Moving on together or apart?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I broke up with my ex 8 weeks ago. Trouble is, I love her like mad. We went out for 3 years on/off. There was even people in between. By both of us. Not while we were together, that I know of anyway.

95% of the time things were perfect but that other 5% was a nightmare. I've never felt like I did with her, with anyone else. There was never as much chemistry, love, passion with anyone else. We both had long term relationships before we met each other. I had two pretty serious relationships before that I ended also. The thing is, I got over those other girls pretty quickly, more or less straight away. I guess I had fallen out of love with them.

My last ex, girl I just broke up with is 37, I am 33. There was always pressure on us, from her, to settle down quickly and have kids. I know where she was coming from but I had doubts because of the way we argued. I didn't want to bring kids in to our relationship while we were so volatile. I thought things would settle between us the longer we were together. She has a lot of trust issues and I don't know if she ever trusted me completely. It led to a lot of our arguments. She also didn't think I was committed to her. She was the only girl I've ever been with that I thought about having a future with though.

I miss her so much. I keep waking up every day hoping to just forget about her but it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. I have zero interest in anyone else. I don't even know what I am asking for from everyone. A part of me wants to go and try to get her back but another part of me is reluctant. I think/thought that we could have a great future together but then again nothing changed before when we got back together.

Anyway, Id appreciate your advice...

CaraMay

But you weren't committed to her? I think relationships that keep breaking up and making up rarely work out. Clearly there are huge compatibility or communication issues involved which the couple can't sort. I know an older couple who have been on / off about 10 times. It's pathetic tbh as it's just constant drama.

Time to move on. If it was going to work it wouldn't be on and off to this level.

Keane2baMused

So let me get this straight.

You want a relationship that's perfect 100% of the time???? 95% seems pretty close to perfect to me!

Trust issues can be worked on. Commitment worries and fears also.

All relationships have drama and fights and issues. Some more than others. If your love is that deep and strong and things are that good 95% of the time it seems a bit ridiculous to let that go. Thats pretty rare to have all that you do realise that?

Don't mess about, if you love her and she loves you and wants to work it out give it your best shot.

LegacyUser

Keane2baMused wrote: »

So let me get this straight.

You want a relationship that's perfect 100% of the time???? 95% seems pretty close to perfect to me!

Trust issues can be worked on. Commitment worries and fears also.

All relationships have drama and fights and issues. Some more than others. If your love is that deep and strong and things are that good 95% of the time it seems a bit ridiculous to let that go. Thats pretty rare to have all that you do realise that?

Don't mess about, if you love her and she loves you and wants to work it out give it your best shot.

Things would be fine for a couple of weeks and then bam a big row over something silly. It then escalates and the past is brought up and thrown at each other. A week of tension and then we make up. Things are great then for another 3-4 weeks...
I do realise that it is hard to find someone to connect with but it's hard work with my ex..