Advice for Problematic Neighbour

AilishNi

I'm not sure if this is the right forum or not.

We've had problems with our neighbour across the street for a few years. Basically, they have two young children around 6/7 and they play with their ball on the road, now we live in a cul de sac with a very small road (one car width). The children would be kicking the ball around and it always ends up in our driveway - hitting the car, the windows, the door etc..

The first time it happend, I asked them not to kick the ball into the drive to which, they just stared at me. So, the next time I told their mother to ask them not to do it to which she replied, what are you going to do about it?. This went on for a few months esp during the summer and it was really doing my head in.

It got to the point where I just wanted to thump their mother as she had this my children can do whatever they want attitude and nobody will stop them. Eventually they stopped kicking the ball in. For a few months things were good. Then the neighbour got a terrier and one night I was getting out of my car and I heard this growling, next thing I know the dog starts going for me at my ankle, I kicked it away and she came running out screaming at me for kicking her dog! There were a few choice words exchanged and I threatened her with the dog wardens as this was not the first time the dog had gone for someone on the road. I reported the dog and I never saw it out again.

Fast forward to June this year and I'm coming home to find the neighbour on the street telling people that my father threatened her children. So, I went in and asked what was going on and my dad said that the ball came in and hit the front door, so he went out and told them they weren't getting the ball back and to tell their father. So, I checked our CCTV (we had to get this due to a number of breakins on the road) it showed the ball banging against the door and their father coming onto our drive and start throwing shapes at my dad trying to get the ball off him to which my dad pushed him and told him to f**k off.

The next morning their father comes over and tells us that he is informing the gardaí that my dad threatened his children and that he will not have his kids be intimidated or afraid of us. I all but laughed in his face. I told him he didn't have a leg to stand on considering he was on CCTV trespassing on our property.

So now they have started parking their car directly across from our drive so I can't get in with my car. I have knocked on their door on numerous occasions and asked them to move their car but they never answer. So long story short - what can I do? It is just one thing after another with them!

Atlantic Dawn

Move, seriously this will go on for years and there's nothing you can do.

Gumbo

Park your car blocking them.

AilishNi

kceire wrote: »

Park your car blocking them.

I would, but I'd be blocking the road then..

Wabbit Ears

So I'm clear.

Children playing ball on your street and you kick up about it and confront the family.

You kick a small dog.

Your father tells kids to Fcuk off when they come to get their ball back.

You live in a narrow street so, if kids play ball, it sometimes goes into your drive.

And THEY are the problem neighbours??????

AilishNi

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

So I'm clear.

Children playing ball on your street and you kick up about it and confront the family.

You kick a small dog.

Your father tells kids to Fcuk off when they come to get their ball back.

You live in a narrow street so, if kids play ball, it sometimes goes into your drive.

And THEY are the problem neighbours??????

I didn't "kick up" about it. I have no problem with their children playing on the street. I have a problem with them kicking their ball against my car and house. You are completely right, I should have let their dog attack me. My father did not tell their children to "fcuk off" either. You should try reading before replying with inaccurate information. <snip>

crasy dash

AilishNi wrote: »

I didn't "kick up" about it. I have no problem with their children playing on the street. I have a problem with them kicking their ball against my car and house. You are completely right, I should have let their dog attack me. My father did not tell their children to "fcuk off" either. You should try reading before replying with inaccurate information. <snip>

Back to your problem some people are just unreal I'm stuck beside a grumpy neighbour and there's nothing I can do your probably in the same situation unfortunately.

Wabbit Ears

AilishNi wrote: »

I didn't "kick up" about it. I have no problem with their children playing on the street. I have a problem with them kicking their ball against my car and house. You are completely right, I should have let their dog attack me. My father did not tell their children to "fcuk off" either. You should try reading before replying with inaccurate information. <mod snip>

See, it's that attitude which is why your neighbours kids have decided to target you.

AilishNi

crasy dash wrote: »

Back to your problem some people are just unreal I'm stuck beside a grumpy neighbour and there's nothing I can do your probably in the same situation unfortunately.

When their kids first started kicking the ball onto our drive, I tried to be diplomatic about it and all I got was the "nobody tells my children what to do" attitude. She seems to be under the impression that they can use my drive as an extension of the road to play on.

I'm sure most people wouldn't like it if their neighbour's kid's were kicking their ball against their car and door all the time. Anytime the ball hits the house, they don't come in to get it, they wait for it to bounce back, so I've taken their ball on a few occasions but they just get a new one and keep hitting it off the house again.

My next door neighbour has run them a few times and it's funny because their mother never goes out to wail at my neighbour for telling them off!

Severard

How many other neighbours live on your road that have had problems with them? Or is it just yourselves?

Do you know if they own the house themselves or are they renting it or is it a council house?

Although kids do have a right to play on the road, they don't have the right to kick a ball that it will likely hit someone else's property. Since you asked them to careful and asked the mother to encourage them to be so as well. This part I would say is in your favour as you have been reasonable with them on it.

As for the dog, well it's simple, they should have it under control at all times, even though it's a small breed of dog, being bitten by a terrier is no casual thing and as for you kicking it away, you weren't in the wrong for ensuring that it wouldn't bite you.

At this stage your family should think about contacting the Gardai since they are not co-operating and that you want to prevent this from escalating even more. What will likely happen is the Guards will tell them to ensure that their kids are not causing trouble with their football and if need be to go somewhere else to play such as a public park, (if one is nearby). If one of you gets bitten by the dog it will be your neighbours fault so the onus is on them to prevent it. And as for the parking in front of your driveway, I'm not quite sure what can be done there but if it's obvious that they are parking there just out of spite, the Gardai should insist that they don't do it just so as to solve this issue.

Some neighbours can be bloody prats, hopefully it gets sorted for you.

You have my sympathy, I also have some 'choice' neighbors.
If they are blocking your car I would have a word with the Guards. Not sure what can be done but at least sound them out. Its absolutely infuriating that you cannot live peacefully with these nuisances.

AilishNi

Severard wrote: »

How many other neighbours live on your road that have had problems with them? Or is it just yourselves?

Do you know if they own the house themselves or are they renting it or is it a council house?

Although kids do have a right to play on the road, they don't have the right to kick a ball that it will likely hit someone else's property. Since you asked them to careful and asked the mother to encourage them to be so as well. This part I would say is in your favour as you have been reasonable with them on it.

As for the dog, well it's simple, they should have it under control at all times, even though it's a small breed of dog, being bitten by a terrier is no casual thing and as for you kicking it away, you weren't in the wrong for ensuring that it wouldn't bite you.

At this stage your family should think about contacting the Gardai since they are not co-operating and that you want to prevent this from escalating even more. What will likely happen is the Guards will tell them to ensure that their kids are not causing trouble with their football and if need be to go somewhere else to play such as a public park, (if one is nearby). If one of you gets bitten by the dog it will be your neighbours fault so the onus is on them to prevent it. And as for the parking in front of your driveway, I'm not quite sure what can be done there but if it's obvious that they are parking there just out of spite, the Gardai should insist that they don't do it just so as to solve this issue.

Some neighbours can be bloody prats, hopefully it gets sorted for you.

There have been a few incidences with other neighbours just down the road from us. They have a habit of running out onto the road behind cars that are reversing. I'm afraid that one day they will run out and I won't see them!

There was an incident with the dog before it attacked me, it went for one of the grandkids down the road, luckily it never got the chance to bite her as her grandfather got to her in time and he was very close to getting into a fight with them over the dog. They kept saying it wasn't their fault as their kids let the dog out.

The guards came down and asked if they wanted to bring it any further, but the neighbour came down to apologise to them and it went no further.

Her children don't kick the ball into any one else's front except ours as I have a block of apartments next to me with no drives.

She's lovely to everyone except me and I firmly belelive it's because I had the audacity to ask her to stop her kids from kicking their ball against my house. Because before then she'd wave whenever she saw me. Now I'm the target. :S

I wasn't aware that the gaurds could actually do anything like that. She has always been fairly confident that I could do nothing.

QuinDixie

The most important thing OP, stand your ground. Do not give an inch or these neighbours will see weakness and will up their bullying and intimidation. If they do not back off, Show them you are not for turning and contact the guards,council,welfare, anyone and everyone.
Get into your head that you are protecting your home and your family.
Never invite confrontation, but when it comes uninvited never fear it.

saabsaab

As far as I am aware blocking access to a driveway is an offence. Contact the guards or the local authority.

Balmed Out

Is it possible to install a gate?
Ive lived where kids constantly hit a ball in to my drive but to be honest id never have let it bother me, their just playing. As for the car parking thats ridiculous get onto the guards take pictures etc.

Teyla Emmagan

She sounds like an absolute <snip> OP. I had a neighbour just like this once. She let her <snip> kids bully the woman beside me until she moved out - same thing, ball banging against the front door all day and night, then her car being scratched and her plants being pulled up. It was deliberate harassment but again "nobody tells my kids what to do", she encouraged them and then went for the "sure they're only children" defense. The neighbour gave up a council house and went renting to get out of here.

The gate is not a bad idea, keep them off your property.

Blocking access to your driveway though is 100% illegal. Take photos, call the guards, the guards will take ages to come so in the meantime call the clampers and they will tow the car. The neighbour will cop on pretty quick.

AilishNi

Teyla Emmagan wrote:

She sounds like an absolute OP. I had a neighbour just like this once. She let her kids bully the woman beside me until she moved out - same thing, ball banging against the front door all day and night, then her car being scratched and her plants being pulled up. It was deliberate harassment but again "nobody tells my kids what to do", she encouraged them and then went for the "sure they're only children" defense. The neighbour gave up a council house and went renting to get out of here.

Teyla Emmagan wrote:

Blocking access to your driveway though is 100% illegal. Take photos, call the guards, the guards will take ages to come so in the meantime call the clampers and they will tow the car. The neighbour will cop on pretty quick.

Teyla Emmagan wrote:

The gate is not a bad idea, keep them off your property.

That's horrible. You shouldn't have to deal with that in your own home.

After the incident with the ball hitting the door, the wife was out telling all in sundry that her children were frightened of us and that her children should be allowed play wherever they want as they're "only kids".

They will grow up thinking that they can do whatever to whomever they want and there won't be consequences :S

I came in about an hour ago to find one of their friend's cars blocking my drive again. I knocked and I told them that if they didn't move their car, I'd have no choice but to call the Guards.

She said there was no need to over react and promptly moved the car.

I honestly didn't think the Guards could do anything about that. I feel like I have some control of the situation now.

Thanks for the advice.

hdowney

I feel for you OP. I have a next door neighbour who took a dislike to us for no reason other than I believe the way he was raised (dragged up unlovingly) and his little shīt itis, I'm the dog's gonads attitude. He has thrown rocks at our dog. Threatened to kill her for barking (she barks at him cos he has always tormented her so she hated him) put nails in my car tyres and a firework through my letterbox amongst other things.

toofiddie

its a tough one.. i think you def should mention the blocking of your drive with her car to the gardai.. as for kicking the ball.. i wouldn't give the ball back if it landed on my property.. that won't be long stopping them..

AilishNi

toofiddie wrote: »

its a tough one.. i think you def should mention the blocking of your drive with her car to the gardai.. as for kicking the ball.. i wouldn't give the ball back if it landed on my property.. that won't be long stopping them..

That's what I started doing after it happened 2/3 times and at first she never came over to get the ball and they weren't back with a new one for a while and then it'd happen again and I'd take it again, until the time when their dad started throwing shapes at us for not giving it back. That's when the ball stopped coming in since June and the car blocking our drive started.

I will definitely be contacting them if it happens again. The last thing I want is the police involved over this. It has been made into something its not and everyone has suffered because of it.

AilishNi

hdowney wrote: »

I feel for you OP. I have a next door neighbour who took a dislike to us for no reason other than I believe the way he was raised (dragged up unlovingly) and his little shīt itis, I'm the dog's gonads attitude. He has thrown rocks at our dog. Threatened to kill her for barking (she barks at him cos he has always tormented her so she hated him) put nails in my car tyres and a firework through my letterbox amongst other things.

Jesus, that's rough :eek:

We used to have someone next to us like that. They thought they could do whatever they wanted (parties, drugs, threatening other neighbours) etc.. we all complained to the council about it and nothing was ever done, until she set fire to her shed out the back and almost burnt down the whole row of houses/apartments with it.

After that fiasco it took about a year for them to kick her out. She used to throw her butts into the garden and scream at our dog to stop barking, even though her own was going full tilt.

the_syco

AilishNi wrote: »

She has always been fairly confident that I could do nothing.

I'll reword that; she has always been fairly confident that you do nothing, and you don't. A sweet apology, and no trouble from the Garda.

AilishNi wrote: »

The last thing I want is the police involved over this.

See above. The Gardai will have a list of things you did wrong, but in their eyes, there is nothing she has done wrong against you.

Inform them each time she blocks your driveway, and any other crap.

Otherwise it'll just be one or two little things, as opposed continued harassment as well as one or two other things.

sobeitamen

the_syco wrote: »

I'll reword that; she has always been fairly confident that you do nothing, and you don't. A sweet apology, and no trouble from the Garda.


See above. The Gardai will have a list of things you did wrong, but in their eyes, there is nothing she has done wrong against you.

Inform them each time she blocks your driveway, and any other crap.

Otherwise it'll just be one or two little things, as opposed continued harassment as well as one or two other things.

op involve the gardai every time. they will get fed up pf them not you.. been there done that and the harrassment ended. doing nothing gives the wrong signals that you are an easy target

Tompatrick

get the Gardai involved immediately to nip this in the bud. <mod snip>