Really fed up...need some opinions/support!

LegacyUser

Hi, going anon for this. Just need to vent and get some advice! Am in my late 20s, long time sufferer of depression and anxiety but have turned my life around over the last 2 years.....got a job, lost loads of weight, started driving, socialising again etc

V happy with all that but am stuck in a job i hate atm. Ive been there for 2 years and contract is up shortly(hooray!) It has done wonders for my confidence in yr1 but this year has been unbearable. Its an intern type job and im being forced to start a course(even though im leaving?!!) Ive been job hunting for months now and had planned to have moved on by now. So frustrated!!

I have qualifications from uni but not a huge amount of work experience for age but not too bad either. Im highly motivated, friendly and ambitious but cannot deal with too much stress/responsibility. Ive had a couple of job offers with decent pay but had to decline as the conditions were terrible.

Im now looking for better jobs and its taking forever! Ive a holiday booked for a week shortly and not sure i can get the time off now despite asking ages ago!

I know itll all be over soon but i feel like im being pulled down into a swamp there and gasping for air. I cannot let my mental health suffer. I tend to avoid conflict and dont want a bad reference but i may have to leave earlier if it gets too much.

Sorry for the long post! Opinions welcome. Thanks for reading!

Reddress

Jimmy Bottlehead

All you can do is hang in there knowing you'll be gone ASAP.
Feeling that trapped in a job is awful.

You mentioned other jobs - do you know for sure they'd be as bad as or worse than your current job for stress?

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply Jimmy!

Things aren't that bad really, its just our area supervisor who is creating problems mostly, there is no such thing as a discussion with her....she just shuts everyone down, spins off inaccurate truths and often changes her mind or "forgets" things. I'll have to speak to my manager about it. I hate conflict but ill have to stand up for myself. Ill have to ring in sick if my hols are taken away 😡

Its just taking ages for suitable
jobs to come up and im losing patience fast! The jobs i got offered are for only 9 months of the year with no holidays, sick pay etc so not ideal for a worrier like me!

Reddress

Jimmy Bottlehead

reddressanon wrote: »

Thanks for your reply Jimmy!

Things aren't that bad really, its just our area supervisor who is creating problems mostly, there is no such thing as a discussion with her....she just shuts everyone down, spins off inaccurate truths and often changes her mind or "forgets" things. I'll have to speak to my manager about it. I hate conflict but ill have to stand up for myself. Ill have to ring in sick if my hols are taken away 😡

Its just taking ages for suitable
jobs to come up and im losing patience fast! The jobs i got offered are for only 9 months of the year with no holidays, sick pay etc so not ideal for a worrier like me!

Reddress

Learning to stand up for yourself is difficult but it's a very necessary life skill and even if it causes anxiety initially, it gets easier over time. And will likely result in less anxiety as a result.

As for suitable jobs, you're not alone. A lot of people are looking for jobs but look on the bright side; being offered jobs at all points to you being a desirable employee. So breathe, use this job for every morsel of experience and value it has, and move on as soon as a position is offered that appeals.

LegacyUser

Well....I had a talk with manager discussing the situation and how I felt, asking her advice. That went grand.
Had meeting with supervisor today .....Sup had spoken with manager so was waiting for me.

I was literally obliterated.
I am gobsmacked at the nasty things she said!!
If I had done anything to deserve any of it I'd nearly understand but no.
She had done her homework on what to say and is used to manipulating people.
Can,t go in to details as I'm terrified of my post being spotted.
I tried to assert myself and stick up for myself and got squashed like an ant instead.
Throughout meeting I was laughed at, disrespected, told I was wasting her time etc.
She completely twisted everything to make me look bad.
She has even found a loophole to take away my holidays !!!

I spend the hour trying desperately to fight the tears and ended up crying at the end, disgusted she got to witness!!
Of course she was most sympathetic then and quickly changed her tune...because she,s there for me and on my side(can you believe that crap)

I had a panic attack after and could just about drive the car to my parents.

I am now trapped, feeling nauteous, weak and anxious after. There,s nothing left to do but suffer in silence or leave on a bad note.

Red dress

Ursus Horribilis

Is there anyone in there who'll give you a good reference? Sounds like an awful place.

To be honest, if you're being offered other jobs you should just take one and get the hell out of where you are now. You can always keep job hunting and find something better.

Rubberchikken

god she's some manager:( sorry you have to deal with that stuff.but turn it to your advantage. don't let it take away your enthuisasm (SP) for work or let it get you down. take from it that some people are like that and that you will, over time, find the strength and resources needed to confront this behaviour in a positive way.

keep job hunting. and the best of luck

LegacyUser

Thanks so much guys! I know itll all be over soon but i just feel so ill and disrespected. After all ive done for the place.

I have completely transformed my life and am strong enough to see the situation for what it is. She knows nothing about me. I still feel nauteous, weak and anxious though. Im shaking as i type this.

Ill have to work an extra hour a day for 3 weeks to earn my holiday now. which im entitled to anyway. Theres no point in arguing anymore. Im going to keep civil and polite and try use this to better myself again somehow. I am a decent, kind heathearted person

I cant believe someone would be so nasty as to laugh at my career plans for future. I have more qualifications than this person and more potential in my little finger.

One day at a time

Reddress

Ursus Horribilis

I'm sorry this has gone so wrong for you but I'm also a bit puzzled. Why did you put your heart on a plate for this woman? You knew she was a nasty piece of work yet you appear to have told her personal things that were none of her business. You mentioned her laughing at your future career plans and I get the impression you told her other things too.

You're going to have to learn how to toughen up and stand up for yourself. Working with bullies is a nightmare but I wonder are you a bit soft anyway? You've also mentioned a few times the you've done so much for the place. You're learning a bitter lesson here. In many workplaces you'll get no thanks for all the extra things you do.

SATSUMA

Leave! I was in a similar situation and I just walked out! You would be surprised what opportunities are out there when you HAVE to find a job. The alternative will affect your health, you did what you could you cant control them but you can control your own response. It's scary to leave but you cannot stay there. There are no medals for staying in an intolerable work place I wish I had known that 10 years ago.