Texting a guy

Makapakka

I love reading this site and know that many people here are good at giving opinions so I thought I'd ask for an opinion on this...


My friend likes this guy she has to go to meetings with. She sees him once a week and they only walk outside of the meeting, so very briefly. She picked up his business card at the reception of his job but they don't talk outside that. She wants to text him and ask him out. Is this a bit desperate? I am telling her that if he liked her, he would make it known to her. She says they flirt a bit but that she can't be certain if there's anything there.

Would love to show her the responses here so that she can make a wise decision!

IvyTheTerrible

MOD: Hi OP, I've moved your thread over to personal issues as I feel it's more suited to there. Please take note of the PI charter!

GerB40

Maybe yer man is shy. A girl I know was trying to make her intentions clear to me a few years ago but I had such low self esteem that I just brushed it off.. I couldn't imagine a stunning looking girl showing interest in me. When she finally just told me she fancied me I felt 10 ft tall.

From personal experience I can say that when the woman initiates such discussion, the man will more than likely respond favourably for your friend..

prettyrestless

Does he know that she picked up his business card? Because it sounds like he doesn't and a random text from someone I hadn't given my number to would just scare me!

After the next meeting why doesn't she just slip him her number and ask if he wants to get a drink some time?

Makapakka

No, I don't think he knows she has it. She said she was talking to the receptionist and saw it and picked it up. I told her it was a bit weird to just text him out of the blue.

freshpopcorn

He has a business card so his number is out their. It's not like so get the number secretly.
I don't see the harm in her texting him. The worst he can do is say no. I find some people are overly creeped out with everything nowadays.

Dial Hard

She'd be better off just casually asking him for a coffee or something next time she sees him. Texting him out of the blue when he didn't give her his number is slightly inappropriate, imo. Yes, it's on his business card and therefore "out there", but in a professional capacity. I'd be a bit nonplussed if someone I knew in a business capacity texted my work phone out of the blue to ask me out.

Makapakka

She's shy herself and I think is finding it quite difficult to ask him out. She suggested calling instead but I don't know if that's worse. Just don't want her to make a mistake and feel awkward afterwards.

Cartel Mike

Two things she can do here without using her phone.

1/ Go to the next meeting more aloof , no flirting at all. Depending on the person this could yield good results.

2/ If it doesn't , next time she's talking one on one throw in the question "Are you shy" . This A/ sets a precedence & B/ If he's intersted and answers it wrong he will spend a full week thinking about how he should have answered it (which is what she wants) and arrive the following week with a whole new attitude.

Mr. Incognito

As I guy if I got a text like that out of the blue i would think it was someone winding me up.

She should ring him on a pretence. Then a day or so later when he knows she has his number text and ask him out

unreg999

Why not just text him Long the lines of 'hope you don't mind I got your number from your business card, really enjoy our brief chats, you seem like an interesting guy, would you like to go out for a coffee/drink/date/shag sometime?'

OK the last bit was a joke!

If he replies in the positive then she can text back to make a solid plan 'how about Saturday afternoon at blah blah?'

'great, see you then!'

If he replies in the negative she could just brush it off 'no bother, see you next week ' don't forget the smiley face, that's essential!
no big declarations of everlasting love, no harm done!

Dial Hard

Cartel Mike wrote: »

Two things she can do here without using her phone.

1/ Go to the next meeting more aloof , no flirting at all. Depending on the person this could yield good results.

2/ If it doesn't , next time she's talking one on one throw in the question "Are you shy" . This A/ sets a precedence & B/ If he's intersted and answers it wrong he will spend a full week thinking about how he should have answered it (which is what she wants) and arrive the following week with a whole new attitude.

Or she could dispense with ridiculous games and just, y'know, ask him for a coffee after their next meeting.

I have no idea why people feel the need to needlessly complicate perfectly simple interactions by employing tactics such as the ones above.

Cartel Mike

Look , with all respect the girl is shy. I'm just trying to help the poster.

This way she has a way of finding out before a possible direct rejection.

And in fairness , why have this part of a forum if your answer is the answer to every question about this subject. Why not just copy & paste your answer into a sticky so there's no need for anyone to ask anything at all.

People are different .I guess not everyone wants to be that direct or obvious

Ursus Horribilis

How does she know the guy doesn't already have a girlfriend?

Besides, if she's capable of flirting with him why can't she strike up a conversation with him and get to know him a little? That way she could gauge whether he's single or not and if there's anything more to this than mere flirting.

Is she prepared to deal with the consequences if he says no? She will still be sitting in meetings with him, won't she? As they say, don't get your honey where you make your money.