Montessori and expectations regarding toileting

Sligo1

Hi all, just looking for a little bit of info here. we started toilet training our 2.5 yo boy this summer. He got the wee straight away but has been slower to get the poo. But thank gosh he seems to have mastered the poo now. Thing is... Although he hasnt had a wee accident in ages im worried he might when he starts montessori. Basically, his montessori states he has to be fully toilet trained. Now, i think the reason he hasnt had an accident in ages is because we will out him on the toilet if he hasnt been for 2-3 hours and he will go then. Sometimes he doesnt ask and will have the tinest spot of urine on his underpants but never a proper accident. He goes to playschool twice a week and they always tell him to go and he will go. But im worried the Montessori will leave him completely to his own devices?

Hes only just learned to pull his pants up by himself aswell. But unless told will quite happily run around with his pants down. His montessori wont clean or wipe adn wont go into the toilet with him, and i dont think will encourage him to go either (if he hasnt gone for a couple hours say).

I understand the wiping thing is a child protection issue and all but im surprised the Montessori expect a little 2.5 yo to be able to do all this by himself? Nevermind the fact that hes going to be new to a completely strange environment aswell. I know i should have checked all this out before enrolling him but this is where we are now. is it normal for non HSE Montessoris to expect all this of a 2.5 yo? Were your kids when they were 2.5 doing all this? Perhaps im being silly and should have taught him all of these things a long time ago? Im a bit stressed over it now as hes meant to start 1st September. Just currently waiting on a call from the principal so I can clarify all this.... any replies in the meantime appreciated.

lazygal

I'd be open with the Montessori about this. Explain that he is toilet trained but will need to be reminded to go and may need help with wiping himself. Meanwhile, practice wiping with him at home. When my daughter started school she had a couple of accidents when we got home because she hadn't gone to the toilet. I think the morning was so busy she simply forgot to go, and I asked them to remind her to go before she has her lunch. If they're anyway understanding they'll help him.
I send in spare pants and socks/tights in her school bag, but the school have said they can't deal with poo related accidents as they don't have the facilities, which is fair enough as its a stand-alone school not in a creche. I think after a few weeks he'll want to be a big boy like the others and you'll probably find he'll sort out himself and learn.

Sligo1

lazygal wrote: »

I'd be open with the Montessori about this. Explain that he is toilet trained but will need to be reminded to go and may need help with wiping himself. Meanwhile, practice wiping with him at home. When my daughter started school she had a couple of accidents when we got home because she hadn't gone to the toilet. I think the morning was so busy she simply forgot to go, and I asked them to remind her to go before she has her lunch. If they're anyway understanding they'll help him.
I send in spare pants and socks/tights in her school bag, but the school have said they can't deal with poo related accidents as they don't have the facilities, which is fair enough as its a stand-alone school not in a creche. I think after a few weeks he'll want to be a big boy like the others and you'll probably find he'll sort out himself and learn.

Thanks Lazygal! I just spoke with the deputy Principle there and was open and told her my worries. She said he will be encouraged to pull up his pants and to go if he has not been etc which is a relief. Also, she said the toilet are in the classroom aswell. They wont deal with poo related accidents tho. Which is fine as i wouldnt think (fingers crossed) he will have any. Byt they wont wipe. was your little one wiping herself at 2.5 Lazygal?

lazygal

She has always been pretty good, but at home I'd check her if there was a need IYKWIM? But she's with a minder during the day and will be after school and I wouldn't really expect them to check her like I would!

sm213

I find when they're around other kids doing all the same thing they catch on pretty quickly to what they should be doing. My oldest would never nap at home without a struggle from around age 1 but naptime in creche they all lay down together. As it was a creche though toilet training wasn't an issue and they even helped with training which was great. Think they bring them all to the toilet at a specific time anyway to make sure they go. That's just my experience though.

Millem

Sligo would they just leave the child in a poo accident?

Sligo1

sm213 wrote: »

I find when they're around other kids doing all the same thing they catch on pretty quickly to what they should be doing. My oldest would never nap at home without a struggle from around age 1 but naptime in creche they all lay down together. As it was a creche though toilet training wasn't an issue and they even helped with training which was great. Think they bring them all to the toilet at a specific time anyway to make sure they go. That's just my experience though.

Thanks sm213. That's what the principal said aswell that he will catch on to the pulling up pants etc.

Sligo1

Millem wrote: »

Sligo would they just leave the child in a poo accident?

Hi Millem, no they said if a child has an accident they will always clean them the first time. But the second time the parents or minder will be called in to clean them. I'm not worried about a poo accident tho as he is pooling in potty now. It just I've been wiping him after which they won't do so I will have to teach him that over the next week. Principal told me he will be encouraged to pull up and down his pants and wash hand tho etc which is what I was worried about aswell.

lazygal

The whole philosophy behind the Montessori method is to enable children to do things for themselves, so toileting oneself is part of that. I used to teach it myself, and very quickly they catch on to what's expected and want to be like the big boys and girls in the class.

Sligo1

lazygal wrote: »

The whole philosophy behind the Montessori method is to enable children to do things for themselves, so toileting oneself is part of that. I used to teach it myself, and very quickly they catch on to what's expected and want to be like the big boys and girls in the class.

thats what i thought you see lazygal. but this monyessori seems to expect the kids to.have all this.done already

Ms2011

We did pull ups in Montessori for the first while. No big drinks before he went in, went to the toilet before we left & pull ups came off as soon as we came home & he wore normal pants.
I know alot of people say it confuses them but it worked for us & gave me piece of mind while I sussed out how he was going to handle having to go in school. As soon as he was coming home consistantly dry we did away with the pull ups & never looked back.

iguana

Isn't 2 and a half very young to have the dexterity and attention to detail to be able to wipe their bottoms properly after a poo? I say this as a parent who practised part-time elimination communication and my son rarely ever pooed in his nappy after 28 weeks so I'm not someone who believes a child that young is incapable of having great control of their toileting habits. It's just that sometimes poo is quite messy and a toddlers attempt to wipe themselves clean can in fact just spread about what they were attempting to clean away. I'm all for letting a child do it for themselves but realistically, in order to assure that they are actually clean every time at that age, they need someone to supervise and clean up anything they miss. Otherwise they are at risk of leaving streaks of faecal matter on their bottom. And that can't be hygienic for anyone because it's most likely going to itch and if it does, they are going to scratch and it will spread about.