Issues with merging onto roads

Evelynmc

I'm a really nervous driver and I've just started in a new store with the company I'm working for, driving is only option to get there. I normally would only drive down the road to the shop on my own. I'm much more comfortable if I've someone in the car with me but still pretty nervous!

I've had to force myself to drive to work as I have no other choice and I'm hating it and constantly worrying about it. Today was day 4 of doing it and I feel like a complete disaster.

My biggest issue on the route is on the way home. There's two places I have to merge once coming down from Mahon point in cork into the road before the tunnel and second before the roundabout heading back to the city.

I got 2 hours of lessons on Monday because I was so worried. He showed me how to use the car merging from behind me as a shield for me to merge but that opportunity isn't always there.

One of the days I merged very late and got beeped by the car behind. This scared the day lights out of me and I was shaking like a leaf the rest of way home. As extreme as it sounds in my head I'm not going to make it home in one piece one of these days. I just can't judge the distance very well and they are flying on that road.

My instructor said on Monday that if all comes to all I can stop at the very end of the merge lane and take my time but their going so fast I don't know if I would have enough time to go as their going so fast.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm close to giving up.

ProudDUB

Do you have a full driving license and did you pass your test, or are you still a learner?

cantdecide

I commute home under the tunnel from Mahon too but head east

Don't give up. Learning is a process and you're at the early stages. Today it's merging, next week it'll be something else and the week after that, it'll be something else again.

The ideal thing for merging is to match your speed to the traffic already on the road. I understand that you're nervous now but once you familiarise yourself with the lie of the land on your commute, you will soon get comfortable. The chances of you struggling with this in six or eight weeks is extremely low.

In my opinion, observation and being able to depend confidently on your observation is the key. I would suggest that you could start by practicing meaningful mirror observations while driving on the straight main roads when safe to do so- practice looking at all the mirrors in sequence and trying to glean as much information in the shortest time. You could get used to looking over your shoulder while driving on the straight. Once you know you can depend on what you're seeing over your shoulders and in your mirrors, you'll gain the confidence you need.

Be nerdy about your driving- go and practice it. Ask patient friends and family to practice with you. You won't get comfortable without challenging yourself. I suggest that you'll be on that road a lot if you're commuting on it- you could hit it when the roads are quiet and just do some loops between the tunnel and Mahon Point for an hour for some practice. It'll be slightly different each time. Get in your mirrors and over your shoulder and challenge yourself to get up through the gears.

The bad thing about that merging lane by Mahon is that if differs slightly every day depending on if the traffic for the tunnel is heavy or backing up. If it's very heavy you can meander your way down and negotiate your way in. If it's very light, there are bigger gaps between the cars so you can bomb down the lane and build your speed up to match the other traffic and slip out. Once you cover more and more scenarios, you will be less daunted.

Evelynmc

ProudDUB wrote: »

Do you have a full driving license and did you pass your test, or are you still a learner?

I'm on my 3rd learner (yes I know I'm not supposed to drive without full licence driver but as per above I've no choice)

ProudDUB

I'm sorry, but if you are that bad & nervous a driver, stop driving alone, until you have passed your test & you have more confidence from practicing your driving in less stressful circumstances. Get a taxi/lift to work until you have. There are no excuses good enough to warrant killing yourself or someone else.

I know this sounds harsh, but someone who posts this, should NOT be driving on busy roads, on their own. You have a duty of care to other road users.

This scared the day lights out of me and I was shaking like a leaf the rest of way home. As extreme as it sounds in my head I'm not going to make it home in one piece one of these days. I just can't judge the distance very well and they are flying on that road.

OttoPilot

Not to sound harsh but if you're on your third permit and you still can't merge you have got to stop driving alone. (I'm assuming you've been getting lessons for all 3..)

Not only is it dangerous but it's making you a worse driver because by your own admission, you're shaking after, full of adrenaline, which will make you take more risks on the road.

cantdecide

To the OP: how did your instructor advise you to proceed?

Pov06

Can you show us perhaps on Google Maps where exactly you are struggling to merge? Is it 2 lanes merging into 1 lane or 2 roads merging into a single road?

I wouldn't worry about it to be honest. Merging is really easy even if you are not a good at it. If you have an ignorant driver who doesn't want to let you in just let them go through, you will find another gap for example.

It's hard to give you tips without seeing the road really.

nkay1985

It's kind of hard to being yourself to do it, but driving faster before you need to merge makes merging way easier. If you're going 50kmph and every car on the road you're merging onto is going 80kmph, it feels like they're flying past you (at 30kmph). That makes it seem like there's not enough room for you to merge. If you get up to around the same speed, you just need a small gap, indicate and drift over.

Being scared is probably causing you to drive slower, which is making merging seem more difficult which is then making you drive slower and on it goes in a vicious circle.

The best thing you can do is to practice this in the exact spot at quieter times, but implementing the same method. That should make you more comfortable to do it when you need to.

But, like a lot of others, I'd be concerned for you if you're still this nervous about something like merging on your third provisional.

Evelynmc

Thanks for all the advice I probably should have made clearer that even though I'm on my third provisional I haven't been driving for a lot of that, I've only driven for the past year off and on just trying to get more confident. I'm well able for most of it just the merging is the current hurdle and the nervousness, @ nkay1985 your spot on, I am scared to go fast but I see that I will have to of I'm to get used to merging, I guess I just feel like a mouse surrounded by a bunch of elephants :P

Evelynmc

Pov06 wrote: »

Can you show us perhaps on Google Maps where exactly you are struggling to merge? Is it 2 lanes merging into 1 lane or 2 roads merging into a single road?

I wouldn't worry about it to be honest. Merging is really easy even if you are not a good at it. If you have an ignorant driver who doesn't want to let you in just let them go through, you will find another gap for example.

It's hard to give you tips without seeing the road really.

It's a pretty straight forward merge (for most :P)

kerry4sam

Evelynmc wrote: »

I'm a really nervous driver and I've just started in a new store with the company I'm working for, driving is only option to get there. I normally would only drive down the road to the shop on my own. I'm much more comfortable if I've someone in the car with me but still pretty nervous!

I've had to force myself to drive to work as I have no other choice and I'm hating it and constantly worrying about it. Today was day 4 of doing it and I feel like a complete disaster.

My biggest issue on the route is on the way home. There's two places I have to merge once coming down from Mahon point in cork into the road before the tunnel and second before the roundabout heading back to the city.

I got 2 hours of lessons on Monday because I was so worried. He showed me how to use the car merging from behind me as a shield for me to merge but that opportunity isn't always there.

One of the days I merged very late and got beeped by the car behind. This scared the day lights out of me and I was shaking like a leaf the rest of way home. As extreme as it sounds in my head I'm not going to make it home in one piece one of these days. I just can't judge the distance very well and they are flying on that road.

My instructor said on Monday that if all comes to all I can stop at the very end of the merge lane and take my time but their going so fast I don't know if I would have enough time to go as their going so fast.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm close to giving up.

cantdecide wrote: »

To the OP: how did your instructor advise you to proceed?

Can you tell us:
~ Have you L-plates up? Would help when you are this concerned.
~ Does your instructor know you're this anxious and nervous and worried whilst on a learning permit, driving on your own, sometimes at peak/very-busy times?
Have a read here please particularly page 2 on the left-column which states

These collisions tend to occur when our bodies are at a natural low point during the early hours of the morning, between 2-6am and between 3-5pm.

ProudDUB wrote: »

I'm sorry, but if you are that bad & nervous a driver, stop driving alone, until you have passed your test & you have more confidence from practicing your driving in less stressful circumstances. Get a taxi/lift to work until you have. There are no excuses good enough to warrant killing yourself or someone else.

I know this sounds harsh, but someone who posts this, should NOT be driving on busy roads, on their own. You have a duty of care to other road users.

Completely agree with this.

I Think OP you should practice more in the company of someone else before taking to the road and taking the dangerous risk you're currently taking. I mean, shaking like a leaf all the way home? Did you have the cop-on to pull over / get off the road and take a breather before you continued? Sounds like you risked further by continuing. Hope I'm reading that wrong.

Thanks,
kerry4sam

Delira

I could have written this post almost word for word 2 months ago. I lost my lift to work and had no public transport options so was forced to start commuting alone too (I was on my first permit though).

I had to merge and then change lane after the Kinsale Rd roundabout and then merge again at the Glanmire roundabout after the tunnel, (so almost identical scenario to you) and for the first 2 weeks I found it terrifying.

I had no confidence in my judgement and got beeped too on my first day after I made a bad call so I know exactly how you feel. One thing that helped me was that I made my instructor and family members practice it with me numerous times,(i'd do it my route a couple of times almost every evening after work) until eventually I was able to do it without sh*tting myself.

Also, it really does help a lot to get your speed up to as close to 100kph as you possibly can and indicate as soon as the cars behind you can see you. If you're going slower its easy for them to be up your backside before you know it.

Believe me it does get easier! I still find it a little scary sometimes but the key is just keep doing it and eventually you WILL become more confident. I know I'm saying the opposite to everyone else here but I dont think you should give up. Good luck!

ProudDUB

Delira wrote: »

Believe me it does get easier! I still find it a little scary sometimes but the key is just keep doing it and eventually you WILL become more confident. I know I'm saying the opposite to everyone else here but I dont think you should give up. Good luck!

And will you still say that if the OP kills themself, or someone else by their utterly clueless - by their own admission - driving?

I know I'm going to be hit hard by the "oh get down off your high horse" brigade, but I don't care. Every time the OP gets behind the wheel of their car, he/she is charge of a two ton lethal weapon that can kill. To keep on driving alone and in such dangerous conditions, when he/she is so lacking in basic driving ability, is downright criminal. I can't believe the mods have even left this thread open.

syklops

ProudDUB wrote: »

And will you still say that if the OP kills themself, or someone else by their utterly clueless - by their own admission - driving?

I know I'm going to be hit hard by the "oh get down off your high horse" brigade, but I don't care. Every time the OP gets behind the wheel of their car, he/she is charge of a two ton lethal weapon that can kill. To keep on driving alone and in such dangerous conditions, when he/she is so lacking in basic driving ability, is downright criminal. I can't believe the mods have even left this thread open.

You wont get hit by me. I agree 100%.

OP, if you drive alone on a provisional and get stopped and asked for your license, you could lose the ability to drive for the next few years.

Hang on, why/how do you have a car and not a full driving license?

Batzoo

Evelynmc wrote: »

I got 2 hours of lessons on Monday because I was so worried. He showed me how to use the car merging from behind me as a shield for me to merge but that opportunity isn't always there.

First, Never use another vehicle on the road as a shield. Your instructor should know better. Get a new instructor.

Second, is there an alternative slower route available which avoids the N road? Might be a longer journey but will help you gain practice and confidence.

Third, don't let someone beeping force you to do something stupid, you can only be in control of your own car. Do not be pressured into pulling into moving traffic if you don't feel the timing is correct. Ignore the beepers. Drivers already on the faster moving N road should be aware when the road merges and should be prepared for other cars to pull out in front of them. Some people don't afford this opportunity to people trying to merge and try to block them from merging (spite or ego I cant decide). I have had cars speed match me to try and block merging in the past, lunatics, ignore them. You will also find some drivers who will speed up when they see an indicator in a merging lane. Practice, practice, practice is the only way you will get used to this.


You just need more practice. Drive the route on your time off several times when it will be less busy, don't go at rush hours. Try and be accompanied by a full license holder who knows not to talk too much and distract you. You will soon learn every bump and pot hole. This will give you more confidence about where you should be and the speed at which you should be traveling. Once you have driven the route a couple of hundred times you will wonder what all the fuss was about.


Ultimatly though, you should not be driving under these circumstances but I understand you have no option so what I would suggest is, can you carpool with collegues? If you must drive the route alone and its the going home leg that causes the most concern. Maybe after work, reward yourself, go and have a coffee and a donut and take thirty minutes before travelling. This may give the traffic a chance to ease and make your journey safer.

J_R

Hi,

AS Bat says it is dangerous to use another vehicle as a guide (or shield). Other driver could be a dangerous lunatic.

To use in the situation mentioned, if that car joins the dual carriageway before you, the roles are now reversed, they now have priority over you.

Learn one thing at a time.

Are you completely happy with "moving off" - under full control, no danger of stalling ? If not, find out how to move off, then practice until perfect.

On a quiet stretch of road or dual carriageway, practice speeding briskly up to 100 Km/h from 30/40 Km/h. Slow down, do it all over again. (Not forgetting your Obs and mirrors)


When happy with that, practice changing lanes at different speeds. Ending up at 100 Km/h (again on a quiet c'way and obs & MSM )


When happy with lane changing and by now your subconscious mind should be more or less controlling the car go and learn to deal with merging traffic.

Take a drive past the junctions that are giving you problems. Make a mental note of your position when you are still a nice safe distance from a car joining. When you now come to join you have a rough reference point for a safe merge.

(If the overtaking lane is clear you should of course move over, give the car joining the driving lane. But courtesy driving does not appear to be taught/practiced in Ireland.)

Henry9

Jesus Christ, this country.

You are unqualified to drive, yet you persist on driving on a road that you can't handle, makes you nervous and a danger to yourself and others.
Saying you don't have a choice is nonsense, the inconvenience of the alternatives doesn't entitle you to get behind the wheel of a car.