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Struggling to feel adequate...am I the only one?

  • 15-09-2015 5:52pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been struggling with this for years, and would love to hear your girls opinions on this.
    I've disliked myself for a long time. I started dieting when I was only 12 or 13. At the time I was suffering from puppy fat, which I quickly lost. This spiraled into years of dieting and binging. I thought as a teenager that I was obese, when in fact I was a normal healthy weight.
    All throughout my teens I've felt like less of a person, less worthy of attention from anyone.
    I convinced myself that I was ugly, and closed myself off from interactions with the opposite sex. I was quite plain when I was younger. I found that I did get attention from lads as I got older and wore makeup/contact lenses, yet this only reinforced to me the importance of looks, and how I was nothing to them beforehand, therefore their interest was shallow.
    I think all this inadequacy stemmed from my high interaction with magazines etc as an early teen, where I felt that those perfect bodies and faces were the norm, and I was, by default, hideous. I grew up in a family and friend group which was very into modesty, so I didn't really have real life bodies to compare myself to.
    I find that now, while I have a more rationale outlook on these things, I'm finding it hard to break the habits of years. I have it stuck in my head that I am ugly, and hence unworthy and 'less' of a person. I see it in my everyday interactions, such as not making eye contact with people, and blushing when speaking to attractive men, or men that might be flirty to me.
    I've taken steps to alleviate it, such as deleting instagram from my phone etc.
    I was just wondering if any of you ladies have also struggled with this insecurities or had any tips on how to change your behaviours? I don't want to shut off from relationships due to this.
    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Hi OP,

    I've moved your thread over to Personal Issues. I think it is better suited to here. You may also use unregistered posting here but please be advised that the PI charter now applies.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Lucy.


  • #3
    FizzleSticks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,172 ✭✭✭FizzleSticks


    This post has been deleted.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You're not alone. Personally I was a late bloomer and became a lot more attractive in later life and grew into myself. I feel this may have affected how I interact with the opposite sex because I still feel like that awkward young teenager.

    What I've realised is that sexual attraction is fickle. For example without offending anyone here, would you rather a nicely dressed man or a guy who tucks his pants into his socks?
    The reason I used this comparison is because you said in your OP that men seem to only base their attractive on looks. To an extent,this is true but once they get to know you and the connection and relationship matures,looks fade into the background and they love you for you.


  • #5
    not_quite_last
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 80 ✭✭not_quite_last


    You're definitely not alone OP. I'm in my early 30's and I'm still struggling with feeling adequate. I'm a good guy and I have a job, a house and a car. Everything I need and yet still don't feel I am enough. I have no reason to feel this way and yet I do. :-(


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