Adult Children

newman10

Hi
Just looking for an opinion before I go to a Solicitor.

My marriage is in the process of breaking up and due to many circumstances atm, I am unable/unwilling to leave the Family home.
My problem is that i have an Adult child who is refusing to vacate the room I wish to move into. As she is now 23, does she have any rights or am I within my rights to insist that she moves

Thanks in advance

Newman

athtrasna

It's your house, you decide who lives there and where in the house. If they don't like it, tell them to move out.

newman10

athtrasna wrote: »

It's your house, you decide who loves there and where in the house. If they don't like it, tell them to move out.

Died a while back

Greenmachine

Does your spouse currently reside in the house also? Are you legally separated from your spouse?

the world wonders

newman10 wrote: »

My problem is that i have an Adult child who is refusing to vacate the room I wish to move into. As she is now 23, does she have any rights or am I within my rights to insist that she moves

Where do you expect her to go? The sofa? If so why don't you just sleep on the sofa yourself? It may be uncomfortable but it's also going to be uncomfortable living with your daughter after you've kicked her out of her bedroom.

Oryx

Are there other children involved?

On a purely personal note, quite apart from the legal aspect, kicking this girl out may do irreparable damage to your relationship with her.

GerardKeating

newman10 wrote: »

Hi
Just looking for an opinion before I go to a Solicitor.

My marriage is in the process of breaking up and due to many circumstances atm, I am unable/unwilling to leave the Family home.
My problem is that i have an Adult child who is refusing to vacate the room I wish to move into. As she is now 23, does she have any rights or am I within my rights to insist that she moves

Thanks in advance

Newman

Moves to another/different bedroom in the house, or moves out?

CarrickMcJoe

So, because you are having problems, you want to throw your daughter out. It won.t end well. Don't get her involved.

colourinkjet2

Sorry to hear about this terrible situation.

Remember though, what is legal is not always what is right.
Something like this is the sort of thing that could really finish off a relationship.

January

So your relationship with your partner has ended and now you want your relationship with your daughter to be irreparable also?

Good luck.

PucaMama

newman10 wrote:

As she is now 23, does she have any rights or am I within my rights to insist that she moves

Your relationship problems should have little/no impact on your daughters life. Unless you want to push her away?

VisibleGorilla

Why do you have to move? Why doesn't your spouse move out?

If it was me I'd stay right where I was.

Frynge

Go on, tell us, I'm curious was Ashley Madison involved?

Peregrinus

Nobody has addressed the point that this is the "family home", and is quite possibly jointly owned by the OP and his/her spouse.

So the OP alone has no right to determine who can or cannot stay in the house; this is a decision which the OP and spouse must make together. Which, depending on the way the breakup is unfolding, may not be terribly realistic.

OP, unless you are the sole owner of the house, I don't think that you can unilaterally demand that your daughter leave the house, or even change her bedroom. Even if you are the sole owner, I think you should be slow to do this; apart from the personal considerations already mentioned - in the present circumstances you need to look after your relationships with other family members as best you can, and protect them from being injured by the fallout from your marriage breakdown any more than is unavoidable - it could also impact indirectly on the legal side of this. It could be used in the proceedings to present you as domineering, inflexible, selfish, careless of the needs and feelings of others, etc, etc. I'm not for a minute suggesting that you are any of these things, but you know how these matters can be spun.

FreudianSlippers

Frynge wrote: »

Go on, tell us, I'm curious was Ashley Madison involved?

This isn't the standard of post we expect at Legal Discussion - I'm sure there are various light-hearted fora where you can exchange in Ashley Madison "bants".

newman10

Frynge wrote: »

Go on, tell us, I'm curious was Ashley Madison involved?

No.. Would be much easier if it was

am i bovvered

the world wonders wrote: »

Where do you expect her to go? The sofa? If so why don't you just sleep on the sofa yourself? It may be uncomfortable but it's also going to be uncomfortable living with your daughter after you've kicked her out of her bedroom.

Personally I do not get this type of attitude, although I realise it is held by many parents and 'adult' children.
The OP's daughter is 23 years old, long overdue time she moved out into the world and started living, making mistakes and standing on their own two feet. Parents that do not actively push for this are being neglectful and selfish IMO

newman10

the world wonders wrote: »

Where do you expect her to go? The sofa? If so why don't you just sleep on the sofa yourself? It may be uncomfortable but it's also going to be uncomfortable living with your daughter after you've kicked her out of her bedroom.

Why sould I, I alone have paid the mortgage

newman10

January wrote: »

So your relationship with your partner has ended and now you want your relationship with your daughter to be irreparable also?

Good luck.

Didn't come here for relationship advice. Thought it was the Legal Forum. Adult daughter has a first from Trinity and has become accustomed to the nice life

newman10

Oryx wrote: »

Are there other children involved?

On a purely personal note, quite apart from the legal aspect, kicking this girl out may do irreparable damage to your relationship with her.

Not kicking her out, just asking her to move rooms.................

Stheno

newman10 wrote: »

Didn't come here for relationship advice. Thought it was the Legal Forum. Adult daughter has a first from Trinity and has become accustomed to the nice life

So you ent her to move out?

Marcusm

newman10 wrote: »

Not kicking her out, just asking her to move rooms.................

If it's just asking her to move rooms then I think one of you needs to compromise.

ZeroThreat

newman10 wrote: »

Didn't come here for relationship advice. Thought it was the Legal Forum. Adult daughter has a first from Trinity and has become accustomed to the nice life

In that case she should be able to command a high salary and rent easily anywhere in Dublin with her prestigious education.The majority of the population aren't lucky enough to have a 1.1 from Ireland's top 3rd level educational institute.

hullaballoo

ZeroThreat wrote: »

In that case she should be able to command a high salary and rent easily anywhere in Dublin with her prestigious education.The majority of the population aren't lucky enough to have a 1.1 from Ireland's top 3rd level educational institute.

I can't tell if this is tongue-in-cheek or what but what makes anyone think a 1st from Trinity grants you automatic money or employment entitlements?

How much use is a grade 1 degree in law? SFA is the answer. There are very few undergraduate degrees you can do that allow you to walk straight into a decently paid job.

Marcusm

hullaballoo wrote: »

I can't tell if this is tongue-in-cheek or what but what makes anyone think a 1st from Trinity grants you automatic money or employment entitlements?

How much use is a grade 1 degree in law? SFA is the answer. There are very few undergraduate degrees you can do that allow you to walk straight into a decently paid job.

Actually with a half decent personality, it would probably just about guarantee you a training contract in an accounting firm!

PucaMama

Why can't you use the other room?

MouseTail

PucaMama wrote: »

Why can't you use the other room?

That is what I can't understand. This isn't really a legal rights issue, the daughter is not a tenant, and there is no obligation to support adult children (bar an incapacity). However the daughter is a guest of at least one of the co-owners I assume, and that co-owner, the wife, is happy for the daughter to remain in her own room.
It sounds a very difficult living situation. I think a bit of mediation between the OP and his wife on moving forward from the marital breakdown be a better route than getting legal advice on whether he can compel his daughter to move into the box room.

ZeroThreat

Marcusm wrote: »

Actually with a half decent personality, it would probably just about guarantee you a training contract in an accounting firm!

Off topic I know, but why would someone study for a law degree instead of a business/finance one if they wanted to train as an accountant?

newman10

MouseTail wrote: »

That is what I can't understand. This isn't really a legal rights issue, the daughter is not a tenant, and there is no obligation to support adult children (bar an incapacity). However the daughter is a guest of at least one of the co-owners I assume, and that co-owner, the wife, is happy for the daughter to remain in her own room.
It sounds a very difficult living situation. I think a bit of mediation between the OP and his wife on moving forward from the marital breakdown be a better route than getting legal advice on whether he can compel his daughter to move into the box room.

Hi MouseTail

Thanks, This is the clarification I was looking for rather than opening up another issue

Peregrinus

ZeroThreat wrote: »

Off topic I know, but why would someone study for a law degree instead of a business/finance one if they wanted to train as an accountant?

They might not know, as a school-leaver, that they wish to train as an accountant. They might choose a law degree as a well-regarded degree which can open a lot of doors. Or they might just find the study of law interesting.

Graham

MouseTail wrote: »

This isn't really a legal rights issue, the daughter is not a tenant, and there is no obligation to support adult children (bar an incapacity). However the daughter is a guest of at least one of the co-owners I assume, and that co-owner, the wife, is happy for the daughter to remain in her own room.

On a purely legal basis, would a co-owner have any say at all over how the rooms within the house are utilised?

If that were the case, I'm sure there would be many more Court cases involving new partners being relegated to the box room after legal challenges from the ex-partner-co-owner.

P_1

Legal rights or wrongs aside, taking that course of action is highly likely to make the entire separation process more acrimonious than it currently is.

tayto lover

OP leave your daughter where she is and go to the spare room yourself.
Also try mediation with your wife and come to some living arrangement that suits both of you.
No point in making things worse even if you have a right to move your daughter.

eviltwin

From a legal point of view you'll probably be told you can demand your daughter leave the room or the house but you need to look at the emotional side of this too. Possibly with the stress of your relationship issues you might not be thinking long term and just want to sort out your current dilemma but don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Yes your daughter is old enough now to stand on her own two feet but I don't think your relationship breakdown should be the catalyst for it, it can't be easy for her either seeing this relationship end and I think for the sake of good family relations you should avoid making any demands and see if you can find an alternate solution. When things settle then definitely try and get her to spread her wings a bit.

December2012

I feel sorry for your daughter. Her parents marriage has broke down, and you want to make her life harder?



If you're thinking this way you should look at mediation and proper legal advice.

It may be legal, but that doesn't mean it's a good move for you.

Peregrinus

Graham wrote: »

On a purely legal basis, would a co-owner have any say at all over how the rooms within the house are utilised?

Co-owners of property have to agree about how the property is used and managed.

Assuming the OP and his wife are co-owners of the house, up to know they have obviously agreed that the daughter can occupy the room she does. If there is now to be a change, that will have to be agreed. If only one co-owner wants the change to happen, he (or she) can't force it.

So, if the OP and his wife jointly own the house, the OP does not have the right to require his daughter to change rooms. That is the question he has asked.

A separate question is whether, if he could compel her to move, it would be wise to do so. He hasn't asked for advice on that, and if anything has indicated that he doesn't want it. The point is academic anyway.

If co-owners of property can't agree, their dispute eventually ends up in court. The court is not going to get into the business of deciding the allocation of bedrooms in a family home; the likely outcome is that the court would order the sale of the property and the division of the proceeds between the co-owners.

However, where the dispute arises (as here) in the context of a marriage breakdown, then the court would probably be reluctant to hear a case about the use of the house separately from the wider issue of all the financial and property aspects of the marriage breakdown. So even if the OP did take this matter to court to try to get his way over the rooms (and I am not suggesting that he would do so in real life; I just raise the point to illustrate what would happen) the court would probably decline to deal with it separately, and insist that it be addressed in separation/divorce proceedings.

newman10

PucaMama wrote: »

Why can't you use the other room?

Why should I.

newman10

Peregrinus wrote: »

Co-owners of property have to agree about how the property is used and managed.

Assuming the OP and his wife are co-owners of the house, up to know they have obviously agreed that the daughter can occupy the room she does. If there is now to be a change, that will have to be agreed. If only one co-owner wants the change to happen, he (or she) can't force it.

So, if the OP and his wife jointly own the house, the OP does not have the right to require his daughter to change rooms. That is the question he has asked.

A separate question is whether, if he could compel her to move, it would be wise to do so. He hasn't asked for advice on that, and if anything has indicated that he doesn't want it. The point is academic anyway.

If co-owners of property can't agree, their dispute eventually ends up in court. The court is not going to get into the business of deciding the allocation of bedrooms in a family home; the likely outcome is that the court would order the sale of the property and the division of the proceeds between the co-owners.

However, where the dispute arises (as here) in the context of a marriage breakdown, then the court would probably be reluctant to hear a case about the use of the house separately from the wider issue of all the financial and property aspects of the marriage breakdown. So even if the OP did take this matter to court to try to get his way over the rooms (and I am not suggesting that he would do so in real life; I just raise the point to illustrate what would happen) the court would probably decline to deal with it separately, and insist that it be addressed in separation/divorce proceedings.

Thanks. This is what I am looking for.
Very disappointed to the tone of some of the comments and most definate that many of the posters do not know or understand the Law.
All I asked was a simple Legal question and my relationship with my Daughter becomes the discussion
Will not be back

PucaMama

newman10 wrote:

Why should I.

Because your daughter is not the one ending your relationship? She's also not the one causing trouble?

Acara

newman10 wrote: »

Thanks. This is what I am looking for.
Very disappointed to the tone of some of the comments and most definate that many of the posters do not know or understand the Law.
All I asked was a simple Legal question and my relationship with my Daughter becomes the discussion
Will not be back

I feel so sorry for your daughter to have a 5 year old for a father. U sound pathetic .

newman10

Acara wrote: »

I feel so sorry for your daughter to have a 5 year old for a father. U sound pathetic .

Not worth replying

FreudianSlippers

Stay civil.

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

^ best advice yet

professore

If it were me, if things got bad enough to warrant a breakup, that would be the last thing on my mind. I certainly wouldn't be getting my daughter to move out of her room. I'd move out and get on with my life.

Paully D

29th August:

newman10 wrote: »

Thanks. This is what I am looking for.
Very disappointed to the tone of some of the comments and most definate that many of the posters do not know or understand the Law.
All I asked was a simple Legal question and my relationship with my Daughter becomes the discussion
Will not be back

14th September:

newman10 wrote: »

Not worth replying

Ashbx

am i bovvered wrote: »

Personally I do not get this type of attitude, although I realise it is held by many parents and 'adult' children.
The OP's daughter is 23 years old, long overdue time she moved out into the world and started living, making mistakes and standing on their own two feet. Parents that do not actively push for this are being neglectful and selfish IMO

God, im glad your not my mother!

_davidsmith_

Unfortunately this guy is for want of a better word a moron. He is obviously in the middle of an unfortunate set of circumstances, but doesnt want advice, he wants vindication for being a d*ck and dumping his daughter out of her room. No amount of legal advice will make up for his selfish uncompromising attidude to his own flesh and blood. OP needs to man the hell up and get out of the house or get into the box room, its not his daughters fault the preverbial has hit the fan, dont take it out on her.

Ashbx

I cant believe this post! How old is this OP that you drag your daughter into your dramas?! Its frankly disgusting!

hullaballoo

Closed pending mod review.