headwrecking

LegacyUser

i'm really caught in the middle in a situation . One of the girls in the office has recently broken up with her long term partner, and I know the real reasons why. Anyway she is really bad mouthing him , but in all fairness, what she did to him behind his back, and was doing for a long time, is far worse. Now everyone in the office is asking me what the story is, as we work on the same team and share a desk in the office. She had confided in me over the last few years of all her antics, and while I wasn't judging her then, i find it very difficult now to keep my mouth shut when everyone is feeling so sorry for her. I am just avoiding any questions , giving a generic answer like- oh she's going through a tough time at the moment, and it's not my place to discuss her personal life-when I know what an absolute b she has been, and if anyone knew the truth they would be shocked.
Truly I have tried to remain impartial, but it's just on my conscience the whole time. I feel like I've been put in a position to cover for her.
I know the only sensible option is to say nothing, and in any case , what she told me was in confidence, so I couldn't say anything anyway, but I can't help feeling that I've been taken for a mug because she knows I won't tell anyone the whole truth. I'm trying to keep my distance, and I can't go to my manager to get placed on another team , as I have a proven track record on this one, and the girl is a good worker in the end of the day. I just hope that this will pass sooner rather than later, as it is affecting me, and now that I have seen her true colours, I don't want to be associated with her at all.
Help....

Penny Tration

Leave her to it.

If anyone asks about it, just say 'I haven't a clue about her relationship, you'd have to ask her yourself mate,' and leave it at that.

Even thinking about moving to another department is mad, when it's all over someone being a bit of an idiot.

Leave her to it, keep your head down and be civil to her but not friendly or willing to listen to her crap.

Ursus Horribilis

You're doing the right thing by staying out of it and keeping your mouth shut. It is annoying at the moment but give it a week or two and it'll have got back to normal. You're also better off not falling out with workmates if you can help it.

Rubberchikken

could you explain to her that you may have to answer questions with the truth if the whole thing isn't put to sleep sooner rather than later?

it must be painful to have to listen to someone go on about someone else, especially if they treated that person badly at some stage, and now they are getting all the support.

MouseTail

Penny Tration wrote: »

If anyone asks about it, just say 'I haven't a clue about her relationship, you'd have to ask her yourself mate,' and leave it at that.

This ^^ just don't partake in office gossip. Simples.

strandroad

MouseTail wrote: »

This ^^ just don't partake in office gossip. Simples.

Exactly - if it puts you in such a predicament that you want to leave... you're gossiping to much! Stop discussing private lives of people who are not even friends at work.

For now just ignore the questions, again this is work, why do you feel you owe anyone such deeply personal information?