Getting Over a Break-up

LegacyUser

Hey guys,
I was with a girl for about a year - we were never officially boyfriend/girlfriend but we used to see each other almost every day and were as close as any couple. It was clear she never felt as strong as I did, but I didn't stop this letting myself fall for her. She finished things with me about 3 months ago and even still I cant seem to get that horrible knot out of my stomach and I know i'm walking around like whisper of the fun, energetic and outgoing person I used to be. I have amazing friends who will always listen to me but I feel like a bit of a broken record talking to them about it and I want more than anything to be able to take my mind off of stuff... but I cant. I keep feeling like I'm never ever going to find someone that perfect again. I've started new hobbies, got back into old ones, I'm doing something almost every night of the week, I'm hitting the gym and I've even started a new job to get a new routine completely. I've blocked her on facebook and all social media and haven't talked to her since. I just can't take it anymore. Has anyone else had, or is going through this? I'm kinda losing hope that I'll ever be myself again. Any advice or similar stories (hopefully that ended in success) would be appreciated!

Virgil°

Youre doing everything right so far.

There's no set time for this kinda thing to pass. But it definitely will. You must already have had some days where it didnt feel like the world has ended? These moments will become more and more common until one day you'll realise you're level again.

All the best OP.

LegacyUser

Hi Arthead
I'm going through the exact same thing although I would say the break up was mutual enough maybe leaning towards me initiating it. It's been 2 months and I'm still finding it hard to adjust. It's funny though as you said you felt you cared more deeply for her as this is exactly how I feel and what I've realised is the relationship I had with my ex and what I imagine it could be in my head are completely different. I put him above everyone and it just hit me recently how stupid I've been and how it's time to move on. It's wasted energy and time on someone that's not giving you their all. Think of how you could find your miss right if you weren't focused on your ex,that's what I'm doing ☺

tombrophy123

Howya, Just in regards to your post about your break up, I wanted to let you know that I myself have been in that awful situation myself a few times in my life.
I suppose the hardest one for me was when my 1st love and I split up.
We were together as a couple for 2 years and when she finished college in my home town she went with her flat mate to NYC for the 3 months of the summer.
To make matters worse, her flat mates brother lived over there and my ex had gone out with him before I ever appeared om the scene.
Myself and my ex weren’t getting along brilliantly before she headed away and I suppose I knew in my heart of hearts that we were close to ending but I refused to accept it.
To cut a long story short, after two or three weeks of her being over there, she rang me at the usual time of the week she used to ring me on and I knew by the tone of her voice something was different, so basically she told me she thought we should finish it and of course I knew why she wanted to finish it, it was so as she wouldn’t feel guilty about being with her flatmates brother again.
At the time, it was like my right arm was cut off, I was so used to having her with me for the previous 2 years, every where I went, I had memories of her there to.
Telling people it was all off was horrible aswell, but the worst part for me was that almost every recent memory included herself somewhere and then all of a sudden she wasn’t ever going to be there again and all along I knew she was with another fella all the way over in NY, I felt hurt, so so hurt by her and how she finished it after 2 years but there was nothing I could do about it, it was her decision.
As for that knot you feel in the pit of your stomach, well I had that exact same thing for months after, I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep with a feed of alcohol and generally felt like it was an effort to get out of bed in the morning.
Anyways, since then, I suppose if I’m honest, I’ve had that feeling only after splitting with one other girl in the past and again, after time…it passed.
Many years have passed since all that, I’m now married 10 years to not just a wife but my best friend, we have 2 beautiful kids, a boy 5 months old and a girl just gone 2 years old and I suppose the lessons I’ve learned over the years is that breaking up is never easy, it can be the most devastating thing to have to deal with, you think of them all the time, your memories have them in it and that God awful feeling in your stomach just wont go away BUT……and I mean this, so when youre feeling down and think no one understands, always remember that that feeling WILL subside, the good days will get more plentiful, the bad bad will get less and less and one day you’ll realise out of the blue that you’re not hurting anymore.
It may take a few months, but it will happen.
You have to realise also that pretty much everyone goes through this at some stage in their lives, and that you’re not the first and definitely wont be the last person to have to go through it.
So put the head down, get on with life as hard as it may be, even have a few drinks to help yourself relax and give yourself time….because time is the greatest healer of them all.

IlmoNT4

Your doing great OP....3 months is only 12 weeks and it can take a long time for the heart to feel better. Let your emotions work their way through, feel what you need to feel. Keep talking to your friends, take up new stuff, give yourself time to reflect and be ok with this.

You'll get there, honestly, I've had my heart seriously broken and it gets better with time.

Sleepless and Manic

It sounds like you're doing everything right. Three months isnt very long. Unfortunately. I mean everyones different but for me i've mourned the loss of a love for up to a year or more.

Its get better gradually. You're noticing it already, its still bad but its better after 3 months than it was those first few weeks right?

Hang in there.