Advice? Help?

Dav90502

(wasn't sure were to post this so sorry if its the wrong forum)
I could you some advice.
I'm a 22 year old guy and I'm not happy a lot of the time. I don't like the way I look as I do not at least have a flat stomach and I always cover up even in warm weather. I'm also not 100% happy with my college course (going into 3rd year). I spend alot of time watching tv and do have friends but don't have very very close friends that I'd see and go out with alot. I've never been outside Ireland or stayed away from home. I'm also having trouble finding a part time job. I sometimes am happy and have fun but there are alot of times that I just feel sad or depressed and think there is noting to look forward to. A life of struggling to earn money. I can be very quite which can make it difficult to make really close friends. I often think I should have had a job by now, a driving license and have gone abroad with friends and get sad/depressed about it.
When people ask how am I or how am I getting on (family and friends that I wouldn't see or talk to all the time) I always say fine or good even when its not true.
I know this is worded terribly but I wasn't really sure how to write it down or explain it.
I don't know what to do? Am I depressed?

FanadMan

Maybe post in Personal Issues...........

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127

Samaris

I'd be wary about saying anything here, as, for a start, the forums don't go in for medical diagnoses (and they're not allowed! ). From someone who's been dealing with depression (anxious depression, which is a barrel of monkey fun at times!), I would say be careful about thinking too much about depression. One can trap oneself into it.

From the sounds of it, I would hazard very loosely that you're anxious rather than -necessarily- depressed. You are away from home then? Can you talk to either of your parents about how you feel? Or siblings, if you have any? Sometimes even in families, people don't always talk about these things and you might find that one of them has fought something like this in the past.

I'm going to talk about what helped me, at least. It's not a perfect solution though.

Hobby. Something active for preference. If you're in uni, that gives you a head start - what clubs or societies does it have? I took up roller derby, and while I'm rubbish at it, I had a blast with it Not only will it help you with your body confidence, but it'll also give you exposure to another social scene and the whole endorphins etc. of exercise!

As regards not being happy with the college course - why did you go into it? Was there something you really wanted to do with it? It may be possible to move sideways into another course if you think you have definitely made a mistake. But it's also possible to move around a bit after you finish, going into graduate jobs.

At 22 and in uni, nah, you're alright not having held down a full-time job. Your job is uni at the moment! And it will open up future possibilities for you. I also suggest looking into summer jobs in your field; a lot of companies (depending on what course you're doing) will take in interns for the summer before final year (or the summer after). You might find something that suits - and believe me, the experience will stand you in excellent stead when you get out of uni!

Best of luck to you, and feel free to PM me if you feel the need to! I'm generally about!


Edit: Herp derp, and the obvious! There's usually a college counseller. It's worth talking to them, and also perhaps to a guidance counseller if you're worried as regards career from your current course..

pkvader

The good thing is your only a young man,and a lot of the stuff bothering you can be rectified.Your aren't happy with the way you look,try and take up some physical activitys,buy some new clothes,may be a different hair cut,grow a beard or go for a clean shaven look etc.

Fran1985

Try a fitness class. A beginners one. Not only will the activity help with your body shape, but exercise is great for clearing the head. Also if ya get a good class ya might get into a social scene. I did that and it helped me a lot. Physically and mentally!!!
Still at college?? Go on a J1 next summer. Plan that now. That'll also give ya an incentive to look harder for a job. Theres lots a lad of your age can still do. I bought a house at that age, whatever you do dont try that. Dont worry about jobs and earning big money. You dont want to look back when youre 30 thinking you shouldve went travelling then etc. now is the time. Sure im in my 30s and have decided the career ladder i was working my way up was the wrong one all along. Back to the start now. So long as ya've not got kids the world is your oyster.

The_Valeyard

FanadMan wrote: »

Maybe post in Personal Issues...........

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127

Best idea, personnel issues could help here.

Sounds like almost exactly the post I would have written at that age - with little to no differences - perhaps even worse as even if I had no actual suicidal thoughts of ending my own life - I have recollections of going to bed on some nights almost willing nature to do it for me and not let me wake up in the morning.

And since I am much much better with my life now - if it is of any consolation to the OP then I am at least an example that things get better.

Hermy

Hi Dav,

Just a couple of thoughts...

Firstly, your post is very well worded - no swearing, no 'like speak' and good grammar - you're obviously well able to express yourself and things like that matter more than a flat stomach.

So you haven't travelled or left home yet - that's no harm - you're 22 so there's loads of time to do that.
And everyone is having a tough time at the moment finding work so be patient.

And I know what you mean about this life apparently being an endless task of trying to earn money to keep the wolf from the door but don't let that get you down - there really is more to life.

As has been said above, maybe there's a college counsellor you can talk to about all of this, but I'd also consider talking to your GP.

Best of luck

Dav90502

Dav90502 wrote: »

Am I depressed?

No one here can answer that question.

I'd say talk to a GP. Who can decide if you should speak to a Counsellor, Psychiatrist or Psychologist.

And for God's Sake, avoid anyone who holds themselves out as a life coach. It usually means no qualifications beyond neck. I have seen them leave people full of self doubt and anxiety and in a far worse state.