The neighbour's dog and its poo

Roger Hassenforder

So we live in a small cul de sac, with a green area in front of a circle of houses. Our immediate neighbour's dog is left out during the day to fend for himself while they are at work/college/school. So he wanders around shitting everywhere, goes in for his dinner, comes out for another crap, and goes to bed.

So the green has a lot of turds, in various stages of crustation and degradation. Every time the kids go out to play, at least one of them stands in a turd, so there's usually a shoe left in the porch for me to de-poo when I get home from work.

Whenever there is a play date organised, I am despatched to to a quick recce and gather up of turds so the friends dont end up tracking the poo all over the house.

I've expressed my annoyance, so they are fully aware of the issue, and once in a while, make a scene gathering turds. I even squealed to the Council who put up about 10 anti dog-fouling signs around the place.

As I chipped encrusted dogshit of one of kids tackie with a 4" round headed nail again tonight, I started to think "this has got to bloody stop".

my options seem to be limited to:

• poisoning the fecking dog. I'd probably feel bad for a couple of days, but I'm sure I'd get over it.
• furtively gather fresh turds at night and deposit them in their garden.
• Start planting little crosses beside each turd until the place resembles Arlington which might shame them into action.
• Wait for one of the kids to get toxocariasis and express my indignation.
• take a crap myself in their garden/porch at night
• poison the damn dog

I usually love dogs, but I'm starting to hate this one. He isnt even that friendly. I don't think they even like him that much.
Any other suggestions?

Specialun

Sure we all go to drop one after a bit of grub

NachoBusiness

Eh, don't poison the dog. It's the owner that's the issue. Report them.

http://www.dspca.ie/DogOwnersLegalResponsiblities

Roger Hassenforder

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Eh, don't posion the dog.

ok, I'm not going to poison the damn mutt; I'm all talk.
Need ideas though...

Notavirus.exe

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

I even squealed to the Council who put up about 10 anti dog-fouling signs around the place.

Dogs can read?

cowboyBuilder

Throw the dog**** in their letterbox.

Seriously, I´m sick of this issue myself, it´s f*cking disgusting and people need to realise a dog is a responsibility, you can´t leave a dog wandering about while at work.

kylith

Report to the warden, and keep reporting. It is illegal to allow a dog to roam.

Also, gather up all the shte and dump it on their front step.

not yet

Buy a bigger vicious dog to scare the sh1t out of him (no pun intended)

And run him out of town with his paw..

jamesbere

Poison the owners, they wont expect that.

darkpagandeath

Scoop it all up with a shovel into a bucket and dump it on there car/lawn/driveway.

316

Smear the dog poo all over their property.

Vandango

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

I usually love dogs...

Yet you list poisoning as an option.

Catch him everyday after they leave and tie him up inside their garden, the mutt will do his ****ting in their garden. It will pi*s them off and keep the green area clean. Win win!

Mint Aero

10 f*ckink signs????

Damn you. Damn you to hell.

man up. **** is good for your little darlings.

Specialun

Get the dog to poison the owners

Lockheed

I'd only think about poisoning if the dog came onto my property and started to harass my dog/cat/ whatever animal, it seems a bit harsh for a dog only doing what nature intended it to do, contact the pet owners and tell them if this does not stop you'll take it further

Smidge

I wouldn't let this go with the owner. Dog dirt can be dangerous for kids(they might indavertantly handle it while playing on the green).

Disgusting.

the_syco

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

poison the damn dog

Does all of your kids have good health insurance? Does your house have insurance? Do you like your car that much? Be careful when you f**k with someones pet.

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

furtively gather fresh turds at night and deposit them in their garden.

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

take a crap myself in their garden/porch at night

These are two good ones, but instead of putting it in their driveway, put it near their car on the pavement, to increase the chances of them having to endure a commute in a car smelling of poop.

Roger Hassenforder

Notavirus.exe wrote: »

Dogs can read?

the signs have a pictogram for the dogs, text for the owners.

Vandango wrote: »

Yet you list poisoning as an option.

I'm not going to poison the fcuker

316

the_syco wrote: »

Be careful when you f**k with someones pet.

You should not be having sexual relations with pets.

the_syco

the_syco wrote: »

Does all of your kids have good health insurance? Does your house have insurance? Do you like your car that much? Be careful when you f**k with someones pet.

How will they know who did it in an estate full of people?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Our immediate neighbour's dog is left out during the day to fend for himself
...
I even squealed to the Council who put up about 10 anti dog-fouling signs around the place.

Hang on - are you saying the dog is left outside in a public area unattended for hours, and the council only put up signs...?

Pretty sure that's not legal - the council need to get onto the dog-pound and arrange a pickup.

Notavirus.exe

Cason Proud Resistance wrote: »

How will they know who did it in an estate full of people?

The OP seems to be the only one who has complained about the dog to both the owners and the local council. There's a motive right there.

Haznat

This happened in the estate I grew up in. My da suggested we get all the **** and throw it at their house one evening. The gards were called. They said they couldn't do anything because we were kids. The owner of the dog got a telling off and the dogs were never out alone again. This was a long time ago though. Not sure how it would go down now.

The Randy Riverbeast

Smear **** all over the dog. Let the owners see what its like to clean it up.

CramCycle

Put the dog **** in a brown paper bag, light the top of the bag on their doorstep. Ring the doorbell, run away and giggle.

booooring!

Video the dog for a couple of days roaming free. Send to council and ask them to have a word.

If that fails drop your pants and sh*t on their doorstep and see how they like it.

Borderfox

Poo put in paper bag on doorstep and set on fire, knock knock and record for our hilarity

Notavirus.exe

Take the dog to court.

booooring!

Bake them a cake and say sorry for been so grumpy and put in the secret ingredient!

wil

Dognapping

Kidnap dog.
Strap nappy to dog.
Release dog.



Alternatively

Kidnap dog.
Take to dog whisperer.
After 2 weeks retrieve dog.
Pay whisperer (quietly)
Release dog.

Dog will be so accustomed to whispering, one raised voice and he'll go whimpering back to own home tail between legs.

moc moc a moc

the_syco wrote: »

Be careful when you f**k with someones pet.

He wants to poison it, not f**k it.

I hope...

Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius!

Gather up the sh!t and pile it all on their front doorstep. Does anyone look at their doorstep when they leave in the mornings? I dont, I walk straight out.

Do they have windows open during the day? Sneak up and drop it in the window either....oh im mean!!

Cant punish the dog though, it doesnt know any better.

MD1990

Your neighbours obviously just don't give a sh!t about this

pablo128

Stop messing about and just poison the fcuking thing. Shur its only an auld dog for fcuk sake.:pac:

wil

MD1990 wrote: »

Your neighbours obviously just don't give a sh!t about this

Thankfully. Dogsh!t is bad enough, but human sh!t would be a step too far

Gwynplaine

Lure him into the boot of your car, and go for a long drive and let him out somewhere.

BunkMoreland

Have sex with the dog

Noodles81

My neighbours have a sh#t attack if they even think a dog has done their business on the green and it's all over our private page on Facebook...naming and shaming, no bother to them. Thought it was a bit much but prefer it to a green covered in heaps of brown surprises every foot or so. Yuck. And the poor kids trying to play...it's not on, your neighbours are taking the pee.

Oh and Arlington made me laugh...poop cemetery!! Jobbie F Krapp (JFK) is definitely buried there!;-)

Roger Hassenforder

A happy post script to my canine faeces themed jeremiad:

The bo110x got run over by a neighbour last week. Kicking a ball around with the kids this evening, not a sch1t in sight. Happy days*

Armchair Andy

Sets up nicely for the Stockholm Syndrome,soon enough you or one of the kids is gonna start shìtting all over the lawn again.

Roger Hassenforder

Armchair Andy wrote: »

Sets up nicely for the Stockholm Syndrome,soon enough you or one of the kids is gonna start shìtting all over the lawn again.

Couple of years I'll be sch1tting my self, won't even make it as far as the green. Kids won't even want to know me!

Junkyard Tom

RIP Mr Poopenwolfe.