put the info on their weekly newsletter, maybe pick one of those up from the church door and have a read.

The priest will tell you what you need to bring along, it's usually a baptism candle, a white shawl or garment to put over the baby during the ceremony... And godparents.

John Mason

You will probably need to do some sort of preparation class and be seen to attend the services for a couple of month previous. but first talk to the priest.

It will depend on how fed up he is of this kind of thing

cbyrd

Call your parochial house, the housekeeper will give you the details of when the registration night is, they call it a baptismal course, you get a form to fill on the night and you get details of what to bring on the day.
I've done 4... Struggling to find the interest to do the fifth.. I could give the course at this stage... 

Google baptisms for your parish, should find the information there too.

dori_dormer

Johnnyhpipe wrote: »

Hi, neither myself nor my fiancee are religious and don't go to mass. However we're hoping to have put little fella (3 months) christened more out of tradition than anything else and to help get into schools if necessary etc. Some might call me a hypocrite - but there ya go! Anyway, how do I go about arranging a christening with a priest? Do I need to make my face known at mass beforehand??!

Thanks - sorry I'm just totally clueless here!

Just in case it might change your mind if you hadn't thought or heard about other options ( but likely not lol!) lots of people have welcoming ceremonies in their homes or hotel/pub event rooms, and have someone say nice things about the child and assign people to look out for the child. We ourselves just had a party!

Also there is a movement happening at the moment to remove the Catholic bias on entry to primary schools. It's doing pretty well!

Enjoy the christening! My sister had to go to mass every week for a month before the event and swear she lived with my mum, in the hope to get her son into my mums local primary. Lovely day though!

Sligo1

Jeez people seem to be jumping through hoops here to get their kids christened!? My son was christened 2 years ago and my daughter christened 1 year ago. Both times I just rang the parish priest who arranged a date that suited. Met up with him for about 15 minutes in his house a couple days before the ceremony. Them turned up to the ceremony with the godparents etc. he did tell me they are introducing an information evening which may become mandatory but one year ago it wasn't so we didn't go. Very easy and straight forward altogether. Our parish priest is a Monsignor aswell as wouldn't be the easy going type. But he made this very straight forward for us. And we don't go to mass! Perhaps it depends which priest you get....

Ms2011

Sligo1 wrote: »

Jeez people seem to be jumping through hoops here to get their kids christened!? My son was christened 2 years ago and my daughter christened 1 year ago. Both times I just rang the parish priest who arranged a date that suited. Met up with him for about 15 minutes in his house a couple days before the ceremony. Them turned up to the ceremony with the godparents etc. he did tell me they are introducing an information evening which may become mandatory but one year ago it wasn't so we didn't go. Very easy and straight forward altogether. Our parish priest is a Monsignor aswell as wouldn't be the easy going type. But he made this very straight forward for us. And we don't go to mass! Perhaps it depends which priest you get....

We were the same pretty much.

Ashbx

I wouldn't quite say people are jumping through hoops! If you want your child christened in a church you should pay a bit of respect and at least attend a couple of masses before expecting the priest to christen your baby.

I was recently a godparent at my nephews christening and the priest made the parents attend for a couple of sundays prior to the christening date. Then the parents and the godparents had to have a meeting the day before but it was quite relaxed and felt more like a chat to get to know us!

I think it would be very unreasonable to expect a church to hold your christening without putting any effort into that church whatsoever. A bit of respect will go a long way IMO.

greenman09

We had our christening last year. Had to go to a christening meeting with someone from the community with the priest.
We had the christening in 2 masses. First was our welcome into be community and the second was the sacrament part of it. No requirement to go to mass every week or anything.
We aren't mass goers ourselves but we knew we had to do these things in order for baby to be christened

Sligo1

Ashbx wrote: »

I wouldn't quite say people are jumping through hoops!

If you want your child christened in A bit of respect will go a long way IMO.

A previous poster said that she knows someone who had to go to mass every Sunday for a month and swear she lived with her mother before the event. I most certainly would call that jumping through hoops tbh.

There are different ways people may pay respect to the Catholic Church and I don't necessarily think that means going to mass two times before a christening if the couple have no intention to go after the event or don't go regularly anyway. We pay our respects differently. The children will have a catholic upbringing and may go to church if they wish. They will take religion class. I pray regularly even if I don't go to church regularly. And I try my best to treat others with kindness and be as giving as I can. And various other things....

I don't think by going to church twice before a christening means you have paid more respect to the Catholic Church than those who haven't done the same.

Ashbx

Sligo1 wrote: »

A previous poster said that she knows someone who had to go to mass every Sunday for a month and swear she lived with her mother before the event. I most certainly would call that jumping through hoops tbh.

There are different ways people may pay respect to the Catholic Church and I don't necessarily think that means going to mass two times before a christening if the couple have no intention to go after the event or don't go regularly anyway. We pay our respects differently. The children will have a catholic upbringing and may go to church if they wish. They will take religion class. I pray regularly even if I don't go to church regularly. And I try my best to treat others with kindness and be as giving as I can. And various other things....

I don't think by going to church twice before a christening means you have paid more respect to the Catholic Church than those who haven't done the same.

Going to mass four times in your childs lifetime is jumping through hoops...really?

Im not saying by just going twice means is the only way you respect the catholic church but if you want the priest to make the effort to christen your child, why cant you make the effort with them too? I agree, we all pay our respects in our own way, but its the only thing the church want the parents to do so why not just do it?!

Sligo1

Ashbx wrote: »

Going to mass four times in your childs lifetime is jumping through hoops...really?

Im not saying by just going twice means is the only way you respect the catholic church but if you want the priest to make the effort to christen your child, why cant you make the effort with them too? I agree, we all pay our respects in our own way, but its the only thing the church want the parents to do so why not just do it?!

In your previous post you stated that if people want their children to be christened they should "pay a bit of respect and at least attend a couple of masses" and "a bit of respect will go a long way". Those were your direct quotes and I was simply stating that going to mass is not the only way to show respect. IMHO, for example, doing the things I do and will teach my children about their faith, far far far outweigh the benefits of going to mass only twice before the child's christening. And imho, that pays far far greater respect to the Catholic Church then going to mass 2 or 4 times as you state "in the child's entire life". You appear to be quite hung up on this notion of attending a couple of masses.

If our priest requested our presence at a couple of masses prior to the christening of our children then of course we would have attended. But he did not. I have heard many stories of people having to yes... wait for it... "jump through hoops" in order to have their child christened. That is my opinion which I am quite entitled to. And all I am merely saying here in response to your initial post is that people do and can pay respect in different ways. Your initial post seemed to say that the only way people can pay respect is to go to mass a couple of times. That is not true. That is just what the priest wants as a prior recommendation. Which is fine aswell.

greenflash

We have three kids. We're not religious and don't go to mass so we decided not to be hypocritical and have not had our kids christened. I want the best education and prospects for our children and that means not contributing to the perpetuation of farcical superstitious cults presiding over the education of Ireland 's young citizens.

Have a party for friends and family, welcome your kids into your lives and raise them in a caring and loving environment.

barneyrub

I think there should be more 'hoops to jump through'. Might stop people doing it just because and in turn push it further down the requirements for getting into certain schools. If everyone is baptised they won't change the enrollment policy

Ashbx

barneyrub wrote: »

I think there should be more 'hoops to jump through'. Might stop people doing it just because and in turn push it further down the requirements for getting into certain schools. If everyone is baptised they won't change the enrollment policy

The fact that in this day and age it is a requirement to get into certain schools is ridiculous!

BeardySi

greenflash wrote: »

Have a party for friends and family, welcome your kids into your lives and raise them in a caring and loving environment.

We tried to do this, the MOL wouldn't invite anyone - it wouldn't be right if there wasn't a christening apparently - Uncle soandso would take offence etc...

Was tempted to tell them all to go take a running jump and do it anyway, but that would have made it all about scoring points on them and not about the baby. In the end we spend a lovely weekend with my family instead.

Pawwed Rig

Ms2011 wrote: »

We were the same pretty much.

Us too. Call them to arrange, turn up on the day with some kind of donation and never darken their door again. Simples. Pity it is a necessity to get educational options in this country but that is another conversation.

testaccount123

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Pity it is a necessity to get educational options in this country but that is another conversation.

Its the same conversation.

Ashbx

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Us too. Call them to arrange, turn up on the day with some kind of donation and never darken their door again. Simples. Pity it is a necessity to get educational options in this country but that is another conversation.

Id be quite curious to get into this conversation....

Can I ask does it come up regularly that schools do not accept children because they are not christened or whats the issue? Does this issue just arise in catholic schools? I just never knew it was even a problem.

I didn't get baptised until I was 9 years old and was baptised with the Church of Ireland. And my parents had absolutely no problems sending me to a primary school or secondary school. Although I did go to multi denominational schools so I presume that's the difference?

Sligo1

Ashbx wrote: »

Id be quite curious to get into this conversation....

Can I ask does it come up regularly that schools do not accept children because they are not christened or whats the issue? Does this issue just arise in catholic schools? I just never knew it was even a problem.

I didn't get baptised until I was 9 years old and was baptised with the Church of Ireland. And my parents had absolutely no problems sending me to a primary school or secondary school. Although I did go to multi denominational schools so I presume that's the difference?

I think it depends really where you live and also the numbers of people applying for specific schools. For example, I went to secondary school in Sligo and having your child christened was not a massive issue to get into a school as the schools did not have massive numbers applying or numbers higher than the school may take.

In Dublin however, the numbers applying for a particular school may be far in excess of the actual intake. Therefore, the schools may make have a policy or a list of which students will have priority for entry. For example... Sons/daughters of past pupils, siblings, teachers sons/daughters, and in the case of a catholic school... Well they may prefer to give priority to those students who have been christened as opposed to those who haven't.

I'm a catholic and my kids will be brought up Catholic. But I don't really agree with school policies that dictate that those who haven't been christened are not eligible for enrollement in a particular school. But again, I think this is usually because the catholic schools gives priority to Catholics when numbers are in excess of intake. I "think" you will only really see this in the cities those as opposed to the smaller country towns? I could be wrong?

Ashbx

Sligo1 wrote: »

I think it depends really where you live and also the numbers of people applying for specific schools. For example, I went to secondary school in Sligo and having your child christened was not a massive issue to get into a school as the schools did not have massive numbers applying or numbers higher than the school may take.

In Dublin however, the numbers applying for a particular school may be far in excess of the actual intake. Therefore, the schools may make have a policy or a list of which students will have priority for entry. For example... Sons/daughters of past pupils, siblings, teachers sons/daughters, and in the case of a catholic school... Well they may prefer to give priority to those students who have been christened as opposed to those who haven't.

I'm a catholic and my kids will be brought up Catholic. But I don't really agree with school policies that dictate that those who haven't been christened are not eligible for enrollement in a particular school. But again, I think this is usually because the catholic schools gives priority to Catholics when numbers are in excess of intake. I "think" you will only really see this in the cities those as opposed to the smaller country towns? I could be wrong?

I do see where the catholic schools are coming from on this point and I suppose its their prerogative. I live in Dublin and am yet to have kids so I suppose I really haven't put much thought into the school requirements. I didn't think in this day and age this would be an issue though. Especially as we have so many races/religions in Ireland these days.

Sligo1

Ashbx wrote: »

I do see where the catholic schools are coming from on this point and I suppose its their prerogative. I live in Dublin and am yet to have kids so I suppose I really haven't put much thought into the school requirements. I didn't think in this day and age this would be an issue though. Especially as we have so many races/religions in Ireland these days.

Yea well that's the thing you see. If it is a catholic school they will usually give priority to Catholics which is understandable. In Sligo there was a Protestant Private school which gave priority to Protestants (back in the day but they might still I'm not sure). So it's the same thing really.

The Randy Riverbeast

Ashbx wrote: »

Id be quite curious to get into this conversation....

Can I ask does it come up regularly that schools do not accept children because they are not christened or whats the issue? Does this issue just arise in catholic schools? I just never knew it was even a problem.

I didn't get baptised until I was 9 years old and was baptised with the Church of Ireland. And my parents had absolutely no problems sending me to a primary school or secondary school. Although I did go to multi denominational schools so I presume that's the difference?

I dont think a child can be refused a place purely due to religion but if there are too many people applying for a place not being the right religion for the school allows them to put you at the bottom of the list. Some people would say that is fair enough but the problem is that about 90% of schools are one denomination.

Multi denominational dont tend to put you in order on the list due to religion so a Catholic and a non Catholic would be competing and a Catholic could get the place over another religion despite the only other options in the area being Catholic. I think there was mentions of prioritizing non Catholics but it kind of went against the whole everyone is equal thing they have going.

Pawwed Rig

The Randy Riverbeast wrote: »

Multi denominational dont tend to put you in order on the list due to religion so a Catholic and a non Catholic would be competing and a Catholic could get the place over another religion despite the only other options in the area being Catholic. I think there was mentions of prioritizing non Catholics but it kind of went against the whole everyone is equal thing they have going.

Also the non Catholic is often forced to participate in the Catholic ethos of the school

dori_dormer

The other point is also that most admissions go like this
1- Catholics
2- other religions
3- no religion

So you actually usually get a few kids of other religions in, and rarely unbaptised kids in high demand areas.

pwurple

dori_dormer wrote: »

The other point is also that most admissions go like this
1- Catholics
2- other religions
3- no religion

So you actually usually get a few kids of other religions in, and rarely unbaptised kids in high demand areas.

Most admissions? Where?

All of the 8 Cork schools I applied to gave me their admissions policies, and not one of them looked anything like that.

They generally went in this order:
1) Siblings of children already attending
2) Children within x area
3) Children of past pupils
4) Grandchildren of past pupils
5) children of larger area y.

1 of the 8 also had religion at the very bottom of their admission policies, it was a COI school, not Catholic.

BeardySi

Ashbx wrote: »

I do see where the catholic schools are coming from on this point and I suppose its their prerogative. I live in Dublin and am yet to have kids so I suppose I really haven't put much thought into the school requirements. I didn't think in this day and age this would be an issue though. Especially as we have so many races/religions in Ireland these days.

Not as long as they're funded by the state it isn't. If they want to fund themselves, then by all means let them set admission policies that proiritise catholics. If they're funded by the state (as nearly all of them are) then they shouldn't be allowed to discriminate on any grounds - or do they only take tax money that came from catholics?

pwurple

Ashbx wrote: »

Id be quite curious to get into this conversation....

Can I ask does it come up regularly that schools do not accept children because they are not christened or whats the issue? Does this issue just arise in catholic schools? I just never knew it was even a problem.

I didn't get baptised until I was 9 years old and was baptised with the Church of Ireland. And my parents had absolutely no problems sending me to a primary school or secondary school. Although I did go to multi denominational schools so I presume that's the difference?

I think it's a problem for a very small and vocal part of Dublin where they must be under served for schools in general, and that's about it.

lazygal

pwurple wrote: »

Most admissions? Where?

All of the 8 Cork schools I applied to gave me their admissions policies, and not one of them looked anything like that.

They generally went in this order:
1) Siblings of children already attending
2) Children within x area
3) Children of past pupils
4) Grandchildren of past pupils
5) children of larger area y.

1 of the 8 also had religion at the very bottom of their admission policies, it was a COI school, not Catholic.

All faith schools, and there's lots of them where we live, have siblings first and then those of the faith in the area, those of the faith outside the area, and then any other faiths. All have applied this policy more strictly in recent years. I've known people all over Dublin apply to up to 20 schools to be sure of a place and one person has been refused from 13 schools because the child isn't baptised. It's a major issue with our friends and wider circles who have children.

And the CofI schools are the most restrictive. Priority goes to active church members after siblings. There's no non CofI children in the two schools nearest to us with CorI patronage. I was told there was zero chance of even baptised Catholic children getting a place, never mind my heathens.

Sligo1

lazygal wrote: »

All faith schools, and there's lots of them where we live, have siblings first and then those of the faith in the area, those of the faith outside the area, and then any other faiths. All have applied this policy more strictly in recent years. I've known people all over Dublin apply to up to 20 schools to be sure of a place and one person has been refused from 13 schools because the child isn't baptised. It's a major issue with our friends and wider circles who have children.

And the CofI schools are the most restrictive. Priority goes to active church members after siblings. There's no non CofI children in the two schools nearest to us with CorI patronage. I was told there was zero chance of even baptised Catholic children getting a place, never mind my heathens.

Lol... Yes can be difficult to get into the COI schools. Even the one in Sligo!

Being christened is a major factor in the majority of catholic schools in Dublin. However, every school we've looked at (and that's A LOT), their admissions policy are nothing like that or how dori described. They are more along the lines of what Pwurple has said and then the faith stuff comes in at the end. It's usually all about siblings/relatives/past pupils etc etc first in all the schools we've looked at. And that's public and private. They are all catholic schools.

lazygal

Only one school within a reasonable distance of us doesn't limit enrolment on faith within the first three categories. And it's a school I would not consider great which is why it's able to let anyone who applies in. We're currently considering our school options and its depressing reading over and over that Catholic or protestant children from other areas in the country can get a place before our children are even considered for a place. That's before the indoctrination is taken into account.

Eta the school closest to us, which I attended, changed its policy recently. It used to be based on living within the area and we live two minutes from it. Now it's siblings, followed by Catholic children in the area, Catholic children from any other areas, then all other Christian faiths, then others. This was in the past couple of years, and apparently because too many non Catholic children were getting in according to a teacher I know in the school. They now look for a baptism cert which was not the case when I was there.