Humour me?

Noodles81

Hi, I've been getting scans over the last year and a half after a bout of pneumonia. Thought nothing of it, as I was told it was routine. Things have turned serious since last week when I had a biopsy for potential lung cancer...growths are growing rapidly, ie, not a good sign. I started smoking at 15 but gave them up twice for a year or more at a time over the years.

I will admit I have a love of the fags even though they are bad for me. My siblings have all successfully given them up but I still return to them in times of crises or socially for the craic and banter.

I'm 34 and afraid until I meet my consultant next week. I'm dying for one, but I'm on the nicorette gum.

After hours can you take my mind off this by making me laugh... I've never started a post before here on boards but need a distraction.

Sheep Lover

Well by the looks of it you'll be financially set for life, as you'll be popping your clogs soon enough. Silver linings and all that.

PandaPoo

I'm in labour if that helps, so like...it could be worse :P

dodderangler

A blonde walks into a bar
Think she would've seen it.





Sorry that's all I got.

Mena

PandaPoo wrote: »

I'm in labour if that helps, so like...it could be worse :P

The party or the birthing kind? Ah to hell with it. Live blog both.

biko

Go get drunk. Don't smoke.

whupdedo

I dislocated my shoulder 4 times , and your harping on about a bad cough pfffft

DEFTLEFTHAND

biko wrote: »

Go get drunk. Don't smoke.

I find cravings get worse when drinking.

PARlance

Rename thread to Tumour Me?

whupdedo

PandaPoo wrote: »

I'm in labour if that helps, so like...it could be worse :P

A dislocated shoulder is worser :P

Noodles81

Sheep Lover wrote: »

Well by the looks of it you'll be financially set for life, as you'll be popping your clogs soon enough. Silver linings and all that.

Don't you mean my family will?;-) That don't bother me...we all gonna go, at least I'll get to say my goodbyes...not to you though you miserable pr!ck!! ðŸ˜႒haha!

johnny osbourne

Noodles81 wrote: »

Hi, I've been getting scans over the last year and a half after a bout of pneumonia. Thought nothing of it, as I was told it was routine. Things have turned serious since last week when I had a biopsy for potential lung cancer...growths are growing rapidly, ie, not a good sign. I started smoking at 15 but gave them up twice for a year or more at a time over the years.

I will admit I have a love of the fags even though they are bad for me. My siblings have all successfully given them up but I still return to them in times of crises or socially for the craic and banter.

I'm 34 and afraid until I meet my consultant next week. I'm dying for one, but I'm on the nicorette gum.

After hours can you take my mind off this by making me laugh... I've never started a post before here on boards but need a distraction.

don't worry about it,

i inhaled a load of glass powder last year,

thought it was cocaine,

MakkaaPakkaa

Noodles81 wrote: »

Hi, I've been getting scans over the last year and a half after a bout of pneumonia. Thought nothing of it, as I was told it was routine. Things have turned serious since last week when I had a biopsy for potential lung cancer...growths are growing rapidly, ie, not a good sign. I started smoking at 15 but gave them up twice for a year or more at a time over the years.

I will admit I have a love of the fags even though they are bad for me. My siblings have all successfully given them up but I still return to them in times of crises or socially for the craic and banter.

I'm 34 and afraid until I meet my consultant next week. I'm dying for one, but I'm on the nicorette gum.

After hours can you take my mind off this by making me laugh... I've never started a post before here on boards but need a distraction.

Now might be a good time to catch up with those you feel you've lost touch with.
Cancer or no cancer.

Junkyard Tom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpJpzCBJPVc

boobar

Paddy is with the zookeeper.

Zookeeper says this gorilla is in heat, will you consider shagging it for €500?

Ok says Paddy, but I have 3 conditions

1 No kissing
2 My family must never find out
3 Will you give me a few weeks to come up with the cash?

johnny osbourne

PandaPoo wrote: »

I'm in labour if that helps, so like...it could be worse :P

breathe, push, breathe

you can do it mrs panda

Noodles81

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpJpzCBJPVc

Thank you JT, very funny!

PARlance

MakkaaPakkaa wrote: »

Now might be a good time to catch up with those you feel you've lost touch with.
Cancer or no cancer.

No need to do anything so rash... the results are back next week.

The last thing you want to do is tell everyone you love them and then find out that you're going to live for another 40 years.

Noodles81

biko wrote: »

Go get drunk. Don't smoke.

On it sergeant Biko, sir!

Mr. CooL ICE

Just watch The Wicker Man. Not the original; the 2006 remake

Noodles81

PARlance wrote: »

No need to do anything so rash... the results are back next week.

The last thing you want to do is tell everyone you love them and then find out that you're going to live for another 40 years.

Wise words...I don't have anything to do with some folk for a reason...and cancer, death, the end of civilisation won't change that...not that I'm bitter (!) but seriously I just don't care if I never see them again...alive or dead!

Noodles81

Hi just an update...no cancer thank God. A non life threatening respiratory problem resulting from the pneumonia.

Thanks for making me laugh. Black humour is great at those times. I'll never smoke a cigarette though again. Got the scare I needed.

aaronjumper

Noodles81 wrote: »

Hi just an update...no cancer thank God. A non life threatening respiratory problem resulting from the pneumonia.

Thanks for making me laugh. Black humour is great at those times. I'll never smoke a cigarette though again. Got the scare I needed.

Glad it worked out for you.

Now get out. :P

justchecked

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFwBH2fb2E0

but maybe ...

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/guilty-woman-convicted-of-three-sexual-assaults-in-prosthetic-penis-case-31528717.html

kylith

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

Just watch The Wicker Man. Not the original; the 2006 remake

Don't do this, OP. That film will give you cancer.

Melisandre121

OP I'm relieved for you. No more fags!

MistyCheese

And? Was he?

whupdedo

Good man , glad to hear it , just hope you never dislocate your shoulder :-D

Piriz

Noodles81 wrote: »

Hi just an update...no cancer thank God. A non life threatening respiratory problem resulting from the pneumonia.

Thanks for making me laugh. Black humour is great at those times. I'll never smoke a cigarette though again. Got the scare I needed.

Jesus, i just read this thread and it scared me.. glad it's not cancer.

fussyonion

I have a cold. I win all the sympathy.

youtube!

Noodles81 wrote: »

Hi just an update...no cancer thank God. A non life threatening respiratory problem resulting from the pneumonia.

Thanks for making me laugh. Black humour is great at those times. I'll never smoke a cigarette though again. Got the scare I needed.

I was gonna say it would be strange because no matter how much you smoke Lung cancer from smoking is virtually unheard of before the age of 40. Not saying it doesn't occur but would be rare in the extreme