Convicted child rapist moving in next door

LegacyUser

Hi everyone. I'm posting this as anonymous to avoid identifying any of the people or places involved in my predicament

What would you do under the following circumstances

A man who had been convicted of the violent rape of a young boy has returned to Ireland to 'clear his name' and moves into a house a few doors down from yours.

Without giving too much information, the conviction was for a once off offence when the convicted was a teenager, and he is now in his 30s with no evidence of any other violent or sexual offences.

This person is in a relationship with a woman who has a young boy of a different father who will also be living in the house.

The mother of the child is someone we know. She has invited us before to her son's birthday parties, her son is a friend of our son.

Yesterday they moved into the area and her son spent some time in our house playing with our son. We haven't met the man yet

Our kids are asking if they can go and play in the boys house. The boy calls the man 'Daddy' even though his real biological father lives nearby and his mother has only been in a relationship with the new man for a short period of time...

I don't really know what to do...

Neyite

I wouldn't let my child go to play at theirs. No way.

Not when it was a conviction and involved a violent assault on a child. Do social services know about the family? If not, I'd be calling them and making sure that they do.

I know its not popular, but when it comes to child safety, I'd rather be 'that b!tch' down the road who wouldn't let her kid near him than be a mum that made a terrible error of judgement and as a consequence, my child would have lifelong emotional trauma as a result. I've met adult survivors of child sexual abuse and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply

I don't know if the social services are involved. I don't even know if he is on the sex offenders list because the incident happened before the Sex Offenders Act 2001 was in place

Does anyone know the best way to anonymously notify the social services so they can keep an eye on him and make sure the little boy living there is safe?

Would the Garda Confidential line be any use?

I don't know where to start tbh

lazygal

Like Neyite when it comes to my children I'll be as paranoid as I like. I've heard too many horrors over the years involving families and neighbours to make me comfortable with this kind of scenario. My children wouldn't be going to the house to play and I wouldn't care if I was "that" awkward parent to others.

bp

Agree with all above but to play devils advocate - you say 'clear his name', is there any chance if he is innocent?

Otherwise I would do the same and not let me child over

Neyite

rabblerabblerabble wrote: »

Does anyone know the best way to anonymously notify the social services so they can keep an eye on him and make sure the little boy living there is safe?

Would the Garda Confidential line be any use?

I don't know where to start tbh

I don't, I'm sorry. I think I'd probably start with the Garda Confidential line, give the names of those involved, the address etc. Chances are they can access the case details that you cant, or even contact places where he was living to see if he was a suspect in any similar crimes and assess the risk.

But I'd also tell SS. This tells you how to report a child you suspect is at risk. Its only a phone call, and if he is a truly reformed character, he should be happy to explain to SS why this boy is safe, and understand their concerns.

Moonbeam

Did he serve time for it?
Is it definately the same person?

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/justice/criminal_law/criminal_trial/sex_offenders_register.html


I would not let my child over until I knew alot more.

loalae

Call the social services. They will assess whether it is safe for that woman's child to live with that man and, if not, whether she is willing to safeguard her own child or if the relationship is more important to her. No point in calling the police unless you have evidence that he has committed a new offence. Keep your child away from the home for now.

Go to the Tusla website and find the number for your local duty social work team. Members of the public are allowed to make anonymous referrals but be prepared to be asked for asuch info as possible

zeffabelli

Ok. So here is what we know.

He was a teen ager, do we know if over the age of consent?

How old was the other boy? Was he 16? Was it statutory rape?

He has not re offended.

This was a once off crime/mistake possible not a repeated pathology. While I may not feel ok with my boy around him, he paid his sentence, he had not re offended, we don't know the details so I'd be inclined not to call social services and the cops and have a witch hunt on a man with so little data.

loalae

Yes, and the people to gather that data and ascertain whether the man poses any risk to children are the children's services.

Lux23

Contact social services and in the meantime, I wouldn't allow your child to play at their house. Do you think this woman knows about the offence?

Rock77

OP, do not let ur child anywhere near that person. Whatever else u do is ur choice but u cannot let ur child near a person that has been convicted of a crime like that.

U hav been given prior warning of what this man is capable of, protect ur child.

neemish

In one way, there isn't enough information. A once off conviction for an offence in his teens could mean just that - a once off.

On the other hand, I wouldn't take the chance with my child. Unless I knew the person had received treatment and that there wasn't a hint of a suspicion since, I just wouldn't let my child into that house. If they want to play, they can play outside. Or failing that, organise a neutral venue. If that makes you look like a wagon, so be it.

Any Child Safeguarding course will tell you that it is not your job to investigate - that's up to the Gardai and Tusla. If you have any concerns, ring your local duty Social Worker. I would also contact the Gardai. They have a national database (in Harcourt Street I think) of offenders, and afaik keep a record of concerns/allegations. They won't tell you anything, but if this person is trying to keep under the radar, the Gardai will deal with it.

January

Rock77 wrote: »

OP, do not let ur child anywhere near that person. Whatever else u do is ur choice but u cannot let ur child near a person that has been convicted of a crime like that.

U hav been given prior warning of what this man is capable of, protect ur child.

Please do not use text speak again.

Rock77

??? Wow. If somebody was convicted of a crime like this then DO NOT let your child into a house with them, even if he only did it once!!!!
In my opinion, if a parent knowingly allows their child into a house with a person convicted of a crime like this, and something happens then the parent should be arrested!

SpaceSasqwatch

just make sure you are 100% sure the person is the convict....dont rely on hearsay get official confirmation before engaging on a witch hunt.

Cabaal

SpaceSasqwatch wrote: »

just make sure you are 100% sure the person is the convict....dont rely on hearsay get official confirmation before engaging on a witch hunt.

Agreed, stick to hard facts not any sort of hearsay, however even then a witch hunt isn't helpful,

If you have concerns bring them to attention of appropriate authority's

di11on

Agreeing with other posters here. You are your child's first line of defence and that comes before any nicey nicey bullshirt.

Edit: what I mean by that is avoid voluntary contact once you are sure that the person in question is the person in question.

Irishcrx

Absolutely not , I couldn't care less what circumstances led to his conviction or how long ago it was , I couldn't care less if he spent his life since then in remorse, guilt or working to feed the poor.

The fact is he is a danger to my son.

And it's my responsibility to protect him , if it was questioned about why my son wasn't allowed over I'd say it out straight.

'Your boyfriend is a convicted child sex offender and won't be allowed within 50 feet of my child'

No excuses , no more explanation. Be very very stern here.

Majority of child sex offenders will come accross as very polite , remorseful , whatever they have to do. But the fact is no matter what others say about second chances and people changing , they have an urge for it that is likely never to leave and they are a risk.

Risk vs reward 100% vs 0%.

finglashoop

Not a hope.

Id be weary of letting my kids play outside where he is to be honest.