stressed out so much

umbrelladoll

I walked out of my job today. Didn't quit but had enough of my manger. He has been at me for years now. Little thing after little thing and been chipping away at me. Today it came to a head and I said I'm going home. I went to the doctor and explained the situation and was told I could have 6 months off if I wish. But I don't want that. I want to come back but to a new section. My boss blocked my transfer 3 times in the last 6 moths and said I'm going nowhere. So I'm just wondering what are my options? What can I do now. I've never been out sick before so I'm not even sure how long I'll be paid for. I feel like I need a week or two away from the place though. Any help? Thanks

whiskeyman

That sounds awful. You poor thing.
I was just about to say you should post this in the work problems forums, but you have so fair play.
You need to get your head I'm the right place.
Can you move jobs? Are you happy in the area you work and is it just this particular boss?
Take advice on the other forum re legal / hr action.

For the moment, look after yourself. Do you have friends and family you can lean on for support?
Take care

umbrelladoll

Hi thanks for your reply. I got a few on the other forum too. Just new here and needed advise. Very upset this evening and feel like I'm the guilty one. I love my job but it's just my boss making it horrible for me. I'm worried about my pay too cause I've never been out sick. Not sure how long I'll get paid etc.

dellas1979

umbrelladoll wrote: »

My boss blocked my transfer 3 times in the last 6 moths and said I'm going nowhere.

You need to stand up for yourself and make a complaint. What have you got to loose at this stage? Youve everything to gain.

I cannot stand/abide by managers who do things like this to other employees. Like a power trip. And they are getting away with it the longer you leave it/keep your mouth shut. Your manager should want to get the best out of you. Be productive. At the end of the day, loosing a good employee will probably cost the company money (and you your wage).

Time to pipe up OP.

Sudance

Ah god you poor thing, I know what it's like to be in your shoes and it's not only emotionally draining but also exhausting, highly stressful and it can get to the point that you can't see the wood for the trees, so dont know what to do or how to approach it

Firstly, if I were you I would log every single dealing you have with this manager, date and time them all. If you can't do it at work, then keep a little notepad handy that you can just jot down the bare bones, or even just clues to remind you what happened/was said, then later write it up with as much detail as you can. Include every single thing that is related, e.g. did anyone else hear/see/comment on the occurence, what did they say.

Read up on your rights, the difference between bullying and constructive dismissal, and what the company's complaint procedure is in this kind of event.

Do not be fooled into feeling guilty for someone elses behaviour. Once you are armed to the teeth with knowledge about what is and what isn't acceptable/legal/tolerable by either you or your employer then you will be able to see much clearer and easier when this manager has crossed the line.

If you enjoy your work, then it's unlikely you are an employee the company wants to lose.

then, when you have a log of all that's happened. You could, if you felt up to it, bring the list of occurences to this persons attention and tell them enough is enough that they wont be getting a second chance to start behaving in a more professional manner towards you. If you can't, then you will have to go to their manager, or directly to HR if the company has a HR dept.

Get the sick cert off the doctor with a letter explaining the back story and follow the companies complaints procedure. This will probably be scary as hell, because it means you will be rocking the boat a bit, but it sounds like you are not going to get any peace until you do do something about it.

If you have someone managerial in the company you could talk to in confidence they might be able to give you some guidance/direction and maybe even some insight into any of the political crap that goes on in the work place.

Once you've escalated your complaint then it 's up to the company. they have to follow their own procedure and make sure they are giving you feedback, telling you what's happening and what you should expect, and when you should expect it. it will probably involve a closed door meeting, and might even lead to a face to face with a 3rd party involved, but that depends on the company.

If this manager is making your life a misery, and you keep a log of it, and have documents to show that you have followed the complaints procedure and the company does not address it to your satisfaction, then you can always leave and find another job. And pursue a constructive dismissal case against them. In fact, I would probably tell HR that it feels like you are being forced to quit your job. If nothing sets off alarm bells with them up to this point, then hinting at constructive dismissal definitely should.

If you are a member of a union, definitely contact your union rep.

I had better add: Legislation about this kind of thing as well as company policies/procedures are always changing, so make sure you are familiar with what's current as I am not totally up to date on this kind of stuff and I am entirely open to being corrected/told I'm wrong/or your being told a better and maybe even easier way to go about this.

Hope you get it sorted out soon

umbrelladoll

Well I went into the job today to meet with the company nurse and the union. In the end I told them I want to come back to work and I'm willing to having an informal meeting to try and sort this all out. I then found out as I was leaving that my boss has put me AWOL and I won't get paid if that's the case. Ive sent in my doctors sick cert but was told they can challenge that because I walked out the other day. Even though it was due to stress. I was also told my boss doesn't want an informal meeting and in the union guys words "hammer me" was leaving the other day.

Sudance

Yeh, it's sad but true, but these days you have to be really careful about what you do and say, or they really will hammer you if they can catch you out on anything....and your walking out may be their get out clause. It's really ****e the way people can get away with something because they know how to bend the rules better than someone else.

Id be asking myself is this job really worth the stress and grief it's causing me. Some things are just not worth it.

What do you think you will do?

martin101

I know. I'm in the same boat