I'm having my dog put down this afternoon.

LegacyUser

I've had her since I was 15, and now I am about to turn 32. She's been with me for half my teens, my entire 20s and into my thirties. I can barely remember my life without her. But she's had little quality of life for a while now due to several medical conditions. I should have had her put down earlier but selfishly couldn't bear to lose her. However she has really deteriorated over the past few days and the vet is coming to put her down in four and a half hours. She has been there for me through so much, cancer, bereavements, depression and many other things. I think of her as my daughter. I am crying my eyes out as I write this. My life will be so empty without her.

magicmushroom

Your post has actually bought a few tears to my eye - the loss of a pet is heart breaking, on par with a close family member and I am so sorry for you.

It all sounds so cliché, telling you you're doing the right thing - but you are.
Comfort yourself with that in the coming days. And know that she'd thank you for it if she could.

Spend the next few hours laying with her, savour them and try to be strong.

I fully understand your pain right now, I've been there myself.

kylith

Oh, you poor thing! It's heartbreaking when they leave us. Please take solace in the fact that you are doing the very best thing for her and that she knows you have given her the very best life that she could have had, and she knows that.

I had to have both of mine pts earlier this year and though I was inconsolable at the time I know now that I did the right thing for them.

Take care of yourself and don't be afraid to cry as much as you need to.

Emme

Poor you. I had to get a 15 year old dog friend put to sleep last November and I am crying as I write this. It was the most heartbreaking thing I ever had to do and the pain was worse than any break-up. It will not be easy but see it as a sacrifice for her comfort. You don't want her to suffer in any way. Say goodbye to her and be there for her while she is being put to sleep. It will not be easy but you will know that you did your best for her.

Pawwed Rig

Sorry to hear this. It is no different to losing a family member. Take care over the next few days/weeks.

Ursus Horribilis

So sorry to read this too. I had to go through this and it was one of the saddest things I've ever experienced. Take care of yourself and don't be afraid to cry lots. Also - and this is from the school of the bleedin' obvious - don't bother talking to non dog lovers about this. They won't understand why you're in bits

michellie

Oh this has brought tears to my eyes. We had to put our fur baby down a year and a half ago, like you we got him when i was a teenager, im 31 now, its so hard, we were all heartbroken.

dudara

Please note that the offering or soliciting of PMs on the Personal Issues / Relationship Issues forum is strictly forbidden. Any future such mentions will result in moderator action.

dudara

magicmushroom

dudara wrote: »

Please note that the offering or soliciting of PMs on the Personal Issues / Relationship Issues forum is strictly forbidden. Any future such mentions will result in moderator action.

dudara

Sorry, didn't know - was trying to be nice!
Didn't mean to break forum rules, apologies.

conor8989

endofmyworld wrote: »

I've had her since I was 15, and now I am about to turn 32. She's been with me for half my teens, my entire 20s and into my thirties. I can barely remember my life without her. But she's had little quality of life for a while now due to several medical conditions. I should have had her put down earlier but selfishly couldn't bear to lose her. However she has really deteriorated over the past few days and the vet is coming to put her down in four and a half hours. She has been there for me through so much, cancer, bereavements, depression and many other things. I think of her as my daughter. I am crying my eyes out as I write this. My life will be so empty without her.

one word sorry

brumaio

From where I come from this is not very common and I never knew anyone who had to do this, but I am so sorry for you...
I don't know what you are going through but be strong and try not to stay on your own. Go to a friends house or something... just don't be by yourself too much okay?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies everyone. 25 minutes to go until the vet arrives.

brumaio wrote: »

From where I come from this is not very common and I never knew anyone who had to do this, but I am so sorry for you...
I don't know what you are going through but be strong and try not to stay on your own. Go to a friends house or something... just don't be by yourself too much okay?

Unfortunately due to health problems and depression I live with my mother and have lost contact with all my friends. My dog is my only friend.

njs030

Thinking of you op, your dog must have had an amazing life to live so long, I'm sure she is proud of you for being so brave and making the right decision. As hard as it is you should always remember that you made the right and unselfish choice and you loved her enough to put yourself second.

We are here to talk to and listen to you anytime you want to post in this thread x

Pyr0

Had to put my dog down last year for similar reasons, as much as it broke my heart, I felt better knowing it was the right thing to do and that he wasn't suffering any more. I think of him nearly everyday still and I'm glad I have my memories and photos to remind me how much of a great dog he was.

We arranged for a singular cremation as usually they are done in groups (strays and the like) his ashes sit in a lovely little box with his picture and name on it in our living room, still with us until we see him again

Take care

Emme

endofmyworld wrote: »

Thanks for the replies everyone. 25 minutes to go until the vet arrives.



Unfortunately due to health problems and depression I live with my mother and have lost contact with all my friends. My dog is my only friend.

Sorry to hear that. I would advise you to talk to your counsellor or doctor in the next few days. Now might be a good time to take up a new hobby or fitness regime. The worst thing you can do is sit in the house staring at where your friend used to live.

Take care.

freshpopcorn

Hi op,
Sorry to hear about your dog. You'll always have the memories tough and you'll have her bed/toys to remind you of her around the house.
One thing to remember you are doing the right thing for your dog. It drives me mad when people keep their dogs even tough they are suffering and in apt of pain.

Princess Peach

My best friend was put down a few months ago and I am also nearly crying now.

Take care of yourself, I sometimes felt a bit strange being so upset over a dog, and didn't want to tell work why I needed the Monday off after the weekend of it, but it's fine to feel sad and cry and take time to grieve.

Hope you have lots of photos and memories. You did the right thing and focus on all the happy times.

florawest

Hi ya, hope you are doing ok, have had many dogs over the years, all much loved and like the family, it is a tough decision but it saved your dog more pain and suffering, is there an animal charity anywhere near you, you could volunteer there and meet like minded people, in time you could offer a rescue animal a chance of happiness and help you out too, I know you don't want to think about that now, be gentle and kind to yourself.

Hi op, I just wanted to say how very very sorry I am. Like another poster mentioned, the great age she lived to is a testament to the wonderful life you gave her.

Noodles81

I'm very sorry for your loss. I dread the day I lose my darling dog. May you find solace in the loving memories ye shared over many a year.xx

Silverfish

I don't really have anything I can add, but I just wanted to say I am so sorry and I was thinking of you today, and what an awful day this must have been for you. This is such a sad thing, and I hope you're okay. Just know that if she was in pain, you're doing the best thing by her, even though its a huge loss for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know too well the pain of it, its heartbreaking, especially when they've been through so much with you and were by your side through the phases of your life.

But please take comfort from this fact - There are too many dogs out there who are abused & neglected, and not just physically but emotionally neglected - dogs who are never allowed in the house and are lonely etc.

At least you will have no regrets - your dog had a long life, but most importantly a good quality life, you loved your dog and its life was a happy one.

kylith

Hope you're holding up alright OP. We're always here if you need to talk.

Rubberchikken

we went through this in june 2014 when our little fella's heart could take no more. the sadness and awfulness of it is indescriable but we had to put him first and think about how life had gotten so difficult for him.

it's not something you approach easily and the pain will be there but eventually you remember the good times and the sadness lessens.

take care and thinking of you and your beloved dog.

Emme

OP, I hope you are OK today. It probably feels like the worst thing in the world right now but it will get better in time. Losing a much loved pet is exactly the same as losing a partner and in a way it's worse because you had to make the big decision.

Don't be on your own. Talk to a doctor or a counsellor in the next week or so.

leahyl

OP I know exactly what you are going through, we had to put our beloved Bichon Frise to sleep on 9th July and it was the saddest day of my life. The whole family was in bits and it's still raw, although we are slowly adjusting to life without him. People who are not into animals or don't have pets really don't understand I think, but it is exactly the same as losing a close family member. He was part of our lives for 13 and half years and him not being in the house anymore has left a huge hole.

Just take your time to grieve and remember all the good times you had with her!

Take care

tinkerbell

Oh OP. My heart breaks for you, I am so so sorry. Your beautiful dog will always remain in your heart. You've just lost a member of your family, take your time to grieve and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Remember all the good times you had together. And also remember that you did the best thing for her by helping her out in her time of need which was yesterday. She's in a happy place now, the last thing you would have wanted was for her to suffer.

Big huge hugs, OP. Hope you are ok, today will be a terribly lonely day for you but try to think of all the amazing years you had together.

LegacyUser

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Hi op,
Sorry to hear about your dog. You'll always have the memories tough and you'll have her bed/toys to remind you of her around the house.
One thing to remember you are doing the right thing for your dog. It drives me mad when people keep their dogs even tough they are suffering and in apt of pain.

I actually did this though. I probably should have put her down a year or two ago, but couldn't bear to. She was in pain from arthritis and was blind, and she only really ate if I put food in her mouth. People will think I'm crazy for saying this, but when my mum put another dog of our down in 2008, while I was at uni, I didn't know about it because it happened suddenly as he'd suddenly become ill. I was walking along the street and felt this incredible rush of excitement and suddenly the thought of that dog being taken for walks came into my head. I felt like the dog was thanking me for all the walks I'd taken him on and letting me know how much he'd enjoyed them. Later that night my mum phoned me and told me she'd had him put down right at the same time I'd had that feeling. It was like he was saying goodbye. Well, the dog I had put down yesterday, I've had no feelings like that, I didn't dream of her or anything. I'm worried she didn't come to me because she's angry with me for keeping her alive so long.

magicmushroom

endofmyworld wrote: »

I actually did this though. I probably should have put her down a year or two ago, but couldn't bear to. She was in pain from arthritis and was blind, and she only really ate if I put food in her mouth. People will think I'm crazy for saying this, but when my mum put another dog of our down in 2008, while I was at uni, I didn't know about it because it happened suddenly as he'd suddenly become ill. I was walking along the street and felt this incredible rush of excitement and suddenly the thought of that dog being taken for walks came into my head. I felt like the dog was thanking me for all the walks I'd taken him on and letting me know how much he'd enjoyed them. Later that night my mum phoned me and told me she'd had him put down right at the same time I'd had that feeling. It was like he was saying goodbye. Well, the dog I had put down yesterday, I've had no feelings like that, I didn't dream of her or anything. I'm worried she didn't come to me because she's angry with me for keeping her alive so long.

No, you didn't dream of her because you're beating yourself up over something you shouldn't be. Your mind is (wrongly) blocked with guilt; that's why she couldn't come to you.

You need to realise that even though you feel guilty for keeping her with you for longer than you feel you should have, that dog had a wonderful and amazing life filled with love and happiness because of you.

kylith

If you didn't feel that she came to you it's probably because she knew she didn't need to; you were there. The other dog visited you before moving on because you were away at the time.

Don't beat yourself up, you did the best for your dog that you could and she knows that. She'll probably visit you in your dreams in a little while to let you know how she's doing.

njs030

endofmyworld wrote: »

I actually did this though. I probably should have put her down a year or two ago, but couldn't bear to. She was in pain from arthritis and was blind, and she only really ate if I put food in her mouth. People will think I'm crazy for saying this, but when my mum put another dog of our down in 2008, while I was at uni, I didn't know about it because it happened suddenly as he'd suddenly become ill. I was walking along the street and felt this incredible rush of excitement and suddenly the thought of that dog being taken for walks came into my head. I felt like the dog was thanking me for all the walks I'd taken him on and letting me know how much he'd enjoyed them. Later that night my mum phoned me and told me she'd had him put down right at the same time I'd had that feeling. It was like he was saying goodbye. Well, the dog I had put down yesterday, I've had no feelings like that, I didn't dream of her or anything. I'm worried she didn't come to me because she's angry with me for keeping her alive so long.

I know the feeling you mean, your old dog came to say goodbye. The little one from yesterday didn't need to find you to say goodbye because she said it in person before she left.
You need to forgive yourself op and stop the negative thoughts, you did your best and your dog knew how much you loved her.

eviltwin

OP I am so so sorry you had to go through this. I've been though this with my husbands dog and we have two older dogs and this is something that is in the back of my mind a lot. Its the worst part of being a pet owner, having to say goodbye.

There is a really good cartoon about this that you should google when you feel a bit better. Its a dog's final journey from his point of view and while its very emotional its also very comforting. You're still in the very early stages of grief so please be kind to yourself and don't expect too much. Trust the process. Try and remember that you acted in the best interests of your dog, out of love and I hope in time the pain lessens and you can look back and remember all the joy she brought you.

As hard as it is I try and see the positive. I remember when we brought my husband's family dog to be put to sleep being in bits but I took comfort from the fact that he had been a friend to me for so long, some people just see animals as animals and never get to experience the joy and friendship that they bring. As hard as it was I am always grateful and thankful to be one of the people that see beyond the fur and paws.

Thinking of you and your girl xx

mojesius

Sorry for your loss OP. I had to go through the same thing last year with my dog of 16 years. I still miss her terribly and her crazy ways, but 16 years is a good innings. When I see a squirrel in the park, I always think of her, the other dogs ignore them but she'd smell them before she'd see them and go mental into hunting mode .

You will feel irrational feelings of guilt and uncertainty over the coming weeks about this brave step you have taken. Please remember that you made the right decision for your friend. It's a damn shame that they live such short lives, when all they spend their lives doing is giving us unconditional love. Thinking of you.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt that I was having her put down, but instead of the vet doing it, it was some random bloke. He injected her with a blue liquid, the same as the vet did, but instead of immediately going to sleep she was twitching and moving horribly. The bloke claimed she was dead but she kept moving and was obviously suffering, and I beat up the bloke until he admitted what he'd done. He said he'd sold the lethal injections to make money and so had injected my dog with some random cr@p instead, just to get the money I'd pay to have her put down. She was writhing around in torment and I had to put her out of her misery myself, but I didn't have anything suitable to do it with, so I had to shove mud up her nose until she suffocated. It was horrible.


Now everybody will think I'm an idiot for saying this, but I'm really worried about something I read in a magazine a while ago. There was a vet in America, and when people took their dogs to him to be put down, he pretended to put them down but was actually keeping them alive for years, using them for blood transfusions and organ donations. One family thought their dog had been put down four years ago but when the vet's premses was raided the dog was still alive and in a terrible state. I am worried about this happening to my dog. The vet said she'd be in cold storage until tomorrow, when she'd be sent for cremation. I don't know if I should ask to go and see her. I mean, she was put down at home and her heart stopped and her tongue went blue after a few minutes but I don't know if they have drugs that can do that temporarily.

Emme

OP, please talk to your GP or a counsellor immediately. I know exactly how you feel. When my dog was being put to sleep the vet couldn't find a vein for the injection and it was hell. He eventually got a vein but my dog who had always been very strong and determined didn't go to sleep but struggled instead. He had always been a fighter and fought to the end even though he had a fatal tumor that was causing him terrible suffering. Eventually the vet got him to sleep and I held him until the end. They asked me if they wanted the clinic to bury him and I said no, he was being buried at home. So they wrapped him in a blanket and I took him home. He is buried in the garden and we planted flowers on the grave.

Your friend is gone to a better place and you need to look after yourself now. Get some help.

njs030

Op I mean this kindly but do go and see someone, maybe some calming meds will help you get through the next few days.

No they don't have meds that can stop an animals heart for a while and then restart it plus there is no reason they would keep an elderly sick dog alive when vets put many young active dogs to sleep regularly.
If she stopped breathing and her heart stopped she is at peace running at the rainbow bridge. If you don't know that reference look it up and you might find comfort.

LegacyUser

But do you think I should go and ask to see her so I can be sure she really is gone? Today is my last chance. But then I don't know what the storage facilities are like, maybe its horrible in there and I won't want to see her like that. But if I don't I'll wonder if she's still alive. Or if they refuse to let me see her I'll wonder if they're hiding something.

eviltwin

endofmyworld wrote: »

But do you think I should go and ask to see her so I can be sure she really is gone? Today is my last chance. But then I don't know what the storage facilities are like, maybe its horrible in there and I won't want to see her like that. But if I don't I'll wonder if she's still alive. Or if they refuse to let me see her I'll wonder if they're hiding something.

No harm to ask to put your mind at ease, I'm sure the vet will understand. I think if you don't feel better in a few days you should see someone. You're bound to be all over the place at the moment.

njs030

endofmyworld wrote: »

But do you think I should go and ask to see her so I can be sure she really is gone? Today is my last chance. But then I don't know what the storage facilities are like, maybe its horrible in there and I won't want to see her like that. But if I don't I'll wonder if she's still alive. Or if they refuse to let me see her I'll wonder if they're hiding something.

No I think that's a really bad idea. From what I've heard it's a horrible place and not the way you would like your final memory to be.

Op you seem fixated on this idea for some reason, you know she is gone you were there when her heart stopped and she stopped breathing.

LegacyUser

I once was in the same shoes and I know what a horrible time you must be going through. I've worked in several different veterinary clinics in the past and to be honest without sounding harsh, most places just have a massive freezer where they put the deceased animals. I don't think you want to have that as a last memory.

I still think about my beloved dog 3 years on and the feelings do change. I look back with joy that I got to spend many years with him instead of the pain I once had. Don't get me wrong,I still think about him often and I wonder did I do the right thing but you have to believe in your decision.

kylith

You don't want your last memory of your dog to be of what the storage in the vet's is like, believe me. It will not be good to see her like that, even if they'd let you in there, which they probably wouldn't. The vet also will not bring her out to reception.

You are obsessing over ONE incident that happened thousands of miles away. You know your dog is gone but you are torturing yourself with this; vets do not have drugs that can kill a dog and bring it back. Nightmares are not uncommon in times of stress.

If there is someone you can talk to about your feelings to then please do, or even just hug your mum and cry. It's hard, I know. Why not see about volunteering at a shelter? You need to keep yourself busy and occupied or your mind can be your own worst enemy.

florawest

I hope you are doing ok as good as you can considering, I suppose like all losses, human and animals I have had more than my share, so maybe this might help a little, get out your pen and paper, start writing letters to whoever you want about your loss, fears and troubles, then burn each letter, you could write a diary on your memories of your dog and keep it, try and get some fresh air, could you go for a short walk few times a day with your mum, talk to her and tell her how you feel about her too, mum's are wonderful, I miss mine so much four years later as do the children, we have a Labrador who is eight now and a cat who is about 11, had a stray cat for few months( but gpt v attached to him), got killed on the road recently was v upset over him, rem to keep posting here if it helps in any small way, be kind to yourself and let your family help

mark_jmc

Hope you are doing ok op , gone through this twice in the last few years, I feel your pain. We had our Pekingese gismo for 15 years- felt like a lifetime. When I think of him now it always brings a smile to my face. Like you I had him through a lot of the major events in my life good & bad and I'm thankful for it, also like you I suffer from depression. It will get easier with time just concentrate on all the good times you had over the years. If and When you are ready think about another dog- not as a replacement because nothing could replace but as another companion to share a different part of your like with. You are obviously someone who loved and valued your dog so it would be nice for another dog to have that love and attention in the future.
Take care
Mark

thegreatgonzo

endofmyworld wrote: »

.

I am worried about this happening to my dog. The vet said she'd be in cold storage until tomorrow, when she'd be sent for cremation. I don't know if I should ask to go and see her. I mean, she was put down at home and her heart stopped and her tongue went blue after a few minutes but I don't know if they have drugs that can do that temporarily.

I'm really sorry for you loss OP. I'm a vet nurse and you can take it from me that does not happen in this country. Also there is no drug that we use that can simulate the effects of death temporarily.

You took great care of your dog, and your dog felt safe and loved her whole life with you. You did the kindest thing by taking away her suffering at the end. Now it's time to take care of yourself

Monife

OP, I really feel for you. We (my mum and I) were in the same position 5 years ago and our dog was 16 too. It is a really traumatic time and I even still have tears now reading your story and thinking of our own experience but it will get easier.

Chloe (our dog) was like my sister (I'm an only child). They really become part of your life and it feels as if you have lost a really close family member. Please know that you did the right thing, a very selfless thing, because you couldn't have let her pain go on any longer.

My mum got her cremated and got a lovely wooden box with her photo in the lid and kept some of her ashes and spread the rest of them on the beach where she loved to go for walks, might be an idea to get a little bit of closure.