Called out for being 'quiet'

LegacyUser

This always seems to happen to me. I'm pretty quiet when it comes to banter because I'm not very funny by nature, but I'm light spirited and love a laugh, I just let others innate the 'banter'. It always seems to happen when I'm sitting around with some guys and girls and some new girl I've never met will turn to me and comment on how quiet I am.

Just weird, its happened quite a lot in my life.

zoobizoo

What age are you? I never understand why someone would say that to some one else but it usually stops when people get older.

Stheno

zoobizoo wrote: »

What age are you? I never understand why someone would say that to some one else but it usually stops when people get older.

I'm in my forties, and people often comment on how quiet I am in a group. I'm relatively introverted and fine with it tbh, but it's not something that has lessened as I've gotten older.

dee_mc

I think it's usually a well meaning person trying to involve you, as in 'you're keeping quiet, what have you to add to the conversation?'
I've had it said a few times over the years by people I'd never met before and although it's usually termed as an accusation, as far as I can tell it's generally meant as an invitation...

johnnyskeleton

alwayshappens wrote: »

This always seems to happen to me. I'm pretty quiet when it comes to banter because I'm not very funny by nature, but I'm light spirited and love a laugh, I just let others innate the 'banter'. It always seems to happen when I'm sitting around with some guys and girls and some new girl I've never met will turn to me and comment on how quiet I am.

Just weird, its happened quite a lot in my life.

If youre a straight guy, a girl asking you why youre quiet could be a sign of interest. Try tell them what you honestly think of the topic at hand, even if its just "Ive never seen that programme" or "Im apolitical".

Sometimes if someone asks why Im being quiet I give them a bit of Shakespeare - "give every man thyne ear, but few thy voice". Some people will be intrigued, others will recognise the quote and a few will think youre being rude (especially if the conversation up to that point was about strictly come dancing). Luckily Ive no interest in talking to the third type of person, so its a good filtering system.

LegacyUser

I'm good at conversations about things but I'm terrible at banter. We weren't exactly sitting around a table drinking wine and discussing Brecht. Like I said I get so invested when something sparks my interest but when it comes to 'playful banter' I just can't do it. My friends on the other hand are complete opposite, something which the girl commented on. TBH I don't get offended by it like I used to, I was just like 'I'm happy to just sit and chill' but its just weird that it is a recurring theme.

robbiezero

alwayshappens wrote: »

This always seems to happen to me. I'm pretty quiet when it comes to banter because I'm not very funny by nature, but I'm light spirited and love a laugh, I just let others innate the 'banter'. It always seems to happen when I'm sitting around with some guys and girls and some new girl I've never met will turn to me and comment on how quiet I am.

Just weird, its happened quite a lot in my life.

When someone says to you that you are very quiet, just answer

"Yes".

zoobizoo

Ah Banter - it's a word I really dislike. I've been out with people I work with who love "banter" and they have been the most boring nights because no one is willing to have an actual conversation.

If I'm with my friends, I certainly have a laugh through conversation.

I'm a similar age and if someone called me on my personality like that, I really would generally ask them why they say that and get into a conversation with them about it. It may have bee an attempt to get you to open up a bit.