Leaving town. Do I tell her I'm mad about her!

pidgeoneyes

Hello all

I'm a 33 year old guy leaving town to go back to college for 9 months. The problem is this girl has a boyfriend. I'm not planning to ask her to leave her b/f, I just want her to know how I feel about her.

We were together for a while and she gave me every opportunity to turn it into something more serious. I instead chickened out, letting something great fizzle out for fear I'd end up with a "girlfriend". It's gotten tough knowing what could have been. If I had bothered we would probably have ended up going out together, no guarantee it would have worked but you never know.

The reason I feel I'm able to talk to her is that in the last while I passed my flight test to become a pilot. This, I think has given me the kick in the arse needed to realise that the only way to get what I want in life is to stop thinking about doing it and actually go and put the effort into doing it.

I know it's a bad idea. I don't want to upset her but that's exactly what I could end up doing. The only way I feel I can move on is by telling her the truth. I also think that I have to block her facebook and phone to have any hope of getting over her. I don't want to but I also can't sit around waiting for her to be single.

Sorry about the long winded post but I honestly don't know what to do. I need to do something because pining for someone whether they're single or not can't be healthy.

Penny Tration

She has a boyfriend, and you gave up your chance.

It'd be totally unfair to tell her you like her when she's already with someone else. Don't be that guy.

kylith

You had your chance and you blew it, move on. To tell her now would be cruel, and would come across as you egotistically lobbing a bomb into her current relationship.

Jotunheim

From what you've written there, your reasons for telling her are entirely selfish and you'd be interfering in her happiness then not sticking around to deal with the fallout. That'd be pretty horrible. Besides, if she's any sense and self-respect she'd tell you where to go.
I can't see any upside to this except you feeling like you tried. If you have any regard for her at all, don't impose that on her, just suck it up and leave her alone.

pidgeoneyes

All of that sounds fair. No good will come of messing with someone else's relationship. Thanks folks

Banaba

No just leave her

Exclamation Marc

As others have said, it's best to say nothing. If you care about her, its not fair to mess with her life. Throwing a grenade into her life when she's done nothing wrong isn't nice and you're a nicer guy than that.

If you did, the only outcome is that she'll be really unhappy with you for interfering and you'll destroy any future relationship with her. You're leaving, so being together isn't going to happen or isn't option, so there's no point, it'd just cause hassle.

If you still have any sort of amicable relationship or friendship with her, I wouldn't block her from Facebook or anything. Hide her from your feed at the most. If she suddenly notices you've blocked her after being somewhat friends, it could force the issue to come up which again is not fair. If you no relationship whatsoever and she's just one of those facebook friends who sits there, then block away.