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Wives diminishing sex drives

  • 25-08-2015 12:23pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,622 ✭✭✭


    So I sometimes look at the personal issues/ relationship issues forum and one of the most common threads to come up is "my sex life has disappeared" type threads set up by straight men. So I say wives in the title, but this applies to women in long term relationships too.

    It just seems to be a fact of life that after a few years in a relationship women's interest in sex drops dramatically. The proposed solutions are always about the man doing more - housework, compliments, dates, reviewing his wardrobe, exercising more, anything. But is there any point? It's such a common one way problem that it seems to be simply natural. The problem isn't that the husband isn't doing these things, it's that the wife just doesn't want to often any more.

    So one thing I'm wondering is - does this happen in lesbian relationships?

    And another thing I wondered about was probably something I read on one of the ashley madison threads. Maybe men should go looking elsewhere for nsa sex - with a hooker or a fwb. If the husbands sex drive is much higher than the woman's, maybe the solution isn't trying hopelessly to get hers up, maybe we need to accept that sex with someone else can be a good thing.

    One thing is for sure though. There are lots of unhappy men and it's an issue that they can't talk about. So one that no-one is doing anything about.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,949 ✭✭✭✭IvyTheTerrible


    You're looking at a skewed sample. People who are happy with their sex lives are not going to be posting on PI or Ashley Madison.
    Plenty of people are married and have happy fulfilling sex lives.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Exactly, you don't see people in the Talk To forums lauding the praises of UPC and Vodafone from the rooftops, but I'm sure these people exist.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Exactly, you don't see people in the Talk To forums lauding the praises of UPC and Vodafone from the rooftops, but I'm sure these people exist.

    Really???

    :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    whiskeyman wrote: »
    Really???

    :p

    I'd stake my reputation on it


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    A low stakes game then is it? :p

    But tongue out of cheek - I wonder why it is portrayed as one side having a diminishing sex drive - and I wonder how often the reality is that the other side has a diminishing sex appeal. Which - given how bad a species we are at self evaluation and appraisal - is not likely to come across in those PI forum threads the OP is basing the question on.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭arayess


    You're looking at a skewed sample. People who are happy with their sex lives are not going to be posting on PI or Ashley Madison.
    Plenty of people are married and have happy fulfilling sex lives.

    perhaps you are right or perhaps some people settle for what the have.

    as a man in his 30's I know many men who have happily turned into "old men".
    quite happy to do nothing but work and sit at home with the family with weekends spent in Ikea.
    to me they are dead inside and worse still they don't know it or they do and like it.

    oddly the common factor is they all discovered rugby late in life :pac:

    they're happy or claim to be but to me it's just they've acclimatised to their prison.

    my point is some people strive for change and others just except their lot or lose ambition (for want of a better word)

    as for the sex thing , I do agree with the OP to a large extent but I can accept it not all women.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,696 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    Islam may have it's faults but they have the wives thing nailed, I think 3 is a nice number if you've the energy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭arayess


    A low stakes game then is it? :p

    But tongue out of cheek - I wonder why it is portrayed as one side having a diminishing sex drive - and I wonder how often the reality is that the other side has a diminishing sex appeal. Which - given how bad a species we are at self evaluation and appraisal - is not likely to come across in those PI forum threads the OP is basing the question on.

    if partners were honest inside of being tired all the time then I would know to wash my knob a bit more .
    The ball is still in the court of the person who has lost interest.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,050 ✭✭✭nokia69


    I wonder why it is portrayed as one side having a diminishing sex drive

    because in many cases thats the main cause, of course too many people just can't admit that there might be any difference between men and women

    and I wonder how often the reality is that the other side has a diminishing sex appeal.

    I'm sure that plays a part


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 184 ✭✭Aimead


    I know a few people where it seems the man isn’t able to keep up the woman, so it probably cuts both ways (although I do seem to see more threads online where the man is the hungrier).

    A stressful unfulfilling job will kill your soul, so I suppose that it combined with running around after kids would also tank your sex life shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. If that’s the case then I’m not what solutions there are other than infidelity.


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  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    We can't allow a discussion based on the threads or advice given in Personal Issues.

    The forum is not searchable, and for good reason, so encouraging AH users - (and I know that's not your intention OP, but it's the reality) - to go there for a nose isn't a good idea.

    In addition, this thread will only serve to attract the usual gender war participants, and we've enough threads for them to get their knickers and y fronts in a twist over at the moment.

    Sorry OP.


This discussion has been closed.
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