Depression - how to tell them I need time off work

penovine

Hi, long story short, last week my doctor has told me that I need time off to deal with my depression/anxiety.
I work for a big organisation.
After trying to cope this week, I cannot face another day. I need to call in sick tomorrow.
I have to call my line manager in the morning - but what do I tell them? I do not want to tell her about my depression over the phone?
I would prefer to leave it a few days and then contact HR - and talk to them. I would love to think that this would be treated in confidence. But what do I tell my colleagues anyway? I know that there has been a lot of press about mental health but I am worried that I will be judged.
I am so stressed about this - I just reaslised that I am not focusing on how to treat my depression at all - rather how to cope with work/telling them.
What do I do?

magicmushroom

I don't think you need to provide the reason over the phone when you call.
Just say you're not feeling well enough to attend work and you have a doctors cert that signs you off for X amount of days.

You can then discuss it with HR when you return.

As for your work colleagues, you could just say that you were signed off with an issue that you'd rather not discuss. If one of my colleagues said that to me, I wouldn't ask any further questions.

davo10

penovine wrote: »

Hi, long story short, last week my doctor has told me that I need time off to deal with my depression/anxiety.
I work for a big organisation.
After trying to cope this week, I cannot face another day. I need to call in sick tomorrow.
I have to call my line manager in the morning - but what do I tell them? I do not want to tell her about my depression over the phone?
I would prefer to leave it a few days and then contact HR - and talk to them. I would love to think that this would be treated in confidence. But what do I tell my colleagues anyway? I know that there has been a lot of press about mental health but I am worried that I will be judged.
I am so stressed about this - I just reaslised that I am not focusing on how to treat my depression at all - rather how to cope with work/telling them.
What do I do?

Op you must inform your employer if you are taking leave due to illness. They will require a certificate from your GP stating why you are unable to attend work, but may not require specifics of your illness. If the absence continues longterm then you may be required to attend an independent medical examiner, your contract will state your employer's requirements in order to grant you sick leave. If you do not inform your employer that you are ill and the broad details of your illness as per your contract, you may be deemed absent without leave. Your illness should be treated with strict confidentiality by your employer, they may have a legitimate interest in why you cannot attend for work but data protection prevents them from requiring specific details.

From Data Protection Site:

4.9 Can my employer demand that my sick certificates set out the nature of my illness?



In general, no. Under the Data Protection Acts, medical data is defined as sensitive data. An employer has a legitimate interest in knowing how long an employee is likely to be absent from work. S/he also has a legitimate interest in knowing whether an employee, following an accident or illness, is capable of doing particular types of work. Requiring employees to produce standard individual doctor's certificates to cover absences due to illness does not therefore present any data protection issues. But an employer would not normally have a legitimate interest in knowing the precise nature of an illness and would therefore be at risk of breaching the Acts if s/he sought such information Even the consent of the employee may not allow the disclosure of such information to an employer as there is a doubt as to whether such consent could be considered to be freely given in such circumstances.
There may be certain, very specific circumstances where a doctor may be legally obliged to report certain conditions to an employer for health and safety reasons but this would not involve making a full file available. Some organisations may also have a requirement that employees, who are perhaps on long term sick leave, are referred after a certain period to a company doctor for examination and the doctor will provide a report to the company advising whether they consider the person fit for work or not (again this would not involve the provision of a detailed medical report to the employer nor access to previous medical files). Neither of these scenarios would involve a breach of the Data Protection Acts.

Wanderer78

best of luck with this op. just listen to the advice your doctor gives. it can take time to deal with so take your time. your mental well being is your priority now. some good advice given here so far and dont worry about your work colleagues. you dont need to tell anybody anything as such

magentis

Don't worry too much about the nitty gritty of this op.Just ring your line manager and tell them that you are unwell and a medical cert is on its way.Get the cert from your doctor,the duration will be his decision,indeed when I was unwell the cert was open ended no need for weekly certs.
It is a good thing that you work for a large company,these usually have the knowledge to deal with such issues and are more often than not more supportive than small business.
Just remember that a lot of people suffer these problems and go on to make a full recovery.Nothing at all to be ashamed of,we are human after all not machines.

Rhys Essien

OP,this is 2015,no problem to say that you are signed off with 'Stress'.Over the last few years a few people in my place said exactly this and no one batted an eyelid.We are all grown ups and know this is not a laughing matter.

penovine

magentis wrote: »

Don't worry too much about the nitty gritty of this op.Just ring your line manager and tell them that you are unwell and a medical cert is on its way.Get the cert from your doctor,the duration will be his decision,indeed when I was unwell the cert was open ended no need for weekly certs.
It is a good thing that you work for a large company,these usually have the knowledge to deal with such issues and are more often than not more supportive than small business.
Just remember that a lot of people suffer these problems and go on to make a full recovery.Nothing at all to be ashamed of,we are human after all not machines.

thanks so much for that..

penovine

Rhys Essien wrote: »

OP,this is 2015,no problem to say that you are signed off with 'Stress'.Over the last few years a few people in my place said exactly this and no one batted an eyelid.We are all grown ups and know this is not a laughing matter.

thing is, some colleagues have asked me "whats wrong, your very quiet?".. and i said "oh you know stuff, not to be rude but i don't want to talk about it" and one in particular was like "ha? come on, tell em?" and i don't know her that well at all...

i am sure that they know something is wrong.. i have had difficulty concentrating.. even engaging with eye contact,, i just cannot engage..

i need some breathing time..

my doc is very supportive.. has even advised me to take his help..

he wants me to take meds - i am reluctant - but thats another thread..

i will go for therapy, in time...

right now i just wanna walk.... in peace and quiet... i just want it all to stop.

Wanderer78

penovine wrote: »

thing is, some colleagues have asked me "whats wrong, your very quiet?".. and i said "oh you know stuff, not to be rude but i don't want to talk about it" and one in particular was like "ha? come on, tell em?" and i don't know her that well at all...

i am sure that they know something is wrong.. i have had difficulty concentrating.. even engaging with eye contact,, i just cannot engage..

i need some breathing time..

my doc is very supportive.. has even advised me to take his help..

he wants me to take meds - i am reluctant - but thats another thread..

i will go for therapy, in time...

right now i just wanna walk.... in peace and quiet... i just want it all to stop.

id highly recommend therapy but i guess your doctors advice is best

Mrs OBumble

Are you female? "Mutter, mumble gynaecologist said ..." usually shuts up male colleagues nicely.

wat24

I have been in the same boat and to be honest have just used various excuses kidney infection, tonsillitis, hurt back etc. My doctor was very happy to just write medical illness on my certs and actually refused to detail my illness when my employer asked for further information. Obviously if it you are going to be off long term u will need to speak to hr and probably give more details but in the short time focus on yourself and after a few weeks this will all be easier to face. I experienced the exact same thing last year it does get better.

penovine

thanks for that wat24 and to all the other replies.

Ok so I have called in sick this morn and i said i would not be back till next week. I will see my doc on fri and we will go from there. I talked to a good friend/colleague today and did some thinking - my work place might be more understanding that i imagine, and i think i may need to be off for a few months.

In this case, I think I would be ok to tell HR the reaL reason I am off - as I think I will need to go to the Occupational doc and a lie would only stress me out. I would be more difficult for me to go back thinking that people knew I was bull****ting ie if i said i had a back prob etc... i am a bad liar anyway.

As regards colleagues asking - i will just say medical reasons - let them think what they want. But I feel crap enough without carrying the guilt of a lie too.

So I will go to my doc on fri and then perhaps arrange to talk to HR on Monday.
Maybe HR will be more helpful than i know.

any thoughts are welcome

penovine

hi, update,

so i had to go back to the doc on fri to get a med cert but there was a relief doc there - not my usual doc.
She advised me NOT to go to HR and not to put down the real reason - she was very anti HR - says that they just want people out etc ??? and so she put down a chest infection on my cert and MC1 form.
I am so confused... but i am not comfortable to send this in - I still have till Tue to send in the cert.
My usual doc will be back on Thurs - he knows me really well - knows the whole story - I will see him then and decide once and for all how long i will need off etc. and i will defo sort out this work thing after that.
But in the mean time, I need to hand in a cert by Tue eve for the week i will have been out.
My head is torn as to what to put on it (gonna get another one from the doc sec - not gonna head in the one with the chest infection anyway). I think a lie would make matters worse as I am gonna eventually have to go to the Occ health doc at work.

I will not be able to start to work on my condition until I have it this sorted.. freaking me out..

Apologies if i am repeating myself - head in circles..

any thoughts?

magentis

All I can say to you is don't be afraid to talk about this and don't be ashamed or stigmatised by this.Its easy for me to say now but looking back on when i was unwell,i dragged my heels when coming to accept i needed to talk to someone and use some meds to help myself get well.The first cert i sent into my employer had 'back pain' on it.This was changed by my doctor at a later date to my correct diagnosis and my hr/medical dept never even mentioned it.

Mrs OBumble

penovine wrote: »

She advised me NOT to go to HR and not to put down the real reason - she was very anti HR - says that they just want people out etc ??? and so she put down a chest infection on my cert and MC1 form.
I am so confused... but i am not comfortable to send this in - I still have till Tue to send in the cert.
My usual doc will be back on Thurs - he knows me really well - knows the

Is it possible that you do have a chest infection as well as depression. If this was the case, then I would hand that certificate in. If not, try and see another doctor on Monday, tell them that you aren't happy with lying, and get them to issue an honest certificate.

I would also have words with the regular doctor on Thursday, about hiring locums who tell lies. 'Cos if the doctor is lying to your employer, who else are they possibly lying to (including you).

Pretending that mental illness isn't happening just stigmatises it further.

Caledonia

The op isn't here too carry the flag for mental health though. Sure, it's got huge attention in the media, where funnily the stories are v straightforward and miraculously people recover just by asking for help once. Real life isn't like that and people need to protect themselves.

It may or may not be in the op's best interest to disclose the nature of the illness. Memories are long, not everyone is as decent as you would hope. The nature of workplaces is that people are nosey.
I would say hand in that cert for now op, and take the medication.

Eoin

This is just so you know your options, I don't want to seem like I am trying to convince you one way or the other; I'm just not sure if anyone else mentioned it yet.

As depression is considered a disability, your employer is legally obliged to accommodate you (Employment Equality Acts 1998, 2004), unless the cost of doing so is disproportionate. That could mean shorter hours, reduced / different duties etc, depending on what medical advice you get.

I don't have any links to hand, but it was something that the HR in my last company were very clear on during management training. You said you work for a large organisation - this could mean they're more likely to have some experience in this and/or have policies in place.

You don't get that protection by submitting a sick cert with something else on it. If it's likely to cause future absences (which can be really frustrating for a manager to deal with if they don't know the background), it might be better if they know. But, as Caledonia said, you need to weigh up what's best for you. I can totally sympathise why people would be very reluctant to disclose this.

But if you're certified sick now, don't stress about telling them or not for the time being.

penovine

Hi Thanks for the replies.
Well, I after much deliberation and advice seeking, I gave in a cert but I did not say anything about depression. And I did not speak to HR or my line manager. I just stuck with the policy - rang admin etc. Handed in med certs etc. My doc put down stress - but as a result of a medical condition. No mention of anxiety or depression.
You know, its a big organisation, but they are not a sympathetic bunch. Its all about getting the work done. And people there are so nosey and cliquey.
I am happy now with the decision - I am so happy that I did not bare all.
Although Eoin, thats interesting what you said - and I was not aware of it. I may avail of this at a later stage if needs be. Good to know. I will check out the legal jargon.

In the meantime, I have been proactive in terms of getting help.. and its working.. long road ahead but at least I can see a road (if some of ye know what I mean).

thanks for all the help = this thread has been great - good moral support... take care of ye all

Stheno

Good for you, keep that info about depression being a disability at the back of your mind.

Get well soon, and best wishes

Chucken

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Are you female? "Mutter, mumble gynaecologist said ..." usually shuts up male colleagues nicely.

Are you for real?

Stheno

Chucken wrote: »

Are you for real?

True story, years ago working in a fairly male dominated team I'd a colleague who was obsessed by the fact that I'd been married a few years and didn't have children.

Literally three times a week he would corner me to ask me why I didn't have children (he was worse than Dinny in Glenroe)

After about four weeks of this, I took him aside and told him "in confidence" that we had "issues" when it came to having kids.

He never ever bothered me again

Chucken

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Are you female? "Mutter, mumble gynaecologist said ..." usually shuts up male colleagues nicely.

Stheno wrote: »

True story, years ago working in a fairly male dominated team I'd a colleague who was obsessed by the fact that I'd been married a few years and didn't have children.

Literally three times a week he would corner me to ask me why I didn't have children (he was worse than Dinny in Glenroe)

After about four weeks of this, I took him aside and told him "in confidence" that we had "issues" when it came to having kids.

He never ever bothered me again

I was more intrigued that the poster above posted what she did

Mrs OBumble

Chucken wrote: »

Are you for real?

Yes.

Something I learned from some older women colleagues in my first job, twenty-mumble years ago.

MadDog76

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Yes.

Something I learned from some older women colleagues in my first job, twenty-mumble years ago.

This is 2015, I'd like to think us "cavemen" have moved on from being flustered by "women's problems" .......... it's obvious that advice is over 20 years old tbh.

Saudade

penovine wrote: »

Hi Thanks for the replies.
Well, I after much deliberation and advice seeking, I gave in a cert but I did not say anything about depression. And I did not speak to HR or my line manager. I just stuck with the policy - rang admin etc. Handed in med certs etc. My doc put down stress - but as a result of a medical condition. No mention of anxiety or depression.
You know, its a big organisation, but they are not a sympathetic bunch. Its all about getting the work done. And people there are so nosey and cliquey.
I am happy now with the decision - I am so happy that I did not bare all.
Although Eoin, thats interesting what you said - and I was not aware of it. I may avail of this at a later stage if needs be. Good to know. I will check out the legal jargon.

In the meantime, I have been proactive in terms of getting help.. and its working.. long road ahead but at least I can see a road (if some of ye know what I mean).

thanks for all the help = this thread has been great - good moral support... take care of ye all

Hello penovine,

I hope you are ok and recovering well at home, sleeping and eating well.

Do you have any update about your situation in regards to dealing with your workplace? Any feedback, positive or negative, from your manager or HR?

Take care.