Ashley madison problems also

subwaytovenus

So my oh email is there :-/
I asked him about it last night and he completely denied it getting quite angry and claiming someone hacked his email.
Dunno what to think now. I know his email could in theory be hacked but what are the chances? Plus his reaction was so defensive and angry.

RebelButtMunch

subwaytovenus wrote: »

So my oh email is there :-/
I asked him about it last night and he completely denied it getting quite angry and claiming someone hacked his email.
Dunno what to think now. I know his email could in theory be hacked but what are the chances? Plus his reaction was so defensive and angry.

I heard that they had no email verification so anything could be used. I'm not sure if that's true though. Anyone Know?

Penny Tration

Well, there are a few issues here, from my reading.

First things first - AM do not send a verification email, so a friend of your partner's could easily have used his email address for a laugh.

Do you trust him? If you trust him, why would you go searching to see if his email is on the site?

As for him getting angry and defensive - well, I'll be honest, if my boyfriend accused me of something I hadn't done, I wouldn't try to defend my case - not at first. I'd be absolutely furious that he snooped behind my back and proved that he didn't actually trust me. For me, it'd probably be the end of my relationship.

IF he joined it by himself, can you get past it? It seems, from what I've seen, that a lot of people joined out of pure nosiness, and didn't actually use the site. If that's the case, it may be something you can get past.

Ultimately, you need to talk to him. You obviously don't trust him very much because you went searching to see if he was on that site. That says a lot about your relationship.

You need to sit down and talk calmly. You need to accept your fault in snooping and showing a lack of trust, and he needs to be able to understand exactly why you're concerned.

subwaytovenus

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

Well, there are a few issues here, from my reading.

First things first - AM do not send a verification email, so a friend of your partner's could easily have used his email address for a laugh.

Do you trust him? If you trust him, why would you go searching to see if his email is on the site?

As for him getting angry and defensive - well, I'll be honest, if my boyfriend accused me of something I hadn't done, I wouldn't try to defend my case - not at first. I'd be absolutely furious that he snooped behind my back and proved that he didn't actually trust me. For me, it'd probably be the end of my relationship.

IF he joined it by himself, can you get past it? It seems, from what I've seen, that a lot of people joined out of pure nosiness, and didn't actually use the site. If that's the case, it may be something you can get past.

Ultimately, you need to talk to him. You obviously don't trust him very much because you went searching to see if he was on that site. That says a lot about your relationship.

You need to sit down and talk calmly. You need to accept your fault in snooping and showing a lack of trust, and he needs to be able to understand exactly why you're concerned.

Hi, thanks for your reply. I reckon it's highly unlikely that a friend used his email address.
As for me checking, I come across a link on Facebook and nosiness/curiosity got the better of me. I didn't specifically go online to check but i guess ultimately that's what I did:$
As for his reaction I suppose as you put it, it could well be a valid reaction but i think if it was me my very first reaction would be surprise or confusion.

strandroad

Frankly I would discard the "it's my email but I didn't put it in" line. There may not be an email verification in place but do you ever hear about people using other people's emails when they can expect some communication from or through the site?

I would assume that he did sign up and take it from there to figure out what it meant for him, and now for you.

Sunflower 27

subwaytovenus wrote: »

Hi, thanks for your reply. I reckon it's highly unlikely that a friend used his email address.
As for me checking, I come across a link on Facebook and nosiness/curiosity got the better of me. I didn't specifically go online to check but i guess ultimately that's what I did:$
As for his reaction I suppose as you put it, it could well be a valid reaction but i think if it was me my very first reaction would be surprise or confusion.

Why would a friend use his email? Why wouldn't 'friend' just create a new one of his own so that he could get all the notifications of messages etc himself.

Do people really believe it when they are told 'someone must have hacked into my account' when they are caught doing wrong? I sure don't. This has lying cheat written all over it. I'm sorry, but that is how I see it and no point dressing it up.

LegacyUser

RebelButtMunch wrote: »

I heard that they had no email verification so anything could be used. I'm not sure if that's true though. Anyone Know?

this isn't true. they did have email verification, in the data there was a table for "isvaild" and for some accounts the email was validated,


op i suppose you have a choice to make, a: do you believe him, b: do you trust him?

if either is maybe/no then i would suggest getting outside help like marriage counselling, if they are yes then you need to put it behind you and move on,

the fact is a lot of people are grasping on to made up media reports of "e-mail's were not validated" as a way out i suppose, or to help their claim"someone else did it" when the truth is, some were validated, some were not (both of these were on "lists" published),so it depends on if your husbands was validated, it's also worth knowing a lot of hotmail.com/.ie addresses were NOT validated but on the list. if you want to know for sure the torrents are out there as are sites with the information, but ultimately it's down to the a and b above.

not a morning person

Take a step back here and look at what he's saying.

'Someone hacked my account' only makes sense if the hacker knew their would be a data breach at some point in the future. Without the data breach the 'hack' serves no purpose.

It's fair to conclude that the 'hack' defence is absurd.

Best of luck dealing with the consequences of this conclusion.

LegacyUser

I did hear of some people's email addresses being used without their knowledge to create fake female profiles.

If he's willing to do so, you and he could go onto the site, and choose the password reset option after entering in his email address. He'll then get an email and will be able to access the profile set up using his address. You can both then go on to it and see what the profile consists of!

LegacyUser

I joined AM a few years ago and i can tell you this, the vast majority of the men I communicated with were using new/made up email addresses without their names etc...in them.There was communication between the website and the user, therefore you would need to use an email address that you'd have access to.
Yes, anyone could maliciously use someone's email address for initial registration but that would be the end of the process , from what I recall.
The men on there,They were online looking for some extra marital/relationship action- they weren't looking to leave their partners so there's no way the majority were gonna be so stupid as to be recognisable.
Having said that, some used recognisable photos which stunned me, just asking for trouble.So maybe some are stupid after all.

It's not the only one of these sites-there are a few more that cater for marrieds/involved looking for another relationship.
But there are also folk on it who are single/ separated looking for other singletons- just in case people are wondering.

Quite sad really, that some people are unfulfilled in their marriages but for financial reasons or because of children, theyre putting up with unhappiness at home rather than leaving.

Bottom line if you find your partner's email address on a site or see that theyve logged on, theyre not curious, they're involved.

Someone with a similar name to me keeps using my email address to sign up for various social media, college apps, job apps. I have no idea how they haven't copped on, especially when I keep getting password reset requests.
So yeah, it's possible someone used his address.

But I don't know if it means someone DID use his address or if he did.
I don't know that his reaction means anything either.
Sorry this is no help OP, I am not sure hat to suggest

Timberrrrrrrr

Fwiw op mine and my GF email addies are there and neither of us signed up to this site, also know one girl who's work email address is there who never used this site.

jimmycrackcorm

I use a friend's email address ask the time to sign him up to sites just to wind him up.

Unless you have something concrete to accuse him of then it's no wonder he's angry.

Carlos Orange

mhge wrote: »

Frankly I would discard the "it's my email but I didn't put it in" line. There may not be an email verification in place but do you ever hear about people using other people's emails when they can expect some communication from or through the site?

I would assume that he did sign up and take it from there to figure out what it meant for him, and now for you.

I fairly regularly get email intended for other people, car rental info , emails about their kids highschool , stuff about charities , pension info , loads of spam. It happens. I think there are 2 or 3 different people who mistakenly give my address sometimes. How likely it is what happened in this case is a whole other story.

daisybelle2008

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

I use a friend's email address ask the time to sign him up to sites just to wind him up.

Unless you have something concrete to accuse him of then it's no wonder he's angry.

Signing a 'friend' who is in a relationship up to dating/cheating sites has to be the nastiest thing imaginable. I would think/hope it's not a common thing, trying to destroy people's relationships for a cheap 'laugh'. I don't buy it unless he hangs around with nasty immature assh*les who secretly hate him. .Surely he would have said this was a possibility and get the culprit to explain themselves.

dudara

@not a morning person - I've deleted your comment as it was not of the standard expected in PI/RI. Please take the time to read the forum charter before posting again.

dudara

Sunflower 27

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

I use a friend's email address ask the time to sign him up to sites just to wind him up.

Unless you have something concrete to accuse him of then it's no wonder he's angry.

Of course she is going to accuse him. His name is up there.

Maybe he should be more concerned about finding out who 'supposedly' bothered to use his email address than taking it out on his partner.

He is going to deny it and probably make this about the OP so she starts to feel bad for daring to question him about what she saw.

He is home and hosed and OP feels like the bad guy. Seen it on here so many times.

giggle84

My understanding of AM is that men had to pay to register? How likely is it that someone, be it a friend playing a prank or a hacker, would pay money to play a prank that the victim of the prank doesn't even know about? No one could have known AM would be hacked and the prank would come out that way.

In line with what other people have said, I get emails sometimes for an address similar to mine, my email address is my name with a dot in the middle and someone else has an email address with the same name but no dot.. I get their emails.

Surely though since there is communication from AM to registered emails, your husband would have received emails for an account he didn't register for, if his story is true?

Honestly I don't buy it at all. My friend is on tinder and in the past couple of weeks alone has seen 3 guys we know on it who have girlfriends, one of them is engaged. You don't need to pay for that and everyone is on it, and these guys are still stupid enough to use it and risk getting caught! So it's not hard to imagine so many people using AM which promised complete discretion.

mightyreds

Are you sure this facebook link was legitimate and not some data retrievel service? I know I'd want access to the dump before making any assumptions?

blue note

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Signing a 'friend' who is in a relationship up to dating/cheating sites has to be the nastiest thing imaginable. I would think/hope it's not a common thing, trying to destroy people's relationships for a cheap 'laugh'. I don't buy it unless he hangs around with nasty immature assh*les who secretly hate him. .Surely he would have said this was a possibility and get the culprit to explain themselves.

Wow. I do the same to a friend. A few people do it to him. Any time I have to enter an e-mail adress for access to Wifi I use his. Or I sign him up to random obscure sites. I don't ever recall signing him up to a dating site, but if I did it would be for the same reason as any other - to wind him up. He has a healthy relationship so we wouldn't worry about his fiancee snooping and we wouldn't have considered a mass hack ending up on the internet either.

I think you're thinking a little joke to be a lot more than it is.

CaraMay

There's absolutely nothing funny about using someone else's email for crap like that.

Op it's highly fanciful that he's not on the site and on it for a reason. It's easier to believe him because the hard work starts when you dont. I personally wouldn't buy it

PirateShampoo

Are some women that desperate for a relationship that they believe "it was one of the lads messing around" line?

I've seen my mates using it, I'm sure I've used it myself, I'm always dumbfounded when it actually works.

RebelButtMunch

Someone I was talking to yesterday posed some interesting posits to me.
How many people using that site are in relationships they feel they cannot get out of or perhaps are afraid to leave their partner, or are in relationships with little or no physicality, and need some intimacy. I thought they were interesting view points, and worth throwing out there...

dudara

Posters - RI is not for general discussion. Posts should offer advice to the OP. If you can't do that, then don't post.

dudara